Cross My Heart

October 31st. It had to be my absolute favourite day of the year for two reasons. One, I got to see everyone dress up. But this year, I couldn't dress up,because no costume would fit properly. Pregnancy sometimes takes the fun out of everything.
And two, it was my birthday. I turned 21. I had been legal to drink in BC for a while., but I couldn't. I didn't like alcohol to begin with. Occasionally, it was okay, but not all the time.

Josh had fallen into the habit of sleeping over at my house. He hadn't moved in, but basically it was like he was living with me. I woke up to him banging around in the kitchen. I walked out of the bedroom and looked into the kitchen. “Josh, hon, what are you doing?” I asked, scaring him slightly.

“Oh...I was going to...” He looked back at the pan on the stove. “Make breakfast?”

“By making that much noise?” I laughed slightly.

“Yes, that was the whole plan.” Josh smirked. He walked up to me and put his arms around me, kissing me lightly. “Happy birthday Jaws.” He said. I remember the last birthday I had, my 20th, Marianas Trench, and the whole crowd at the show, sang Happy Birthday to me when we were on tour. It was was of the most embarrassing, but amusing things ever. “You know, I think something's come between us.” Josh joked. I smiled at him.

“No, really? I couldn't tell.” I said, smiling. Josh had actually been taking the whole pregnancy thing quite nicely. He was always there when I needed him. Even if I did call him at 3 in the morning sometimes. There were a few times, I had noticed, where he seemed a little unsure about everything, but over-all, I think he was excited.

“Do you remember what time everyone is supposed to be here?” Josh asked, turning back to the pan.

“Not until 5 or so.” I said. Josh was still standing by the pan, looking quite contemplative. “Why don't we just go out for breakfast?” I suggested.

“No. I want to make you breakfast. Now, you, go...somewhere else!” Josh ushered me out of the kitchen. I laughed and walked into the living room, which also now served as my office. We had to move everything out of the actual office so we could put all the baby stuff into that room. There was a basement that was basically the same as the top floor. It had two bedrooms, a bathroom, a living room area and even a place if you wanted a kitchen. It was like two houses in one. People asked me how I could afford to live in a place like that. Truth is, my dad owned the house. He as long as I payed the rent, I could live there. I really appreciated my dad's help with that.

About 20 minutes went by, and Josh called me back into the kitchen. I walked back in and Josh pointed to the table. There was a plate of scrambled eggs, toast and a few strips of what looked to be slightly over-cooked bacon. Josh never was any good at domestic skills. But it was the thought that counted. “It's not much, but it's a start!” Josh said, grabbing his own plate of food. I smiled and sat down. The eggs were actually quite good. As was the toast, but I preferred my bacon not over-cooked. I didn't say anything though.

There was a knock on my door around 5:10. I struggled my way off the couch. I was not liking the not being able to get up thing. I opened the door and was almost instantly hug-attacked from Airin. “Happy birthday baby sis!” Airin said. I laughed lightly as he let me go. He got out of the way to let me hug Marque. His hair was a lot different. Usually, his hair was dark brown, but it had been dyed to a light caramel colour with blond mixed into it.

“Aw, Marque, your hair looks good!” I said, letting him in.

“Thanks! Jazz did it for me!” Marque chirped happily. Jazz took a hairdressing course in high school. She did that in our grade 12 year through a program set up through the school. In grade 12, halfway through second semester, was when Kliik started. I was gone from school for weeks at a time recording that album. As was Airin and Colbie. Keith didn't have to worry about it, since we recorded in Vancouver. Sometimes in Kelowna. I missed out on a bit of high school, but it was a great experience.

Jazz and Matt showed up soon after, and Mariah did as well. She brought Ian with her. I hadn't spent much time with Ian when we were touring together. He was a pretty cool guy, however. I invited Mike too, but he only stayed for a little while. Him and his wife, who I had never met, but heard little about, had made some other plans for the evening. I called Keith and he told me he may, or may not show up, depending on if Olivia wanted him to go with her to some party one of her friends was having. I really did not like Olivia one bit. She was okay at first, but now...not so much.

“When do I get to obnoxiously sing happy birthday to you?” Airin complained from a chair in the living room.

“Never!” I said from the kitchen, the appearing in the living room.

“I could sing the Boston Pizza song.” Airin said. Everyone looked at him, slightly confused. “You don't know the BP song?” Airin cleared his throat. “I don't know what I've been told, Josline here is getting old!” Airin sang loudly. I had sat down on the couch. I picked up one of the pillows and threw it at him, hitting him in the face before he could sing anymore. “Okay, I can take a hint.” Airin said, pushing the pillow off of him. Everyone else laughed. Jazz smiled and stood up.

“I made you a birthday cake, now we're allowed to sing happy birthday in an off-tone key if we want!” Jazz said. Both her and I agreed that no one could ever sing happy birthday and sound good.

“I don't want to be sung happy birthday to!” I said.

“Why not?” Jazz asked.

“Not unless Keith is here.” I said. And is if on cue, there was a knock at the door. “Jazz...could you get it? I can't get up.” I said, attempting to stand up, but proving useless. Jazz just smiled and nodded. She disappeared, then reappeared a few seconds later with Keith.

“Did someone call for a slice of Key Lime pie?” Keith smirked.

“No, but you'll do!” I smiled. I asked Josh to help me up. He basically pushed me up. I was wobbly for a few seconds before gaining my balance. I hugged Keith, who returned it. He handed me a neatly wrapped package.

“It's more for the baby then you. I'm just making sure you're prepared.” Keith smiled. I smiled and ripped off the wrapping paper. It was a package of diapers.

“Aw man, I haven't even thought about buying these yet” I said. I thanked Keith and hugged him once again. I went and put it into the baby's room and came back out, sitting in my spot on the couch next to Josh.

“You're looking a little haggard there Keith.” Airin said to Keith, who was sitting on the floor next to Mariah.

“I'm just a little tired. That's all.” I looked at Airin, who had concern spread across his face. Now that I actually got a look at Keith, his normally neat hair was matted and scraggy looking. His left eye had a slight dark ring under it. He did look seriously messed up. I had heard a little bit about what went on with him and Olivia. Even Brandon, who was living with the two of them, was a mean person when he was drunk.

“Well, now that Keith is here, we can sing to you off key!” Jazz said from the kitchen. It was soon followed by her starting Happy Birthday. Then, every one chimed in. I hid my face from embarrassment, but on the inside, I was laughing. Jazz put the cake down in front of me on the coffee table. I scooted myself forwards slightly. I thought about my wish and then I blew out the candles. Jazz then cut up the cake, because no one trusted anyone else except Jazz with a knife, and served up the cake. We all started to randomly chatter amongst one another. The Mariah spoke up.

“Jaws, Josh, have you two decided on any baby names?” She asked, setting her fork on her paper plate. I looked over at Josh, who had just put a forkful of cake in his mouth.

“We've talked about some names.” I said.

“Like what?” Marque asked.

“One of them was Phoenix. Josh picked that one.” I said. “Another was Dorian. I also really liked Jace. And Max.”

“We both, however, really liked the name Finley.” Josh added.

“I like Max the best!” Marque chirped.

“That's just because it starts with an M.” Matt said.

“I don't think you should name him Jace. You'd be an entire J family!” Mariah said.

“I was leaning more towards Finley.” Airin said. “Good Irish name.”

“I really like Dorian...and Phoenix. Oh, no, I'm really fond of Max...” Jazz said. “I love them all!”

“Honestly, we have no clue what we're going to name him. We have another 2 months to figure that out.” Josh smiled.

But, in those two months, life was going to get more, and more complicated.