Cross My Heart

I was standing in the kitchen, attempting to make something for lunch. I had never been a very good cook. I didn't inherit the cooking genes from the Baxter family. I could, however, make macaroni that was rather good. I just set the aluminum can that had my soup in it on the counter when there was a loud bang from the bedroom, followed by Airin's frustrated yell.

"GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!" Since I didn't know what he had done, I ran to the bedroom.

"What? What did you do?" I asked, a little panicked. Airin was hoping up and down on one foot while holding his other foot in his hand. He definitly was flexible. Airin bit his bottom lip and glared at the paint can that was on the ground.

"I dropped the can on my foot." Airin said. I put and hand over my chest.

"Oh, well if that's all then..." I said. I had asked Airin to move all the paint cans to the other side of the room. I was still fighting a heinous flu, and it was really difficult for me to pick something up. My arms had gotten fairly weak, like they always did when I was sick. I always got sick a few days after Ellaries Dollhouse got off tour, or after we had finished recording an album. It also didn't help that Keith was sick, so he possibly gave that to me. "I'm making some soup, do you want any?" I asked, turning my head back to the kitchen, trying to listen to see if the soup was bubbling.

"Ah...no, I think I'm okay." Airin said. I nodded and walked back into the kitchen. As soon as I put the spoon in the pot, another loud bang, accompanied by Airin yelling, sounded from the bedroom.

"FUCK ME SILLY!" I couldn't help but laugh. Airin had a tendancy to say that when things weren't going his way.

"What did you do now?" I called to him.

"I stubbed my fucking toe, on the fucking bed, and now I think my fucking toe is fucking bleeding!" Airin was obviously pissed off with everything in world at that moment. Even on a good day, he didn't swear that much. "I HATE EVERYTHING!"

"Maybe you should take a break?" I suggested. Airin limped his way out of the bedroom and aggrivatedly sat down on a chair by the table.

"I'm not doing anything until the world stops hating me." Airin said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"The world doesn`t hate you sweetie." I said, yawning slightly. Before I could even react, Airin had scooped me up in his arms, one arm hooked under my knee caps, and another around my back. "Airin, what are you doing?" I asked Airin, but not doing anything to stop him.

"You need to rest." Airin pushed himself into our room and tossed me on the bed.

"But...my soup." I said, going to crawl out of bed.

"I'll finish making it for you. I'll even bring you some." Airin smiled, walking out of the room. I smiled and crawled under the covers. I didn't even get my soup because I fell asleep almost as soon as Airin left the room.

I had a very strange dream that night. I dreamt that all of Ellaries Dollhouse was a band of pirates, and we had taken all of Marianas Trench captive. Then, it some how morphed to an old western themed place, and Matt and I were having a show down. As soon as we pull out our guns to shoot, they turn into banana's. Then, if it couldn't get any weirder, everything around us turned to jell-o, and the only way to escape the jell-o was to eat all of it. I really needed to stop being sick. I only ever had those kind of dreams when I was sick.

The next few weeks had gone by fairly quickly. Jazz and Matt had been over consistantly, occasionally bringing food with them. Josline had been over a few times, and one time she was over, she was deffinitly starting to look pregnant. Josline, as long as I had known her, had always been a real skinny person. Not anorexic skinny, but more like, if she gained even 5 pounds, you could tell. Airin poked her in the stomach at one point, which resulted in Josline smacking her brother. I found it amusing.
Josline also said that her boobs were getting bigger, not that I needed to know that, but this was Josline, and she was known to say weird things like that.

I had gotten over my flu, and was starting to feel much better. I was sitting on the couch, reading a book Jaws had lent me, when Airin walked into the apartment. "God damn it." He muttered under his breath.

"What's wrong now?" I asked, not looking up from my book.

"I...we, have to buy a wedding present." Airin said. I looked up, setting the book down on the coffee table.

"Who's getting married?" I asked. Airin tossed the white envelope at me. It was extremely neatly adressed to Airin and I. I pulled open the single sheet of paper, and looked at it. "Keith and Olivia? Holy shit, I didn't think they'd actually stay together this long." I said. I handed back the invitation to Airin.

"Me either. But hey, Keith is happy."

"But Olivia is a bitch!" I exclaimed. "And she's a whore. There! I said it. Olivia is a WHORE!" I slumped back against the couch.

"All of that aside..."Airin said. "Keith is happy with her, even if she is a whore." Airin walked into the kitchen, blabbering on about what we should get Keith and Olivia for a present. The whole time I was thinking...

When were me and Airin ever going to get married? I loved Airin so much but I remember once he told me that planning a wedding was just a waste of money, and that if two people love eachother enough, then they don't need to get married. I wanted to marry Airin so badly, but not knowing if his opinion changed or not, it was very difficult to tell if he wanted to or not. I knew that Airin was the person I wanted to be with the rest of my life, and I knew that I loved him more than humanly possible.

I was just a dreamer who's dreams rarely ever came true.