Cross My Heart

I was at a loss for words when I tried to talk to anyone about proposing to Marque. About a month had gone by since Keith and Olivia's wedding, so it was now mid-July now. I was starting to get more and more fidgity every day, and I couldn't help myself. I had this weird feeling that every one could read my mind, so I was afraid to think about anything. I was normally not like that. Marque had begun to notice my over-weirdness, but he didn't say anything about it. In a way, I was kind of thankful for that.

I told Marque I was going over to Joslines for a little while, he just nodded at me, staying focused at what was on the televison screen. I closed the apartment door behind me and started to walk to my sister's house. I would occasionally pause to look at some thing, like the sky for instance, and once on my walk, some one came up to me and asked for a picture.

I had honestly never got used to the whole being 'famous' thing. I felt like I was a normal person, who just played the occasional sold out show. When some people started to talk to me, or ask for an autograph, sometimes I would completely forget that I was part of Ellaries Dollhouse. The weirdest thing that I had expierenced was when a guy I used to go to school with saw me in Trail, and started talking to me about high school. I didn`t know who he was until about a year later. That's how bad my memory was sometimes.

I walked closer to Josline's house, and noticed that there was a car in the driveway. I was highly confused. Josline had gotten her learners after we had gotten off tour with Marianas Trench, but she didn't have enough money for a car. It didn't look like Josh's car either. I shrugged it off and walked up the steps, knocking on her door. I rocked back and forth on my feet before the door was actually opened.

"Hi Airin. What are you doing here?" Josline asked, letting me inside. I slid my feet out of my flip-flops and walked more into the house.

"What, I can't just randomly visit my pregnant sister?" I asked, hugging her a little. Josline hugged me back.

"No. You need a valid reason now." Josline smirked at me.

"Damn...oh well. I needed to talk to you any ways." I said. Josline nodded. "Who's car is that by the way?" I asked.

"Mine!" I heard an EXTREMELY familiar voice say.

"When did you get a new car mom?" I walked out into the living room. And is if out of nowhere, mom was right behind me. It scared me when she spoke.

"About a week ago." mom smiled at me. She seemed amused that she scared me. I had to bend down slightly to hug her. Josline and our mom were built similar to one another. They were both petite women. But fiesty all the same. I found it scary how much Josline and mom looked alike. People were always saying that I looked IDENTICAL to dad, which, was kind of true. But Josline and mom, they did have near exact facial features.

The three of us, mom, Josline and I, all sat around talking. I had been informed that dad was currently trying to write a new novel, called "The Tales of Katie Grimms". I did enjoy my dad's novels. I didn't start reading them until I was about 15 however. The Irby Brothers triology was the first and last set of books he had written. He ended doing a lot more movies than writing. I was happy he was getting back into the writing though.

"Oh, Airin, you had something you wanted to talk to me about?" Josline asked, taking my pop can away from me. I looked between her and mom, who was sitting across from me.

"Right...umm..." I fiddled with my thumbs. Both Josline and I had nervous twitches that we had gotten from a different parent. Mom and I both had the thumb twiddle. Josline and dad had the jumpy leg. "Okay, well, you know that I love Marque, right?" I said. There was a clatter behind me. I turned around, to see Josline had dropped the popcans she had in her arms on the ground.

"Don't you DARE say you're breaking up with him!" Josline said.

"Oh, sweetie, you're not thinking about..."

"No, not, let me finish my setences before you jump to conclusions!" I said, putting my hands on the table. Josline picked up the popcans and put them on her counter, then walked back to the table.

"Well, what is it?" both Josline and mom said. It was eerie how they did that.

"Well...I wanted to...propose to Marque." I said.

"Wait...seriously?" Josline said. Mom just stared at me, looking slightly confused. I just nodded. "Well, well, well! The guy who is the biggest supporter of anti-marriage wants to get married!"

"Why the sudden change sweetheart?" Mom asked.

"For your information, Josline, I'm not aniti-marriage, I just thought that it's a big waste of money." I said, my face slightly pink. "And the sudden change is, I want to be with Marque the rest of my life." Both mom and Josline looked at one another, then at me.

"Awww!" They both said. My face burned up slightly more. "Why must my children grow up so fast?" mom sighed. "First, I learn I'm going to be a grandmother. Now, my son wants to get married." Mom proped her elbow up on the table, placing her hand on her face. "I'm getting old."

Mom had only stayed for a little while. She was actually in Vancouver to pick up out aunt, her sister, from the airport. I stayed at Josline's for a little while after that. Josline had made lunch for the two of us, and while she was cleaning up, I was sitting in one of the dining room chairs.

"So, Airin..." Josline said.

"Yeah?" I mumbled.

"Why are you suddenly maturing?" Josline asked, leaning against the kitchen counter. "I mean, you've never wanted to get married before. Why now?" I most likely looked extremely baffled at her question.

"Why?" I repeated.

"Yes, why."

"I..." I stopped. I think I forgot how to form a setence. "Don't you want to get married?" I asked.

"Yes, but I'm asking you why you want to get married now." She said. I couldn't think of an answer. Yes, I did want to marry Marque. I did love him, and I wanted to spend every minute with him. I had been with Marque longer than any other person. There had to be something there that was keeping us together.

"You know how if you took away peanut butter away from a peanut butter and jam sandwhich, it would be weird?" I paused and looked at my sister.

"I'm not following." Josline frowned.

"Okay, if you took the PB away from the J, it wouldn't be the same. It wouldn't be PB and J anymore, it would be PB, or J. And that's not right. Why separate something that's meant to be together?" Josline's face softened. She walked over to me and hugged me.

"Airin?"

"What?"

"That is one of the cutest analogies I have ever heard." She said. "I hate that you're growing up."

"I'm older than you though. I should be growing up."

"But you've always been less mature than me." She said.

"No, wait. I hate how you're growing up." I said.

"How am I...oh, wait, never mind." Josline said, placing one of her hands over her stomach. I laughed at her. It was scary how fast Josline had to grow up. I was glad I never had to be in that sort of position.

I walked back home, keeping a quick pace. For some reason, I felt energized. When I got into the apartment, Marque was still sitting on the couch, but he was now reading instead of watching TV. I kicked off my shoes and crawled up right next to Marque, burying my face in his shoulder.

"Well, some one is affectionate tonight." Marque said, closing his book.

"I'm just in a good mood tonight!" I said, kissing Marque's neck.

"I noticed that!" Marque said. "Why?"

"Why are so many people questioning my motives today?" I sighed.

"Your...motives? Do I even want to know?" Marque said.

"No...probably not." I smiled at Marque and kissed him once again.

"Okay, maybe I do want to know now." Marque said.

"No, no you don't." I said, pushing Marque over, so I was laying ontop of him. We just layed there, not even saying anything.

It was moments like that, that made me want to exist.