Status: Comments = Way More Updates. Pinky Promise.
Finding Myself
eight.
The school parking lot was fairly empty at the time we arrived this morning, but when the afternoon strolled around and Matt decided he wanted to take me to a restaurant for lunch it was pretty crowded. I felt nervous walking through the parking lot because of all the kids sitting in their cars, watching us. I felt strange with this beautiful boy, walking with me, of all girls.
“Where did you feel like going?” Matt asked taking my hand and leading me to his truck. I got several glares from girls in the parking lot. I ignored them and tightened my grip on his hand. I looked at Matt’s expressions and he had a smug smile, “Not even a hint? Ok then, be that way, I’ll choose,” I shook my head because I didn't want to choose and looked down at the gravel parking lot. He opened the passenger door for me and I hopped into his truck. He closed the door and I shrugged my coat off. His door opened and his face had a concerned look. “Are you ok?” he asked.
I felt like shrugging myself deep into the crevice of his truck seats. “No, I’m ok. Thanks,” I attempted to sound convincing. From the sudden expression and sigh he gave me, I knew he wasn’t buying it. “I don’t get why you like me this much..." I felt stupid saying it aloud in front of him. I felt my stomach flutter with butterflies. “I mean I love that you like me and all…”
Matt’s expression turned sad, “so you’re sad because you think I...?” I can tell that this upset him and he was confused as to what I was trying to say. “You’re right, I don't,” he said serious, looking straight outside the window at the girls across the lot. “If I wanted I could’ve bugged them for a date… but with you, I don't know, you attracted me like no one else could. How come you can't accept that I like you and let me in finally?” he asked. I looked at him in slight disbelief.
“I didn't mean to shut everyone out, and now especially you, just bad timing I guess..” he put his index finger to my lips.
“Jacey, just trust me,” he said smug. “I know what you've been through, and if it takes time for you to open up to me, then it will take time. I can wait for as long as you want me to wait.”
“See that’s what I don’t get. What’s so special about me?” I asked. I guess I was feeling a bit guilty for putting this all on him now…but I could tell he was being truthful and I believed him.
“Your beautiful.”
I felt my insides twist and I felt like I had a million dollars in my pocket and felt silly for even arguing, about me. “thanks…I’m sorry.” I felt stupid.
“Don’t feel sorry, I like you because, for, well obvious reasons…one, you’re a girl…you can confirm that right?” he said teasingly.
“You know, you are a terrible joker. No more jokes for you,” I touched his hand. It was then that I realized I was much closer to him and that I had one leg on the seat and was facing him. He was faced towards me too both feet on the floor but still facing me, I gulped, “I’m just realizing this, but I know like you now.”
“Really? That means a lot to me,” he smiled and interlocked our hands.
“And I’m willing to overlook Saturdays rejection, I’m sorry for that too, honest.” I felt my cheeks go hot and he smiled.
“I’m going to have to think about that,” he smiled, “joking.”
I bit my bottom lip and he leaned in…I whispered, “Thanks, for everything.” our noses touched and my lips were suddenly aching for his and he raised his free hand to grab the back of my head. And we shared our most passionate kiss today.
“You’re welcome, my lady.”
“Where did you feel like going?” Matt asked taking my hand and leading me to his truck. I got several glares from girls in the parking lot. I ignored them and tightened my grip on his hand. I looked at Matt’s expressions and he had a smug smile, “Not even a hint? Ok then, be that way, I’ll choose,” I shook my head because I didn't want to choose and looked down at the gravel parking lot. He opened the passenger door for me and I hopped into his truck. He closed the door and I shrugged my coat off. His door opened and his face had a concerned look. “Are you ok?” he asked.
I felt like shrugging myself deep into the crevice of his truck seats. “No, I’m ok. Thanks,” I attempted to sound convincing. From the sudden expression and sigh he gave me, I knew he wasn’t buying it. “I don’t get why you like me this much..." I felt stupid saying it aloud in front of him. I felt my stomach flutter with butterflies. “I mean I love that you like me and all…”
Matt’s expression turned sad, “so you’re sad because you think I...?” I can tell that this upset him and he was confused as to what I was trying to say. “You’re right, I don't,” he said serious, looking straight outside the window at the girls across the lot. “If I wanted I could’ve bugged them for a date… but with you, I don't know, you attracted me like no one else could. How come you can't accept that I like you and let me in finally?” he asked. I looked at him in slight disbelief.
“I didn't mean to shut everyone out, and now especially you, just bad timing I guess..” he put his index finger to my lips.
“Jacey, just trust me,” he said smug. “I know what you've been through, and if it takes time for you to open up to me, then it will take time. I can wait for as long as you want me to wait.”
“See that’s what I don’t get. What’s so special about me?” I asked. I guess I was feeling a bit guilty for putting this all on him now…but I could tell he was being truthful and I believed him.
“Your beautiful.”
I felt my insides twist and I felt like I had a million dollars in my pocket and felt silly for even arguing, about me. “thanks…I’m sorry.” I felt stupid.
“Don’t feel sorry, I like you because, for, well obvious reasons…one, you’re a girl…you can confirm that right?” he said teasingly.
“You know, you are a terrible joker. No more jokes for you,” I touched his hand. It was then that I realized I was much closer to him and that I had one leg on the seat and was facing him. He was faced towards me too both feet on the floor but still facing me, I gulped, “I’m just realizing this, but I know like you now.”
“Really? That means a lot to me,” he smiled and interlocked our hands.
“And I’m willing to overlook Saturdays rejection, I’m sorry for that too, honest.” I felt my cheeks go hot and he smiled.
“I’m going to have to think about that,” he smiled, “joking.”
I bit my bottom lip and he leaned in…I whispered, “Thanks, for everything.” our noses touched and my lips were suddenly aching for his and he raised his free hand to grab the back of my head. And we shared our most passionate kiss today.
“You’re welcome, my lady.”