Never Fall

“Audrey Torres, you’re up next.”

A round of applause came, from both the audience and the dancers who were warming up along the walls. Audrey, a little reluctant and nervous, stood up from her seat after an encouraging nudge from her boyfriend and descended the aisles.

After weeks of choreographing and practicing individual pieces, the day of audition finally came - the audition to be in the upcoming show and the audition to have a few student-choreographed pieces featured. Nerves ran all through the room; there were some chatter of excitement, and some of criticism.

The brunette walked over to the dance instructor and handed him the CD with her mixed track, before she ascended the stage and took center. She addressed the audience and presented the name of her routine, feeling her heart nearly leap out of her chest at the added unfamiliar faces watching her. It was one of those auditions: the open ones where anyone could enter and watch the dancers.

She then turned her back to them and took her place, trying to take in slow, even breaths to calm herself. When the music started, she took her first step and from there, her audition slot passed by in a blur. She didn’t think about how to move her body- just what part of the song came up next; her body moved effortlessly, the audience practically nonexistent. She wanted that lead role, she was to become that lead role.

Kayla watched from the side stage as she sat on the floor, stretching her legs. The music Audrey had chosen was calm and peaceful, and Kayla found herself getting lost listening to the piano. She couldn’t deny that it was a good piece- a very good piece. Audrey was an excellent dancer and that proves to be a challenge to Kayla, a threat.

An even deadlier threat to Kayla’s world.

Once the song ended, Audrey took a bow as another round of applause came and voices raised in what could only be heard as positive criticism. The small brunette wore a wide grin as she ran back to her seat and sat down, a suppressed squeal eliciting through her throat as her boyfriend gave her a congratulatory kiss.

“Next: Lacey Marchand.”

Kayla tore her eyes away from the couple with a small smile and a shake of her head, before patting the leg of the younger girl sitting next to her. “Break a leg- but not literally.” She chuckled, and the other girl stuck out her tongue.

“Don’t jinx me,” Lacey grunted and pushed herself off the floor before heading over to the dance instructor.

Done with her stretches, Kayla got up as well and returned to the rows of seats, taking a seat right in the front row. As she watched the other girls go up before her, the anxiety began to build up instead of her. But she tried not to let it show. She’s done auditions before; this was nothing new. She could do it.

Soon enough, her name was called and her heart had nearly skipped a beat. Taking in a shaky breath, she got up and handed over her CD. She took slow and precise steps to the stage, acknowledging the audience before she waited for her cue. It’d be easy, it’d be a breeze. It’d be over before she knew it.

But it didn’t. It must’ve been the longest two minutes of her life. Kayla had started off well - cool, calm, collected, confident. But then she began to become aware of everyone and everything - even of her own thoughts, and the slightest distraction she could hear over the music threw her off. She just couldn’t concentrate- she hadn’t been able to for days, weeks, months.

It first started out as a missed beat and a missed step - nothing she couldn’t cover up, but even that slowly turned into visible stumbles as she began to forget the parts of her own choreography. It’s nothing they haven’t seen in a beginner, if that beginner was taught the routine only the morning prior. What came next brought her down completely. She wasn’t exactly sure what or how it happened, but it all happened too fast. She was falling and couldn’t get her footing. It was impossible to cover up as fell on her bottom, the confusion clear on her face as she went into a floor roll to pick herself back up. That was all that she could do: pick herself back up.

As much as she wanted to stop right on the spot and walk out, she couldn’t. She had to carry on until the end.

By the time the song had ended, her cheeks had flushed red and her heart hung at the bottom of her chest. She took a bow as a few people clapped but dared not to look at anyone but her dance instructor, whose face held a look of surprise, disappointment, and sympathy. That alone was enough to push forward the tears but she held them back, her skin breaking out in a sweat as she rushed back to her seat.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Kayla heard Lacey whisper to her as her hand met with her back in a consoling manner when she sat down. “You did your best.”

Kayla shook her head, keeping quiet as she began to immediately pack her stuff with shaky hands. She didn’t want to hear the sympathy; she failed and she knew it, and she didn’t need to stick around to hear any more of it. She got up and quietly tried to slip out of the room while everyone else still had their attention on the next dancer.

The man’s brown eyes had never left that small girl since she got off the stage. In fact, he kept a close eye on her. He watched her fallen expression, the slouch in her figure as she sat, her erratic movements as she tried to pack her things as quickly as she could. He also did not fail to see the quick wipe of her eyes as she exited the building. He felt sad, really; no one needed to see her in that light.

“I’ll be right back,” he whispered to the brunette next to him and without another word, got up, silently exiting the building after the other girl. He found the auburn-haired girl quickly, picking up his pace in a light jog to catch up with her. “Kayla!” he called to get her attention.

Kayla barely glanced over her shoulder, though she could’ve recognized that voice anywhere. Mouthing a curse to herself, she kept on walking towards her car. “Just go back inside,” she called over her shoulder, wiping her face clear of any fallen tears. After years and years of friendship, she knew it wasn’t going to be that easy to get rid of him.

The man reached a hand out to her, holding onto her arm as he slowed down. “No. I wanted to talk to you.”

Kayla came to a stop abruptly with a small stomp in her step, turning around to face him. “What is it, Caleb?” She tried to sound strong, but a small crack came to her voice as his name left her lips. She looked up at him, her vision slightly blurry. “You can’t leave me alone right now?”

Caleb wasn’t used to hearing this bitter tone from her, he wasn’t used to receiving this sort of attitude from her either. But it didn’t take a genius to figure out that she’s upset, and he knew this would be one of the few times she’d ever act like this. “I don’t want to,” he replied to her, his hands on both of her shoulders now. “I wanted to see if you’re okay, after... in there--”

“I’m fine.” She shrugged his hands off with a crooked smile- a smile meant to assure him that she was fine but her eyes said otherwise. “I’m fine, so you can just go back in there.” She went over to the passenger side of her car, pulling the door open with force as she began to put her bags away.

The redhead placed his hand on the car, resting against it as he watched the frustration practically seep out of her. “I’m not letting you in the car until you talk to me.”

“Nice to know you still care,” she mumbled with a bitter laugh to herself, but he had heard it all. “Just leave me alone.” She shoved the last of her bags in and closed the door, turning around. She made an attempt to go around him to get to the driver’s side, but he was there, making every attempt possible to block her way. “Fuck, damnit, Caleb,” she sighed in frustration, ready to just push past through him.

“You really thought I don’t care?” He raised his eyebrows, looking down at her. “Now I’m going to ask one more time,” he stated in a firmer, yet softer voice. “Are you or are you not okay? Tell me what’s going through your head.”

Kayla sucked in a deep breath, giving up. “Of course I’m not okay.” Her voice trembled, a small hiccup as she took in another breath. She looked up at him, her hazel eyes looking directly into his brown ones. For the first time in months, a real confrontation. “I just- I just humiliated myself in front of everyone- these strangers, you, the entire class. How can you even think of asking if I’m okay?” She fought hard to hold back the tears, her face burning immensely once again.

Caleb was briefly caught at a loss for words as he tried to formulate a reply- anything. He tried to comprehend what was happening, what he was doing there, what was going on in her mind. This heavy set of emotions coming from her, he knew there had to be something more. He knew her to be much stronger than that; one little audition couldn’t break her.

“I just- I don’t understand.” He shook his head. “This- that--” his mouth tried to form the right words, “y-you’ve never done that before. This has never happened.” His words, furthermore proving her failure, had caused the tears to begin to fall as she tried to furiously to wipe them away with shaky fingers. He pulled her closer to him, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. “What’s going on that you’re not telling me?”

“I don’t know,” she practically bellowed, pushing herself away from him. “I really don’t know!” She began to cry, growing increasingly angry at herself for doing so. “It’s just- I-I haven’t been- I can’t concentrate. On anything. For the past God-knows-how-long. I don’t know what to think or do or even what’s going on in my life anymore.”

Caleb’s expression held a sullen look as he listened and watched her, trying to figure out ways to comfort her. It’s been a while that he just knew there was a certain line that he shouldn’t cross. But so badly did he want to just comfort her like he used to.

“Come on, Kay,” he spoke softly, arms readily open for her. “What’s messing with your head?” She’s always been a straight-thinker.

Kayla shook her head quickly, wiping her nose. “I can’t tell you that anymore.” Swiftly, she slipped past him and went over to the driver’s side, pulling the door open quickly. Before she got in though, she paused and looked back at her childhood best friend, her cheeks still stained with tears. The way his eyebrows pulled up together in hurt and confusion at her words, made her almost want to run back into his arms. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, before getting into her car.

Caleb moved out of the way as she backed out of the parking space. Worry coursed all through his veins as he watched her disappear. There was a time when he was ready to accept that their friendship was done, and there was a time when he was ready to believe that she was doing fine without him. But at this moment, he wasn’t ready to accept any of that anymore.

He thought that he could stay away from her; he thought that they could both continue on and just accept things for the way they are. He was wrong, stupidly wrong for ever thinking that this was a friendship he could leave behind so easily. How could he ever leave behind the sixteen year bond with that girl?