Cross My Heart

I was sitting in the living room, with my guitar in my hands. The months had gone by so quickly, and it was nearly the end of September. I was staring at a sheet of paper that had scribbles all over it. I always played when I was in a good mood. Some times it was terrible on tour when I was in a bad mood, which wasn't often. I never wanted to play when I was in a bad mood, so it did royally piss off the band a few times, but I stuck it out.

I don't know what had put me in such a good mood. It might of been getting the rough cut of the album back,which sounded amazing, Maybe because I had been sober for 4 years. It could of been because I was going to marry Marque. What ever it was, I was happy. Life was definitely taking a a great turn, and I was loving it. I guess you could say I was high on life.

Marque walked into the living room, and saw me sitting on the ground. “Hon, what are you doing?” He asked me, sitting down on the couch.

“Oh, I was just writing.” I said. Marque nodded.

“How's it going so far?” He asked. I showed him the piece of paper. He lopsidedly smiled at me. “That well, huh?”

“Wanna hear how it sounds so far?” I asked. Marque nodded at me, looking kind of excited. He usually was the first one to hear any new material I had written.

“When thoughts had been stored,
and memories brought to scene.
A flare has been lit,
to start up for an hour.

An almost true story appears in the mind,
to be assessed through your background.
The soul is working over time,
for the mind can have bad thoughts.”

I stopped strumming abruptly and looked at Marque. I frowned, not knowing how well it sounded. “Well?”

“I say, I'm going to have to hear the finished product now.” Marque said, getting up from the couch. “Sounds really good baby.” Marque walked into the kitchen, and the returned with a glass of water. He sat back down on the couch. He set the glass down on the table. “You know, I've been thinking...”

“Oh no.” I said, setting my guitar in its case.

“No, no. It's nothing bad...” Marque started rubbing my shoulders. To be honest, I liked that...a lot.

“Mm...okay, what were you thinking?” I asked.

“Our lives are so different now.” Marque said, still rubbing my shoulders. I agreed. Life was different for us now.

“I agree, but why do you think life is different?” I asked.

“Well, 5 years ago, I said to myself, 'I'm not going to do any thing significant with my life. I'm going to have a crummy job and no one will accept me for who I am.' Now, here I am. I have one of the most amazing jobs ever, I have a fiance who I am madly in love with, and I've accomplished so much in these 5 years that I've known you.” Marque said. He stopped rubbing my shoulders momentarily to take a sip of water. “And you, Airin, have grown up so much.”

“Why does everyone keep telling me this?” I asked.

“Because you have. Airin, when I first met you, you were this loud, obnoxious guy who didn't give a shit about anything. You wanted everything to be about you, and you made sure of that by constantly being the centre of attention.” Marque said. His words rang true through my head. “But now, you have this soft, sensitive side to you. You actually care about others feelings. And you're CONSTANTLY giving people the benefit of doubt. You see the good in people, Airin. And I love it.” Marque said. He definitely knew how to make me feel better about myself. “But it's not just you who has grown up.”

“Who else is growing up?” I asked. “I know you have. But you still have that teenage sense about you.”

“I'm still 19 Airin.” Marque laughed. “But Josline, she's growing up.”

“And fast.” I said. “You know, when she first told me she was pregnant, I was honestly real upset about it. I was thinking 'she's too young to be having a baby'! Now, that I think about it, and how mature she is actually becoming, I'm happy about it. “ I said.

“Why are you happy about it? She still is really young. I don't object to it, I'm just wondering.” Marque said. I was still wondering why he never took up psychology. He was really good at getting inside peoples minds.

“Well, I don't know why I'm happy about it. I'm happy because my sister is finally growing up, and she's maturing into a wonderful young woman. And I know that she is going to love that child unconditionally.” I said.

“And what about Josh?”

I was stumped, to be honest. I had never been that close with Josh in the past. I did like the guy, and we did get along when we talked. We had a blast when we were on tour with one another. “He's...maturing?” I said, making it sound like a question. I looked up at Marque, who was looking at me quite sternly. “Okay, he is growing up, but slowly. He's still got that boyish immaturity.” I said.

“To be 100% honest, Airin. Josline hasn't grown up completely either.” I frowned. He was right. She was still a kid herself. I sighed and got up off the floor. I closed and locked my guitar case and brought it to the bedroom. It was usually where all the guitars and basses were stored. The drum set, however, was stored away in my office. Each different drum was stacked up in different cases, the cymbal's were laying flat on the floor.

I walked right into the office, turning on my computer. I didn't feel like talking about how everyone was “growing up”. I typed in my password to my account (Marque had a separate one on the computer) and waited for the page to load up. My desktop was a promo picture of Ellaries Dollhouse for the second album, well, Josline, Keith and my second album. We were Kliik a long time before Ellaries Dollhouse. It would have been Marque's first album.

Colbie used to be our bassist, until he started playing for a band called Colour Hues, who we toured with at one point. There were a few rumours as to why Colbie had left the band. One was that Colbie and Josline had a secret affair, and when they 'broke up', they hated each other, so Colbie split. Another was that Colbie and myself had a thing, and it was causing problems with Marque and I. The most ridiculous one I heard was that Colbie did no recording on the album, that Keith recorded the bass on the album, and Colbie only played live. None of the rumours were true. The real reason was that Jessica, the lead singer of Colour Hues, saw videos Colbie put up on his personal YouTube page of him playing drums. Jessica contacted Colbie and asked if he would want to be part of their band. When Colbie brought it up to the rest of us, we all agreed that it would be best for him to do that. Keith described him as a “big fish in a little pond who's trying to get to the ocean”. Probably one of the more clever things Keith had said.

I checked the bands MySpace, responding to a few comments and messages, and accepting all the friend requests. Usually, Josline or Keith would check the websites, but Josline didn't use the computer often, and apparently there were some “issues” over at Keith and Olivia's.

I was really starting to doubt Keith and Olivia's relationship. They seemed to be one the MOST dysfunctional couples ever. Olivia liked to drink, Keith didn't. Olivia was a mean drunk, and would take it out on Keith. I felt bad for the poor guy. He deserved better, but he was 'happy'. Call me crazy if I'm wrong, but black eyes and bruises are not a sign of a happy relationship.