Soria Girl

It was only a few days since we moved, and I was already caught up with all my old friends. Aliyah and Crash were fresh out of elementary school, and they were about to enter seventh grade.

My neighbor, Travis - the kid who carried me away instantly after my mom was shot; freakin’ awesome - was almost twenty-one, and in the military. All my life he was like a big brother, and then when I found out he was in the military in sixth grade, I admired him even more. Travis was even coming back home for his twenty-first birthday.

Another neighbor, Kobe – the one in the fort with me and Crash – was only eight when I left, and he idolized me. Now he was about a decade old and still loved me. The kid was so happy and positive, and a lot of the time, we were polar opposites. But whenever I was wound up, he wound me down, and we balanced perfectly.

Life was good. Sometimes all you need in the world is an old friend to remind you of how awesome being a kid was.

Travis’s parents invited us to his twenty-first birthday party the day after we arrived, and I was ecstatic for the first time in a long time. I looked forward to it all week, and when it finally came around, it was awesome, even with all the hype surrounding it.

The Spencer twins, me, Kobe, Dad, Travis (duh), and a bunch of other people were at his house, congratulating him on his two-and-one-tenths decades of existence. The party started around six, and we were all chatting like the old friends we were.

Travis was only twenty when I left – kind of fresh out of high school, and fresh into the army. He was here with a spiffy crew cut that displayed his navy eyes, still shining like I had remembered them.

“Here’s the birthday boy!” Travis’s mom cheered, throwing her arms around her son’s neck with tears in her eyes.

He smiled genuinely and just said, “Yeah, that’s me.”

He was just the right kind of person who should be serving the country, I thought. He looked after the younger kids in the neighborhood and served as a role model, but something seemed a little different that night.

Travis walked over to me, smirked, and ruffled my hair. “Soria!” he said, giving me a big bear hug. “How’s it been?”

“Fine,” I beamed, “but it’s been real long since I was here.”

Travis bent down so we were at eye level, and now I could see the difference. “A lot has changed. But you gotta adapt. I know you can do that.”

This was no longer the shaggy-haired kid who I idolized and had a tiny little crush on. In fact, Travis Wolfe wasn’t a kid at all.

He was a man.

Another thought echoed in my head - what else changed? Suddenly, Kobe grabbed my arm and led me outside where fireworks were cracking from all of Travis’s high school buddies shooting drunken fireworks. “Look!” he pointed up, and the lights exploded.

Flashes of red, yellow, white, blue, and green shot into the sky, streaking across the horizon and lighting up the stars. I stood, mouth agape for maybe two seconds before Kobe tugged at my shirt.

“Wait a minute…where were you all year anyway?”

I sighed. “I was on a long vacation.”

“Oh.”

He went over to grab a drink, nodding as he did so. He used to be a shrimp - scrawny and short with fierce red hair that matched his personality. Now he was just…more than that, I guess. His hair darkened, growing to his ears and he was almost as tall as me now. Unlike the kid who I could nearly accurately call a little brother a year ago, he wasn’t always talking my ear off. Maybe it was the occasion, or all the events that just happened, but he was just…quiet.

I would have never guessed it was Kobe if it weren’t for the way he smiled with the final multicolored flower blasted off. Orange, yellow, and red particles fled away from a green center, brighter than the moon. The Spencer twins rushed past me suddenly, Aliyah chasing Crash around the yard.

“Boy, get back here!”

Crash laughed, his braids flying against the wind. At least they seemed the same - still carrying the ever-burning flame of sibling rivalry. They could fight and scream at each other all they wanted, but they’d still be known as the Spencer twins who loved each other.

They were always polar opposites, too, and that wasn’t any different. Aliyah could make a room feel brighter, saying hi and smiling at anyone who wasn’t already talking. Crash was always silent, thinking through his decisions and outsmarting anyone who defied him.

But they were all different that night, not just because they got haircuts or got taller or whatever.

Kobe, Crash, Aliyah, and Travis grew up.

They didn’t just grow older.

All the noise blurred into my ears, morphing together as unintelligible stutters. These kids were different than the ones I could once call my best friends. And I…I was…just Soria Atkinson.

Just a kid.

Still a little girl.

And I’d always just be little Soria girl. Still the kid who never lets anyone in, still the kid who writes weird crap, and still the kid who’s got sky-high dreams. Get real, they’d all say.

Yeah, I was still a kid.

And my old friends…well, they were young adults now.

The night sky would be hypnotizing if I were still in Claymore. I could see it: Me and Ren and Luke and Brendan sitting at the jungle gym, talking about the stars…man, we loved the stars. If we had the technology, we’d hold a tour on the moon.

And me – I’d be writing about more normal things that a normal teen would. Crushes. Slapstick happiness. Stars? If I could, yeah.

Here, I was writing about the anger toward my dad. Not hate. Just anger. He was like a dog. He’d get into a mess and you’d look at him for a second, thinking about how dumb he is, then you’ll remember he doesn’t know any better.

‘Cause he doesn’t.

It’s not his fault, though.

It never was. In a way, it might have always been mine.

Always, I’d been that skeptical kid who did double takes at weird looking people. People who met me at first would never guess that I had a bad habit of judging. But Dad’s known me since I was born. He knows how badly I can hurt others with words. Sometimes I hurt him.

I never mean to.

It’s mostly accidental.

I just do.

And I realize I sound like a brat here, but if you knew where I was coming from and everything that had passed through my head, you’d understand. You’d still think I’m a brat, but at least you’d understand.

I thought I belonged here for a little while. I thought this was my home. So I was right to resent my dad the night I was told we were moving. The truth was, I didn’t fit in here. Maybe if I stayed for the year, I’d grow with them more and I wouldn’t feel so weird.

But I came a year too late. And like a gazillion other events, their changes were sprung upon me. At the moment, I missed Claymore more than ever. The sun wasn’t out, but I still felt heat beat down on my back like it was…but the tips of my fingers were freezing as if it were Christmas.

I’d only been in Santa Monica for not even a month. It was mid-June. I felt a sore spot in my soul, vacant from my dad ripping Claymore away. For God’s sake, I could have been chilling with Ren and Luke and Brendan back there, living it up and enjoying summer. But here I was in the place I once called home, dreading summer because I didn’t belong.

Everything changed but I stayed the same. Would I ever win? And then…what was changing back in Claymore? Were my old friends changing? Could I grow up? Was I growing up right now? Did I grow up already?

What’s really going on?

Was this my wake-up call?

Why was I asking all these questions?

It’s not like I’d ever know the answers.

- - -

I hung inside for a while where it was cool and dry, but then decided on going back outside where there were less people. I was starting to get a headache.

Travis had a back porch made of wood with old benches built in. The wood was old and warped, though it’d suffice. I just needed to sit down.

“Hey!”

My head darted upward to the source of the voice. It was Travis, in cargo shorts and a Blunder Armor shirt, paired with sandals. He was walking toward me, a Fountain Dew in each hand. When he got close enough he tossed one to me and I almost dropped it.

The birthday boy sat down next to me, the wood creaking under both of our weights. I flinched because I was paranoid that it would break; he thought it was because of him.

“What? I don’t bite,” he laughed.

I smiled up at him the best I could, but I didn’t speak.

Travis yawned and took a drink of soda. Then he squeezed my shoulder and laughed again. “Dude, you know how many people have come up to me and asked if you’re my sister?”

I looked at him funny. “What? How many?”

“A lot. So I just told ‘em all, ‘Almost.’”

“So I’m almost your sister?”

Travis let his arm hang around my shoulder nonchalantly. “Sor, you know when you were born, I was the only kid in this freakin’ neighborhood.”

“Uh huh.”

“I was eight, yeah. Man, I was a kid. I wanted someone to play with. Eight year olds wanna play, right?” he elbowed me.

I laughed a little. “Heh. Yeah.”

“I was so excited I was gonna have someone to play with,” he added.

Dude, in half of my old home videos, when I was real young, Travis was in the background. We both even had blond hair and blue eyes. Everybody thought we were siblings.

“My folks raised me to think of you as my sister. And your parents raised me like I was theirs.”

I felt a tingle in my stomach. “Sh’yeah.”

“No matter how old you get I can’t help but look at you like you’re still my baby sister,” he assured, squeezing me tighter. Damn it, I couldn’t wriggle free from his hug, just like old times.

“Aww,” I smiled.

“Now tell me why you’re not talkin’ to anyone,” he commanded, staring me down with aqua eyes.

I shrugged, smirking sheepishly. “I dunno, I mean, I was gone for a year. I kinda missed out on a lot.”

Travis smiled again. “Not talking to anybody won’t solve that,” he said, poking my side. I pushed his hand away because that was a secret tickle spot that only him and a select few other people knew about.

He did it again.

I grabbed his hand and tried to keep it away, but he just kept on laughing and making more attempts to poke me. It had just occurred to me that I wasn’t just trying to defend myself from Ren – a skinny kid. I was fending myself against Travis Wolfe, a kid who just got back from military service.

He overpowered me, but instead of tickling me anymore, he just grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into a ginormous bear hug. God. It had been so long since I was in an embrace like that – warm and comforting. Only he could do that.

“So you miss where you were?” he asked softly, resting his chin on my head.

I sighed. “Yeah, Claymore was the shizz.”

I felt him smile. “I didn’t think you’d wanna stay there. I remember when you first moved, you were so pissed off,” he laughed.

I did the same, smiling at the past. “That was before I got there and met the awesomest dudes ever.”

“What, so I’m not awesome?”

“Aw, a’course you are, man,” I elbowed him. “But at least with the guys in Claymore I could think of them as cute without feeling incestuous.”

He snickered. “Now don’t tell me my little girl’s out there kissing boys, or else I’m gonna be really mad.”

I blushed, thinking of Ren, which caused a silence.

“Soria? S…oh my God. Don’t tell me,” Travis beamed, “you got a boyfriend.”

“Well, he’s not really my boyfriend…” I whispered. “Dude, we’re on opposite sides of the country.”

“That’s long distance, kid, that still counts.”

I went quiet, realizing my defeat.

Travis gripped me harder. “Can’t believe my baby girl’s out there getting cooties,” he smiled.

“God, you sound like my dad,” I laughed. “And I never kissed him. Well…he kissed me on the cheek, but….”

“So? It still counts.”

I blushed.

Travis rested his head on my shoulder, still locking me in his embrace. “Listen, if this kid ever breaks your heart, just let me know and I’ll kick his ass.”

I sighed, unable to force Ren out of my mind. “Good to know, Trav.”

“Seriously! Anybody who does that, tell me. I’ll be halfway across the world in a millisecond for you.”

A chill went up my spine. I couldn’t hold back a smile as all the memories came back to me. I wrestled out of his grip and punched his shoulder. “You’re just a big softie.”

I stood in front of him and he put his hands on my waist, puffing out his lower lip. “Don’t go.”

“But I gotta be back by 9:30,” I told him, looking down the street at my house.

Travis gave me basset hound eyes. It was like looking in a mirror. Then he hugged me again. “Alright, I’ll let you leave. But you gotta swear to let me know if that kid ever breaks your heart. I’ll friggin’ get a plane wherever you are and kick his ass if he does.”

I let go and he stood up, way taller than me. He smiled down at me before he added, “I love you like we’re blood, kid. I’ll see you around.”

“Cheesewad,” I teased, poking his stomach. Last time I did that, his tummy was squishier.

“Seriously,” he sighed, the smile fading, “I do.”

I beamed up at him. “I love you too, brah.”