I'm Sorry

"Are you almost done at the studio?" my girl Jessie asked through the phone as I made my way out of the noisy building.

"We're done there. The guys and me are at the bar right now." I told her.

"What the hell Matt? You said you'd be home after you were done recording." Jessie said sounding pissed.

"The guys wanted to go out drinking and asked me to come along.." I told her, starting to regret agreeing to come along. Tonight was supposed to be for Jessie and me.

"Damn it, Matt. if you didn't want to spend tonight alone with me, you should have said so this morning instead of promising me." I could hear the anger in her voice and she has every right to be mad at me.

This morning during breakfast Jessie asked if I could come home straight from the studio so that we could spend the night together. With me in the studio a lot these days recording, Jessie and I don't get a whole lot of alone time, so when she suggested we have a nice romantic dinner then spend the evening together, alone, I promised to be there.

Instead I came to the bar with the guys who I've spent all day with. Who I'll be spending all day, every day with for the next couple months. I immediately felt guilt and even hatred at myself flow my system.

"I'll come home right now." I told Jessie, hoping to salvage the night.

"No, just forget it. I don't want to see you right now." she said hanging up before I could say anything.

Pissed at myself I walked back into the bar and pushed through everyone to get to the booth the guys and I claimed as ours tonight. I told them I was heading out but didn't explain anything to them. I just told them I'd see them tomorrow and left.

What is normally a ten minute drive home from the bar turned into a twenty minute drive due to traffic. When I pulled into our driveway I didn't see Jessie's car but she probably has it in the garage. as I walked up to the front door I noticed there were no lights on inside.

Thinking that Jessie went to bed early I went upstairs to our bedroom. She wasn't there though. I checked our guest room to see if she was in any of them but she wasn't.

Going downstairs I headed into the kitchen and got a whiff of Jessie's chicken casserole that I love. It wasn't in the oven or fridge but I found it in the trash. Hating myself I looked around the kitchen. I saw candles and wine glasses on the table. A piece of paper on the fridge caught my eye so I walked over and pulled it from under the magnet and read it.

'Gone to my sister's for the night. Don't bother calling me.'

Cursing myself out I went upstairs and took a shower. When I was done with that I pulled on a pair of basketball shorts and got into bed. I laid there just staring at the ceiling. I wanted to call Jessie so bad but I know that she wouldn't answer and talk to me. I fell asleep thinking about what an asshole I am.

xxx
-Two Days Later-

I sighed as I heard the front door snap shut. Jessie just left for work and when I heard her car leave the driveway I picked up the phone and called Brian, telling him I wasn't going to be coming into the studio today and why. He said that it was fine and he'd tell the others. When I hung up with him I grabbed a notebook off the coffee table and opened it to a clean page.

I'm going to send Jessie a bouquet of roses with a small apology poem on the card. After about ten minutes of trying to come up with something I looked down at what I wrote.

With these flowers
I hope you will see
That I truly love you
Please accept my apology

If you accept my apology
I will prove to you
How really sorry I am
And that my love is true.

It's short and simple, something Jessie will appreciate. She always liked the simple things better. Nodding my head at the words I tore the piece of paper from the book. I went upstairs to get dressed and ten minutes later I was in my car heading into town to the local florist.

When I entered the shop the lady behind the counter smiled at me and asked if she could help me with anything. I told her what I wanted and handed her the piece of paper with the poem on it. I asked if the flowers could be delivered at twelve thirty and she said it could be done. I wanted the flowers to be waiting for Jessie when she got back from lunch.

After giving the lady the address to Jessie's work I paid for the flowers and left the shop. I then drove to the grocery store. I decided to make up to Jessie by making a surprise dinner with her favorite food, ham and mashed potatoes.

After I got everything I needed I checked out and headed home. It was only about eleven thirty and Jessie doesn't get home till a little after five. After putting all the food away I decided to tidy up the house a little to kill time before I got to get started on the food. The ham will take a few hours to cook so I figured I'd put that in at about two o'clock.

The hours seemed to fly by and it's now a quarter to five meaning Jessie will be home in like thirty minutes. The ham was done and sliced, the potatoes cooked and mashed. I was just waiting for the biscuits to get done.

Earlier I had taken a blanket out back and opened it up on the ground, placing four of our Tiki torches in the ground at the corners. I thought we could eat outside since it's a nice night. I had plates, silverware, glasses and everything else we needed already spread out on the blanket.

Checking on the biscuits I saw that they were done so I pulled them from the oven and placed them in a breadbasket. Taking them and the potatoes outside I put the on the blanket then went back in to get the ham and wine, which I had put in a wine bucket with ice so that it'll stay chilled.

After that I went in to make sure that I had everything. As I was checking I heard Jessie's car pull into the driveway. I stood in the kitchen waiting for her to come in and a minute later I heard the front door open and close. Then I heard the sound of Jessie's heels clicking on the hardwood floor as she made her way to the kitchen.

She came in carrying the flowers I sent her. When she saw me standing there her eyes locked with mine and we just stared at each other for a moment before she spoke.

"Matt, I ..." she started as she put the flowers on the table. I cut her off.

"I know that I hurt you and I am so sorry. please forgive me?" I asked her. She looked me in the eye like she was searching for something. Then after a few seconds I saw a small smile make it's way to her lips.

"Of course I forgive you." she said and I walked over to her and pulled her into a big hug. "But don't do it again." she told me pulling away from the hug slightly to look up at me.

"I won't." I said and leaned down to capture her lips in a small but sweet kiss. Pulling away with a smile I grabbed her hand and led her to the back door. "Come on."

"What?" she asked when we stepped out onto the deck.

"Close you eyes." I told her to which she did. "I'm going to pick you up so don't freak." she giggled as I lifted her into my arms. I carried her over to the blanket making sure she kept her eyes closed.

"What's going on?"

"It's a surprise." When I reached the blanket I placed her back on her feet. I stood behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist and whispered in her ear that she could open her eyes. She let out a tiny gasp and turned in my arms to face me.

"To make up for the dinner I flaked out on." I told her shrugging my shoulders a little. Jessie smiled and wrapped her arms around my neck pulling my down for a kiss.

"I love it." she said softly against my lips. Kissing her again I led her onto the blanket and we both sat down.

"I made your favorite. Ham and mashed potatoes."

Jessie's eyes widened a little and I knew why. She knows that I don't like cooking anything that takes more than ten minutes to make. So for me to cook a ham and make mashed potatoes proves just how sorry I am.

The evening went great. We spent a couple hours eating and talking before we went inside and spent the rest of the night in bed.

I'm so happy that Jessie forgives me. I hate when she's upset but it nearly kills me when it's me that makes her upset.