Soria Girl

With a bombshell like the one Dad brought on being dropped on you, there comes a time when you have to tell people the truth right away. That being said, after telling Ren and Luke and Brendan what Dad told me, I waited a while to tell Aliyah and Kobe and instead skipped straight to my then-current best dude-friend, Michael.

I couldn’t predict how he’d act when I told him. I mean, I had a feeling he’d be sad, but after I cockblocked the kid at Mr. G’s, I couldn’t say I would’ve been surprised if he threw a celebration and told me, “Good riddance.”

But before I went back to that home-away-from-home and went back to living it up, loose ends had to be tied. I didn’t want to make the same mistake I made before, leaving my friends behind without even telling them I was moving again. If something was gonna go wrong, I made sure that it wouldn’t be my fault this time.

I talked to Michael one day before school started when we were hanging out near the main building, saying that I wanted to tell him something that evening. Even though it was a school night (a Tuesday, I remember), I told him to meet me at the small pier nearest to Mr. G’s. He knew where I was talking about. When I told him about it, his face sort of fell and he wrinkled his eyebrows up.

I knew this wouldn’t go well.

I kept telling myself that somehow things would turn out alright, that he wouldn’t pull a Ren and ditch me after telling him I was moving again. I kept pounding that positive little spark of a thought into my head as I sat on the bench overlooking the vast sea in front of me. Contemplating how the school day just flew by with only bits and pieces of the hours sticking to my brain. How I was only focused on that moment, right then and there, and how it’d all go down.

To get to smooth sailing, you have to pass over the rocks first.

I told him to meet me there at around six, and according to my cell phone, it was ten after. I sighed. He wouldn’t stand me up. He wasn’t that kind of kid. I’d have expected him to get there early.

This wasn’t a big pier, either. Not many people came to visit it. They all went to the Santa Monica Pier with all of the rides on it (the one me, Aliyah, Kobe, and Crash went to on the Spencers’ birthday), not the dinky little ones that only jutted into the ocean. All that was here were a few benches, nothing else.

I was alone, too. Other than the few old people who roamed the boardwalk, I was by myself.

I sighed to myself, leaning forward and staring at the empty ocean that was mere feet from me and how this would be the last time in a while I’d be seeing it again. It was like that day when Dad took me to Jacksonville right when we were about to move. Just looking at the city and sea that I grew used to was sort of heart-wrenching, no matter where I was. I guess I had two homes.

I guess it was nice that Dad was pulling us back to Claymore when I knew he really didn’t have the conviction to do it himself, but it just sucked on so many levels to have to say goodbye. It sucked when I did it to Ren, Luke, and Brendan; it sucked back after sixth grade when I had to say it to the folks back here in California. Being a navy brat wasn’t all that great in that aspect.

With this – the move I’ve wanted for half a year now – I couldn’t bring myself to feel ungrateful. I mean, sure, it was painful, but it was life. Like Dad said. Leaving was a part of growing up, and it sure as hell was a part of navy-brat life.

I bit my lip. At least he never had to leave me with the neighbors or my relatives; after Mom died he stopped going on the ships and was trained to work more with the technical stuff and physical labor.

So maybe things weren’t all bad. Maybe they wouldn’t be, after that night. Sometimes things looked up and you couldn’t ignore that.

“Ma’am?”

I turned around at the sharply deep voice. There stood Michael, smiling painfully with a Reverend Horton Heat t-shirt. Without his hat, his hair caught the lingering sunlight in the sky and reflected it back, a fiery red color.

“I was starting to think you weren’t coming,” I silently laughed to myself.

He sat down next to me on the old bench overlooking the water. “I had to get my mom to drive me. She didn’t really know where to go.” He licked his lips and for a second, a look of sadness flickered across his normally confident face. “So what’d you wanna talk to me about?”

“Well,” I started. I didn’t know another way to put it to him. “My dad just retired from the navy and we’re moving back to Florida.”

I glanced over at him, and his eyes got wide for a second before he stared at the ground, at the rotting sea-stained wood beneath our feet. He folded his arms, twitching his fingers absentmindedly. It was like I just punched him in the gut all over again and he was coughing for air. He even went a little pale.

“You’re…you’re movin’ again? You just got here,” he asked.

I shrugged, not knowing what to add. “I…yeah.”

Mike sighed for a long time and brushed the hair off of his forehead, turning his neat curls messy.

“But I’m still gonna be alive. It’s not like I’m dying or anything,” I reminded him, nudging his elbow. “You can still call me and email me and stuff.”

He smiled. It was a real sad sort of smile that kind of killed me, but it was his smile nonetheless, and for a second I forgot about everything. “I’d like that.”

“I wanna keep in contact with you, dude. I don’t want to drop everything and just forget about you."

“Aw, you couldn’t forget ‘bout me if you tried. I’m too good,” he grinned, the pain partially lifted away from his expression. “I’ll always be here to talk to if you need someone. As corny as it sounds, I’m only a phone call away, Ms. Atkinson.”

“Don’t call me that.” I pushed his shoulder gently, but he only took my hand and squeezed it tight in his farm-boy grip. It wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t flirty; he was being friendly. And just then, I was reminded of everything good I’ve ever stumbled upon and how life can totally throw you a curveball when you’re expecting the worst.

Mike’s freckled cheeks curved back into that carefree smile of his, and everything felt normal again. Though he was red-faced and his hand was a little sweaty, that gleam in his eye was back. “No, but really. I’m always gonna be here.”

I smiled right back at him. “Thanks, Michael.”

“And…” he trailed off, sucking in a breath and rubbing his thumb in circles on the back of my hand. “You know, I didn’t really…it’s…”

I looked at him expectantly.

But he turned to me and spilled the beans. “I still do have feelings for you. And I…I don’t think they’re goin’ away anytime soon.”

Sure, his words sunk in funny, but they didn’t make my stomach flop or give me butterflies. Mostly I just shrugged.

“Even if you’re not into me, which I know you’re not ‘cause you got a boy back home waitin’ for your kiss,” he said further (pulling out fairytale lines from his ass), “I’ll still have a soft spot for you like that. Feel free to slap me or kill me or whatever, but it’s true.”

“Don’t,” I told him.

He pursed his lips in confusion.

“Really, don’t. You don’t want to think of me like that. I hate to say it, I mean, I really do, but…it’s not gonna happen. Seriously. I love you as a friend, but that’s it. I know what I’m telling you isn’t gonna change your mind, but just remember what I’m saying,” I blurted. “You’re gonna meet another girl someday and use your ‘Mike charm’ on her, and then you’ll fall in love and totally forget about those feelings. Don’t get all caught up now.”

Mike paused. His face went blank for a moment, but then he broke into a sad smile again, wearily nodding along. “I suppose you might be right.”

I knew I was.

He bit his lip and leaned back. “But that don’t change right now. I don’t know. Don’t feel bad or nothing. It’s just me. I’m stupid.”

“Mike, you’re not stupid. You’re the biggest gentleman I’ve ever met. When you get into high school you’re gonna have girls crawling all over you,” I pointed out.

“Sor, no girl in California wants a Mississippi boy. They’re all into their movie stars and rock band guys,” he replied, laughing passionlessly. Then he gazed out into the sunset sky. “Just…please talk to me when you’re in Florida. And holler at me when your band hits it big,” he winked.

I smiled back. “I will. You’ll know for sure.”