Soria Girl

At first, I thought it was pretty damn cool that I didn’t have to worry about Michael coming onto me. No more pressure, right? I mean, come on! I didn’t even like the kid like that in the first place. A huge burden was being lifted off my shoulders.

Well…kind of.

He was still in the picture, big time. This kid was now my best male friend (in Santa Monica, anyways). Unlike Crash who sat in that place before, he wasn’t afraid to speak up. He was the one who initiated things – he wasn’t shy. We’d go to the movies or something on weekends just as friends, and we were pretty close, really.

I had to wonder if I was doing the right thing. What if I was just keeping my feelings for Ren for nothing? What if Ren ends up screwing some other girl and leaving me behind anyway? What if I lose all contact with him and never see him again? Then who’ll be the one there? We were separated by pretty much the entire country. Even through the limited contact we did have, we still didn’t keep up with one another too much.

But Mike was there for me. If I had a problem or was pissed off about something, I could vent to him whenever. I couldn’t do that with Ren or any of the other guys. Though it wasn’t their fault that I couldn’t…

Should I have kept up and just went with Mike? Or was there even a little chance of seeing Ren again and being with him? I didn’t know. I’d never had dudes in my life that were romantically interested. I was clueless about that shit.

So who could I consult? I had to think about it for a day or two, but after eliminating my dad, Ren’s mom, and everyone else from that list, I had an idea.

I’d write Travis.

I mean, come on! He was twenty-one and all buff and stuff. He had to have some kind of clue about that kind of junk!

So the day I came to that conclusion, I began writing a letter:

Dear Travis,

Yeah, it’s Soria. I know, it hasn’t even really been that long, but I just felt like I had to write to you. I mean…I don’t know how else to say it. I’ve got boy problems.

After you rip this letter apart from reading that, tape it back together and read on, please.

You remember that boy I was telling you about on your birthday, the one who I said “wasn’t really my boyfriend”? Well…okay, first of all, he was, and…I still have feelings for him, but…there’s another guy.

I met him about a month ago in school and he’d grown to become my best friend. But then he started flirting with me and even asked me out…I didn’t tell him about the original dude. Should I have? You can tell me if I was being a dumbass. I don’t mind.

The thing is that my original crush (his name is Ren. Did I ever tell you that?) lives way across the country and I don’t even know if I’ll ever see him again. I don’t know whether to just move on and try something with the new guy (Mike) or to keep hoping that I’ll see Ren again.

The reason I’m asking you for advice is because you’re older but still able to give advice about this kind of stuff. I’m assuming you’ve been in a romantic thing, so maybe you could help me out here. Just give me some male perspective or something. And I didn’t wanna ask my dad for help because he’ll just get all suspicious…so don’t tell any of the adults, okay? Please help me.

Love,

Soria

I read it over. Yeah, it sounded desperate, but before I could catch myself, I folded it up and stuck it in an envelope, and then mailed it to the apartment in Spain that Travis was living in.

- - -

I braced myself for a response. I checked the mail every day, and every day my hopes fell a little more even though I told myself that it probably takes a while for letters to travel to and from Spain.

Maybe Travis didn’t want to answer me back. Maybe he thought I was being completely stupid about this and didn’t even deserve any kind of response. Wow. Then I’d know I’m a loser.

I was expecting a letter, of course, as anybody would. I mean, I wrote him. Why wouldn’t he do the same? Actually, I kind of liked getting hand-written letters. They were material that I could look at and feel something. Unlike a phone call or an email, they were hard to get rid of and even harder to forget.

Well, Travis called me. I didn’t bother to ask how much a long-distance phone call like that costs, but the point is, he freakin’ called our home phone. I mean, why not be a little incognito and call my cell phone?

I had looked up at the number. The caller ID said WOLFE, TRAVIS so naturally I picked it up without a second thought.

The first thing I said was, “Why the hell did you call me instead of just writing back?”

Travis responded with a rude laugh. “God, what’s up your butt? You’re lucky I’m talking to you at all about your little problem.”

“Whatever,” I grunted. “You could’ve at least called me on my cell phone.”

“And maybe get cut off by low bars or low minutes or a bad signal or something? Come on,” he bargained.

I smiled into the receiver. “You still should’ve just written a letter back.”

“Kid, they don’t make enough paper to keep up with my thoughts on this.”

Gulping from fear and biting my lip, I slipped away from the living room of my house and into my bedroom so Dad wouldn’t somehow drop in. “O…okay…”

Travis sighed heavily. “Soria…just please tell me they didn’t make any unwanted advances on you.”

“Okay, Travis.”

“And that neither of them has touched you in any way that made you uncomfortable.”

“Nobody diddled me, dude.”

“And neither of them told you –”

“Are you gonna help me at all or just question me?” I huffed, getting impatient.

He paused for a moment. “Sorry, I’m just…you took me off-guard with what you wanted advice about, Sor,” he laughed, obviously forcing it.

“I’m not six anymore, Trav.”

“Well, I know, but…it’s just a little weird. I’m not all over the idea of having you dating.”

Rolling my eyes, I said, “Yes, father.”

“Seriously! You just…have to keep a level head and know what you’re doing when you’re dealing with this kind of stuff, because men are dipshits,” he explained shyly.

“That’s why I asked you for advice.” Sitting on my bed, I pulled my legs into criss-cross formation. “I know you probably have experience with this kind of stuff.”

“Well, yeah. I’ve eaten my share of sandwiches,” he chuckled. “But I was a lot older. When I was your age I didn’t know any of the stuff kids today talk about. I didn’t know what teabagging was, or what a rim job was, or what a Filthy Sanchez was…well, I still don’t know what that is…”

If he saw the look on my face, I’m pretty sure he would’ve stopped after “teabagging.”

“You have to tell me more about this whole thing. I haven’t really seen you since you were in sixth grade,” he shrugged.

“Well…where should I start?”

“Start with the original kid you were going with.”

And I told him about Ren. “I met him on the first day of seventh grade, and since then we’d been best friends…and through the year I had a little crush on him that I thought died out a few months into the first semester.” I skipped over telling him about Luke. (No point in that. That was done, man.) “And when I moved back here, he told me he liked me and…yeah. We’ve kinda just been long distance crushes.”

Travis was quiet for a minute. “So you like each other?”

“Yeah.”

“How much do you like him?”

“A lot. I actually think there’s more than like between us, but…I don’t know. He told me a while back that he was in love with me, but then -” I started.

“WHOA. WAIT,” he spoke loudly, cutting me off. “He…he told you that?!”

“That’s what I was getting at – he took it back and just said he liked me.” I bit my lip again. Damn it, it was bleeding again. “Maybe he was scared or something.”

“Maybe he was crazy or something! Who the hell in their right mind would tell someone that when they’re barely teenagers?!” Travis ranted. “Why do you bother keeping a crush on him? Not saying it’s really a bad thing, but…I just want to know.”

“He always made me laugh,” I sighed, feeling blue again. “He was such a smartass sometimes and I kinda wanted to punch him a few times, but he was so interesting.”

“Oh.” He sucked in a breath. “Well…did you…you know…ever wanna, like…tap that?”

“Travis, I’m romantically challenged. I’m not going to give it up when I’m still in junior high.”

“I’m just asking a question!”

“No, I didn’t wanna screw him,” I said, sounding like a brat who just got grounded.

“What about the other guy?”

“What about him?”

“Was he hot? In your eyes, I mean.”

What the hell was up with him? “N—well…a little,” I shrugged, trailing off. I’d be lying if I said Mike was ugly.

“Really? Does he have a sister?”

“No, but he has a big brother.”

“Well…is his brother hot?”

“Travis, his brother is two years older than you.”

“Hey, at least I won’t be robbing the cradle!”

“He’s not g…well, actually, he is gay…”

“Does he have a nice ass?”

“Dude, we’re getting way off-topic.”

“Oh, uh…sorry.”

Huh. Maybe Kobe was right when he said Travis might like boys. Oh well.

“So how do you feel about the other kid?” he asked, getting back on track.

“Mike’s alright, really. He’s just a really great kid, honestly,” I sighed. “I don’t wanna be with him, though.”

“Well then, your problem should be solved.”

“No, ‘cause he wanted to go out with me. And even though I turned him down sometimes I can’t help but think about just trying it.”

“Do you like him as more than a friend?” he interrogated, stating the question firmly.

“No. Not at all,” I responded, telling nothing but truth. I found myself tugging at the hem of my shirt as I said it.

“Then just tell him off! Listen, kid, what you have to do is just follow your heart. If you like Ren, then just be with him.”

“But he lives in freakin’ Florida! I’m probably never gonna see him ever again!” I argued.

“Don’t say that. You thought you were never gonna see me again in sixth grade when I was stationed in Germany, but here I am,” he countered.

I stopped myself from saying something stupid. He had a point.

“If you don’t wanna be with Mike or whatever his name is, then don’t. You don’t have to be his girlfriend if you don’t feel anything for him. And if you really feel right with Ren, then stay with him. It’s simple. You can fly back to Florida and visit him and maybe move there when you get older. Who knows? Maybe you’ll get married and then make me an uncle,” Travis explained.

“Yeah,” I mumbled, just so he wouldn’t think I hung up. In truth, he was incredibly right. I wish I had that kind of wisdom…

“So I’m just gonna assume here that this isn’t gonna be the last time you’re gonna cry to me about boy troubles,” he laughed, lightening the mood.

“Probably not,” I admitted. “You’re gonna have to deal with that.”

“Hey, I don’t mind. As long as it’s not dumb shit like complaining about his hair or something.”

I snickered quietly into the phone, brushing my hair back.

“But really,” Travis continued, “does Mike’s brother have a nice ass?”

“Why the hell do you wanna know?” I sneered. Wow. Really, I was starting to think Kobe was right.

“I get lonely out here without anyone to look at,” he muttered.

“But…he’s a dude. You’re looking at dudes all the time. What’s the difference?”

“You said he was gay. Maybe he’ll look like a girl to me. Does he have boobs?”

“Boobs, no. Pecs, yes.”

“Oh. Hmm,” he trailed off in thought. “Well, what’s his name?”

“Travis, do you like boys?”

“What?”

“You heard me,” I smirked. “Listen, I don’t care if you do. I’m just curious ‘cause Kobe was saying you did a few months back, and after all this I’m starting to wonder.”

He let out an airy chuckle. “I’ve only had a few thoughts of getting it on with another guy. Really. And none of them have ever amounted to anything. And tell Kobe he can go play in traffic if he was trying to make fun of me.”

“Alright, Trav, whatever you say,” I roll my eyes, not believing him at all but not really caring. “And by the way, his name’s Isaac.”

“Cool,” he replied.

“And dude?”

“Yeah?”

“…Just…thanks. I needed your help. Like, a lot,” I whispered, glad that he was there for me when I couldn’t turn to anyone else.