Howl.

These were the moments that I lived for: the ones where you are lying next to your best friend, the love of your life, not saying a word and on the edge of sleep. I draped my arm across Embry's stomach, and took in a deep breath, letting it out softly. He pushed my hair out of my eyes, the pads of his fingers just barely brushing my skin.

The television was playing softly at our feet, but I stopped paying attention a long time ago. I was so absorbed in the moment that I had almost forgotten where we were: in a hotel room, somewhere in Omaha.

I dragged my fingers across his chest. "I can't believe that in less than twenty-four hours, I'll have found my father."

"Sshh." Embry inhaled deeply, and I lifted my head from his shoulder to look at him. His eyes were closed, a small smile on his face.

"What?"

"Just be quiet." He looked at me, grinning. "Listen."

I put my head down on his chest and did just that. His heartbeat was loud, and strong. It was a comforting sound. I drifted off to sleep, but then woke up shortly after from a jerk in my leg. Carefully, I sat up, and looked down at him. He was asleep.

Smiling, I shifted my weight so that I was closer to him. There were words on my tongue that had been weighing heavily on me for a while now, but I still didn't know if I could say them. Draping my whole arm across Embry, I closed my eyes, and thought about tomorrow. I should've seen it before: Dad was always gone on business trips, most of them for extended periods of time. He'd come home with little pictures, saying, "Oh, Bob's daughter drew it for me. She's four."

I felt betrayed, and wasn't sure if I could ever forgive him for leaving. He and my older sister Jocelyn really screwed Mom up, and it was hard to live with her. Mom was neurotic, spontaneous, and irresponsible. She was never home anymore, and drank a lot more than she used to.

It was almost as if Dad left because we weren't good enough. I bet his family in Arkansas was picture perfect, with a boy and a girl, a dog, and a white picket fence. Maybe his wife, or mistress (whatever you want to call it) was more beautiful than Mom, although I doubted it. Mom was beautiful from the inside out - she just had some problems.

"Lil?"

My breath hitched in my throat, and I sat up. "What?"

Embry smiled, his eyes half closed. "You should go to sleep."

"I don't want to."

He sighed, and rubbed his eyes. "What else are you going to do?" Embry brought his hand down, resting it on his belly.

I shrugged.

Embry sat up on his elbows and kissed me, taking me by surprise. I put my hands on his neck and fell back against my pillow. He took in a sharp breath and followed me, pulling himself upward. I played with his hair, tangling my fingers through the dark locks. Embry held my waist, and we stayed like that for a while before I ran out of breath.

As much as I wanted to, I wasn't ready to go all the way with him. I still had a lot of mental trauma left over from Freddie, and even if I tried not to, a break down was definitely possible.

I gently pushed him away, and sat up. "You ok?" Embry wondered, sitting up next to me.

"I'm fine," I whispered. "Scared of tomorrow..."

"Don't be. It'll be fine." He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him.

"What if he doesn't want to see me? What if he pretends he doesn't even know me?" I had only just thought of these situations. What a waste of gas and money that would be.

"Everything is going to be ok. I promise."

I looked at him, only the light of the television lighting his face. "Embry, I think I ..." I held my breath, shocked at what I had almost said. He stared at me, waiting.

"Yeah?"

"Never mind. Forget it." I lied back, turning away from him and curling into ball.

"Hey, you can't do that." The mattress shifted a little as he moved over to me. "You never let me 'never mind.' What's on your mind?"

"I can't tell you right now," I replied, closing my eyes.

He sighed, and pressed his cheek against my shoulder. "If we leave early tomorrow we can be in Little Rock by seven."

I nodded. "Ok."

"And Lilly?"

"Hmm?" I rolled onto my back and looked at him. Embry smiled softly.

"Don't worry. It'll be alright."