It's Our Choice
003
“Hey baby.” John grinned, caressing my cheek as I woke up. “Sleep better?”
I yawned and nodded my head. A small smile toyed on my lips as I turned to face him. “How about you darling?”
“Never better.” he said, kissing my temple. “We should start packing our stuff up. Get back on the road.”
With a sigh, I agreed with him, slowly stretching my body and placing my feet on the ground. I heard John walking towards our suitcases that were piled by the front door. Slowly, I trudged towards the bathroom and stripped my pajamas off, waiting for John to walk in with my clothes.
“Did you turn my phone back on?” I called out as I turned the tap on and splashed cold water onto my face.
“I thought we agreed that it wasn’t going to go back on.” he said as he walked into the bathroom and handed me a pair of jeans and a top.
“Bra, undies?” I asked, laying the clothes out on the counter, he left the bathroom, returning a moment later so I continued. “And, no. We didn’t agree on that. I would like to get on touch with a few people back home. Let them know we’re okay.”
“We can call them from a pay phone or something. If we turn your cell phone on your parents will be able to track us. You don’t want them to find us to you?” he asked.
I turned and glared at him. “What the fuck was the point of me bringing my damned cell phone if you’re not even going to let me turn it on?”
“I don’t know,” he groaned, pulling his boxers off and quickly turning on the shower.
“I thought we were leaving.” I pointedly said.
“We both could use a shower. You’re stressed, the warm water will feel good on your muscles.” he cooed, pulling me into his arms and kissing my temple. I shoved him off me.
“I don’t want to take a shower. God, why do you always have to control me?”
“I’m not trying to control you!” he exclaimed, holding me at arms length. “What the hell is your problem all of a sudden?”
“Don’t fucking touch me.” I snapped, pushing him off and quickly getting dressed.
“Read my lips O’Callaghan: You don’t control me,” I seethed as I picked up my suit case.
“God Damnit Erin!” he yelled, now fully clothed, hitting the wall with a closed fist. “Would you drop your fucking suit case for one damned second?”
I glared at him as I kept my grip on the bag. “What? What do you want to say now? It’ll all be okay? Oh whatever. Get out of my way.” I tried to push past him, but he grabbed my shoulders tightly.
“Erin, just stop.” he said, pressing his forehead against mine. “What’s wrong?” he asked, his breath tickling my face.
“This whole idea is dumb.” I told him, trying to move my arms, “Do you really think that we can do this? No. we can’t. this was stupid. Just let me go. I want to go home.”
“You think your mother is going to let you back in her house?” he hissed. “Do you remember what she said to you when you told her that I knocked you up?”
I bit my lip and finally succeed in pushing his hands off of me. “She called before, did she not? She wants me to come back home now.”
“She’ll make you abort that baby.” he whispered.
The truth. It stung. “I know.” I whispered back. “I know.”
“But, if that’s what you want, get in the car, I’ll take you home. Turn your cell phone back on and give her a call.” he dropped his arms and ran his fingers through his brown hair. “I don’t care anymore, but if you do. This, us, we. It won’t be anymore.”
“Do you really think we’ll be able to raise a child on our own John?” I asked him, placing my hand over my small bump.
“Give me a chance Erin! We’re not even anywhere yet. Give me a second to find us a place, get a job. We’ll raise this baby and be the family that we always wanted to be.” he dropped his gaze to meet my eyes.
I bit my lip, not taking my eyes off of him. “If I give you this chance, and let’s say in two years we’re still going strong, us three. Can I call my mom then?”
“Of course.” he answered, reaching forward and grabbing my hand in his.
“And, if I give you this chance and in two more months you still don’t have a job, we still don’t have a place, I can go home?”
“I’ll take you there myself. I’ll pack your bags.” he answered.
“Let’s go find a place then.” I sighed, “you better not mess this up O’Callaghan. Cause I don’t want to have to go full term and give this baby up.”
“You wont’ have to Erin.” he answered, holding his free pinky out. “I pinky promise. I’ll do everything I can to keep you two with me, forever.”
I linked my small finger with his lanky one, a small smile playing on my lips as he leaned down to kiss me.
I yawned and nodded my head. A small smile toyed on my lips as I turned to face him. “How about you darling?”
“Never better.” he said, kissing my temple. “We should start packing our stuff up. Get back on the road.”
With a sigh, I agreed with him, slowly stretching my body and placing my feet on the ground. I heard John walking towards our suitcases that were piled by the front door. Slowly, I trudged towards the bathroom and stripped my pajamas off, waiting for John to walk in with my clothes.
“Did you turn my phone back on?” I called out as I turned the tap on and splashed cold water onto my face.
“I thought we agreed that it wasn’t going to go back on.” he said as he walked into the bathroom and handed me a pair of jeans and a top.
“Bra, undies?” I asked, laying the clothes out on the counter, he left the bathroom, returning a moment later so I continued. “And, no. We didn’t agree on that. I would like to get on touch with a few people back home. Let them know we’re okay.”
“We can call them from a pay phone or something. If we turn your cell phone on your parents will be able to track us. You don’t want them to find us to you?” he asked.
I turned and glared at him. “What the fuck was the point of me bringing my damned cell phone if you’re not even going to let me turn it on?”
“I don’t know,” he groaned, pulling his boxers off and quickly turning on the shower.
“I thought we were leaving.” I pointedly said.
“We both could use a shower. You’re stressed, the warm water will feel good on your muscles.” he cooed, pulling me into his arms and kissing my temple. I shoved him off me.
“I don’t want to take a shower. God, why do you always have to control me?”
“I’m not trying to control you!” he exclaimed, holding me at arms length. “What the hell is your problem all of a sudden?”
“Don’t fucking touch me.” I snapped, pushing him off and quickly getting dressed.
“Read my lips O’Callaghan: You don’t control me,” I seethed as I picked up my suit case.
“God Damnit Erin!” he yelled, now fully clothed, hitting the wall with a closed fist. “Would you drop your fucking suit case for one damned second?”
I glared at him as I kept my grip on the bag. “What? What do you want to say now? It’ll all be okay? Oh whatever. Get out of my way.” I tried to push past him, but he grabbed my shoulders tightly.
“Erin, just stop.” he said, pressing his forehead against mine. “What’s wrong?” he asked, his breath tickling my face.
“This whole idea is dumb.” I told him, trying to move my arms, “Do you really think that we can do this? No. we can’t. this was stupid. Just let me go. I want to go home.”
“You think your mother is going to let you back in her house?” he hissed. “Do you remember what she said to you when you told her that I knocked you up?”
I bit my lip and finally succeed in pushing his hands off of me. “She called before, did she not? She wants me to come back home now.”
“She’ll make you abort that baby.” he whispered.
The truth. It stung. “I know.” I whispered back. “I know.”
“But, if that’s what you want, get in the car, I’ll take you home. Turn your cell phone back on and give her a call.” he dropped his arms and ran his fingers through his brown hair. “I don’t care anymore, but if you do. This, us, we. It won’t be anymore.”
“Do you really think we’ll be able to raise a child on our own John?” I asked him, placing my hand over my small bump.
“Give me a chance Erin! We’re not even anywhere yet. Give me a second to find us a place, get a job. We’ll raise this baby and be the family that we always wanted to be.” he dropped his gaze to meet my eyes.
I bit my lip, not taking my eyes off of him. “If I give you this chance, and let’s say in two years we’re still going strong, us three. Can I call my mom then?”
“Of course.” he answered, reaching forward and grabbing my hand in his.
“And, if I give you this chance and in two more months you still don’t have a job, we still don’t have a place, I can go home?”
“I’ll take you there myself. I’ll pack your bags.” he answered.
“Let’s go find a place then.” I sighed, “you better not mess this up O’Callaghan. Cause I don’t want to have to go full term and give this baby up.”
“You wont’ have to Erin.” he answered, holding his free pinky out. “I pinky promise. I’ll do everything I can to keep you two with me, forever.”
I linked my small finger with his lanky one, a small smile playing on my lips as he leaned down to kiss me.