Inside In/Inside Out

She left the man standing bewildered on the crowded streets that enveloped him in a showcase for the paparazzi. The embarrassment and lust she felt as she pushed through the crowds made her cheeks cloud over with a rosy color that made them look like soft powder.

Arriving home she ignored the cats, sidestepping them, and almost stepping on Loki’s tail as she made a mad dash for the couch. She needed to sit down and calm herself before a panic attack arrived despite the lack of an invitation. Resting her torso on her thighs she hung her head between her knees, a desperate stance for relaxation. The cats curious to her behavior came over to nuzzle her side and legs. Morrissey twisted around her legs multiple times. She blankly starred down at the black cat with white mittens as he slowly wove his tail between her legs. The soft fur that brushed against her calves calmed her.



The door slammed open and shut after several minutes passed while she was in her safe place that she created in her mind. A place that had bagel boats that floated on rivers of jam. Loud footsteps came towards her. She did not need to look up from her safe position to know there would be a scowl on the man’s face. The presence of him hovering over her with contempt fell over her. It made her gulp before lifting her head up a little to peer up at the man. From her position he looked threatening as his tall frame stood in front of her. From her perspective his head looked like it was touching the ceiling. Her steady breathing started to faltered, so she buried her head in between the comfort of her knees.



“Right then, are you just going to hide your face like a child does when playing hide and seek? I can very well see you, you know.” There was a tense pressure in his voice as he got ready to reprimand her for making him look and feel so very foolish. Riley shook her head a little and heaved her shoulders forward to shrug. “Riley,” he held a growl back as he spoke her name. The woman ignored him.

The bagel boat she was lounging on went over a waterfall of jam as he pulled her out of her comfort zone by lifting her up by her underarms. He knelt in front of her with an arm tucked under her arm to hold her up while his free hand forced her to look at him by holding her chin in place. The blue eyes of the woman kept fluttering away as he searched her face.



“Look at me, Riles,” He snapped. The patience he was known for was slipping away.

The bottom of his palm pressed slightly against her vocal cords only allowing her to choke out, “What?”



“All you have to say is ‘what’?” This time the growl came out. Her hands fluttered at his hand that held her head in place. Her fingers pried at his long ones that dug into her jaw. Finally realizing his authoritative man handling he eased up, looking away with a glint of guilt in his eyes.

Shoving his hand away from her she straighten her back so that she was level with his face. Her body jerked away from his arm that curled under her arm to her back. They held a standoff stare until he spoke,

“That was embarrassing. I was left there by myself as you dashed away. The press is going to have a fucking celebration with this situation.”

“Situation? What exactly would that be?”

“You’re kidding right? Riley, you left me, Russell Brand, lady extraordinaire, standing by myself before we were about to snog.”



“Oh, just because you’re a fucking sex symbol means that I should have kissed you in public in front of all those god damn cameras!” she was becoming angry now, leaving her panic and jostled anxiety behind.

“I have a public image to keep!”

“I have a private life to keep!”

They were left starring at each other for another minute. Both were trying to figure out how badly the situation would affect their lives. Riley knew that Russell’s image was tainted because her leaving looked like she had denied him. However, if the cameras did not flash, scaring her out of the moment, she would have been lip locked with him in the public area. Women around the world will start wondering about why he could not get Riley into his clutches, but she was. Mentally Russell had captivated her with his usual charades. There was no way to get out of the way she felt for the comedian that starred into her eyes as she contemplated the next move or the next words. He once again made the first move:


“Why did you have to run? We could’ve been wrapped up into our own little world on that street if you hadn’t of dashed away.”

“Do you seriously not understand?” she started to feel disgust towards him; feeling like all he cared about was bedding her and his image to the eyes of the world. A foolishness came to her when scandalous headlines about Russell started to flash through her head.

Russell’s voice boomed with desperation and bewilderment, “No, I don’t understand! Any other woman would have stayed! Any other woman would have wanted to be in that situation in front of those people!”


Her stomach twisted at the thought that he had to question why she was not ‘any other woman.’ Did he want her to be like every other woman who willingly threw themselves into a little chance of fame, and into the bed of a charismatic comedian? Riley abruptly stood, making Russell teeter back on his legs that were still held in a kneeling position in front of her own legs.


Eyes followed her as she sidestepped the cats once again and made her way to the corner of the room. She just needed breathing space. That’s all she wanted. Anxiety started to build up into her again, layering itself throughout her body.

“I’m not every other woman,” she inaudibly mumbled more to herself.



“What?” his head turned to her, eyebrows raised over narrowed eyes that focused on her picking at her bottom lip with her fingers; a nervous habit of hers.

“N-nothing.”

“No, don’t tell me nothing! We’re going to settle this,” he said with force and frustration as he made his way over to her.

“What is there to settle!?”

“Why didn’t you kiss me?” He demanded, grabbing her arm before she could make her way to the other side of the room to try to avoid him again.

Her arm tugged in his grip as she whipped around with a swoosh of chaos. “Why the fuck didn’t you fuck me the other night?” she spat at him with a certain desertion in her eyes.

“Don’t you dare turn this back on me!”


“Why? Oh is it because your little friend can’t take the shame?” She stayed on her road of confidence as she boldly grabbed onto the front of his jeans. Cupping him through the fabric, jerking her hand upward a little to make him tense up. “It seems like it really doesn’t have a problem with me, but something tells me that your mind thinks otherwise,” she hissed towards the end.

Looming over her with wide shocked eyes, he bit his lip, and swallowed dramatically. He closed his eyes when she gave another squeeze before her hand started to pull away. Hastily he grabbed her hand and shoved it back to his now heated area. However her fingers did not curl to hold him pleasantly like she just had.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” he groaned into her neck, nipping it, hoping to get his mood into her.

“I really don’t,” she pushed him away, glaring.

“Don’t fucking do this, Riley! Don’t just grab onto my dick, leave it, and then act so god damn innocent,” he towered over her again. His pitch got louder with every sentence and his hand gestures became spastic. “Don’t. You were drunk that one night and was all over me and then the next day you just act like nothing happened!”

She raised herself on her tiptoes even though it failed to look like a menacing threat of dominance. “Oh, I’m so fucking sorry. When did this become a let’s pity on Russell parade? It just kills you that I’m probably one of the only chicks that you have yet to bed! Poor gigantic Russell ego!” she fake cried, adding a twisting fist to her eye.

“I never fucked you that day because I wanted something more out of it!” he blurted out more than he was willing to.



“A fucking blow job too? God Russell, not everybody can be like a kid in a candy store when it comes to sex.”

Shaking her shoulders a bit, he dictated, “Listen to me for one fucking second!?”


“Why should I, huh? You are jus-”

 He smashed his lips onto her as a hunger of desperation. Once she stood still he eased up and the kiss soon turned into a simple, sweet, kiss when she allowed herself to relax against the wall and move her lips slightly with his. It broke when she slipped from under his arms that caged her to the wall.



Her mouth opened to speak, but was folded closed over his lips that sank onto hers again. He pulled away for a split second to mumble, “Don’t,” before silencing her for good. Lifting her up to allow her to wrap her legs around his slender waist, he made his way down the stairs, stumbling down some of them as his extra weight made him lean forward too much. He stopped after every few steps to push the still in shock woman against the wall so he could grope at her breasts and kiss all around the base of her neck.

When they finally made it to his bedroom he threw her slightly onto the bed. She landed with a bounce that ended in a roll to her side. Russell stalked onto the bed, slowly crawling over her. The suddenness of all these actions made Riley’s breathing stagger in large gasps the were created from panic and lust. She couldn’t control her breathing and lost air every time his lips smashed against hers, but something inside her wanted to keep going.

Russell’s breathing was more frequent now and had little grunts of satisfaction laced into it as he ground his hardness against her thigh so that she knew it was time to release the beast of pleasure. Her hands went to his belt buckle, unhooked it, and quickly led her fingers to the zip. When his pants were pushed past his crotch his erection sprung a bit, but was still contained by his briefs. Her canine tooth bit at her lip as she watched Russell shove away his pants.

Her mind was disoriented so she did not notice when he stealthily moved her shirt over her head, nor did she notice when his own had been discarded. Who took his shirt off and did she make the first move during all the scrambling on the bed?

A hand slipped under her back, unclipping the pink lace bra that helped raise her breasts further than they really needed to be. For some reason the bra was packed for the trip despite the lack of a job it had in America. She gasped when his mouth incased a nipple when the bra was thrown mindlessly. His tongue slide along the bud, making it peak into a small hill. When he was satisfied with the tenseness of the flesh he pulled away, ending the pleasure with a small pop from his lips.

Her hips bucked against his when his added pelvic weight fell against her pelvic area. Riley kept telling herself to pull away, but her body followed through with its’ animal instincts. It craved for the stimulation. It was exactly what she got too when her eyes stretched wide open when her labia was flicked at by a warm, wet, flesh that led inside of Russell’s mouth. Somehow the man had discarded her underwear without her noticing. It could have been when he was pinching at her other nipple between nimble fingers while his tongue moved through her mouth.

Russell peered up at her to meet with her eyes that fought to stay open. They closed when he stuck his tongue inside of her and swirled it around, making sure to make a full 360 for sheer maximum pleasure. Her moans escaped and a hand eagerly grasped onto his head, pushing him to her, burring his face into her wet warmth.



Satisfied with himself, he sat up before one last long lick against her clitoris. Riley could not contain herself any longer. Somehow the sex addict got her into his bed and there was no stopping now. Her mind did not know how to even think about stopping anymore, it was lost in a whirlwind of euphoria. She grabbed at his briefs, tugging him closer to her so she could easily push the barrier away. His hard erection sprung out at her once it was no longer buried in the fabric cage. Leaning over to his nightstand he pulled out a condom, and proceeded to open it up and slip it over him like how he precisely rehearsed many times.

She watched him as he moved a hand up and down one of her legs to feel the slight stubble that she was too lazy to get rid of. Russell was surprisingly quiet during his routine. Riley became nervous, wondering if she was not doing something right, maybe she was not giving him enough back. Her leg was hoisted over his shoulder so he could positioned himself at the bottom of her, which broke her train of worried thoughts.

Reaching up she grabbed onto the back of his head, forcing him down so she could merge her lips with his. She bite and sucked at his lower lip whenever their tongues slide away from each other. He groaned more and moved a hand through her hair, tangling his fingers into it when he made a fist. Gasps came from both of them when he was deep inside of her in one swift move.

Thrusting into her, he became animal like as his grunts became boisterous, but it was not a turn off for her. In fact, she loved the way instinct took over and she welcomed the rapid back and forth motion of his hips as his vocal cords vibrated growls off them.



Riley arched her back letting the unbalanced weight curl her toes deep into the hills of fabric when she could feel her climax coming. Her muscles contracted tightly around him as he pushed into her deeper, but with long strokes so that the feel of his pulsating penis was antagonizing her as it moved up and down. 



“Russellllll,” she choked out during a moan when her stomach knotted and her vagina contracted one last hard time around him.

Peering up at him she met his eyes that no longer had the hungry animal look, but one of complete awe and wonder sparkled through them. She pulled him down to her, kissing him deeply with a playful nip and tug at his lower lip. Her hands scraped up his lower back, sending shivers down his spine. It led to his back arching into her hips that she jolted up so that he slipped deep inside her, making him spurt into the condom. He moaned long and deep, letting his body lowered slowly while the muscles in his back shivered and convulsed.

Falling on top of her, he deeply sighed, leaving himself inside of her. She did not mind though because despite the rubber barrier she liked the way he filled up that empty space in her. Rolling off of her, he pulled himself out of her, leaving her feeling hollow. After throwing the used condom away, Russell buried his face into the side of one of her breasts. His head rested up against her arm that curled around his head. Riley twisted the wavy locks of dark brown hair that were now a slight sheen from perspiration.

When the few minutes that were filled with only their concentrated focus on normal breathing passed, Russell shifted himself so that he was leaning on his elbow. He looked down at Riley with a wide sheepish smile that made her curious about him. Russell shook his head, turning his smile into a silly grin before flopping back down to rest in his previous position.

Finally Riley broke the silence with a raspy, “What?” She felt his hair brush against her arm and naked breast as he shook his head slightly, dismissing her. After repeating herself she received a soft kiss against her breast and a murmur of words, 


“You just have no idea what you do to me.”

Laying there with the man curled to her side she thought about the time she had spent with him. She believed those were the most truthful words he had told her so far, even if she did not quite know what they meant.