Can't I Stop This?
I Hope She Heard It.
I woke up the next morning feeling like I hadn’t slept at all. Then I realized, that was most defiantly a possibility. Jill wasn’t around right now. I let out a sigh of relief and headed downstairs for some breakfast. I was expecting the family to be there eating their Sunday breakfast together, then I saw the clock. I missed church this morning. I let out a yell in the empty house and left myself fall into a chair from the dinner table. I sat there staring intently at the pattern in the lace of the table cloth. I tugged on it a bit to see the pattern change. This was how I calmed down.
I would find something that it perfectly in place, then change it to find that, it still looks fine. When I was a kid and I was mad, I would change the direction of my sheets, sending the foot end to the head of the bed. Or I’d rearrange the fridge. Now, I mess with a table cloth.
Now that I was calm I allowed myself to continue through the kitchen. I found myself some cheerios and a banana. I sliced the banana into small pieces and put it over the cheerios.
As I ate, I began to feel noxious. Like I’d eaten something bad the night before. Then I thought to myself, Jill. I finished my cheerios hoping it would get rid of the feeling and washed the bowl. Maybe I was dehydrated. So I got a tall glass of water. I continued to drink for the next couple minutes, and let it soak in. I still felt sick. For once I wished Jill was here. She could tell me what was wrong with me.
I wanted to sleep, but I wasn’t sure what would happen if I chose to make my self unconscious. Could she take over my body again? I hoped not. I would like to be able to take a nap every once in a while. When was the last time I'd taken a nap? More or less, what happened the last time I'd taken a nap?
I walked around the house with those thoughts just drowning my mind. Wondering what I can and cannot do with Jill here. I wish I knew how long she'd really been around. I wish I knew exactly why she was even around. And most of all, I wish I knew how to get rid of her.
"You get rid of me by finding out why you need me so damn much." Jill walked in from the living room and for once I wasn't angered by her presents. I'm too sick and tired to give the smallest care in the world. She had an expression her face like she was tired of being in my head too. Tired of dealing with my questions. Like an angered teenager being scolded by her parents. "And i do wish you'd figure out why I'm here soon, cause I'm tired of your questions. I've come to the point where the only time I'm not annoyed by you is when I am you." A demonic smile stretches across her face and I close my eyes and clench my stomach.
I sat there like that for a second and let Jill's face become embroidered into my mind. Her disgusting evil smile, her ridiculous sarcastic remarks filling my head. Then the reason I'm so sick comes into play. I see me stumbling out of the back door of Chandler's house. I have an orange Fanta bottle in my hand and for some reason, I don't quite believe that it's just orange soda. There are people still inside and they chant my name to come back inside. Chips start to fly from the door way and seem to lure me back into the house. There is a split second of hesitation then I stumble onto the ground and begin to eat the chips off the ground and crawl back into the house.
"How embarrassing." I say moving my hands from my stomach to my face. I hide it as if there is someone there that would judge me for my thoughts. Though the only person there is Jill, and she doesn't even exist.
"I know, why do you do that to yourself?" Jill says laughing.
"You can't just tell me why I need you?" I ask letting my hands fall to my knees as I look at Jill with pleading eyes.
"You gotta find out on your own bud. And not even that will get rid of me, you have fix yourself, change what ever makes you need me here." Jill is serious for a moment, "But for now, I fuck with your head until you realize the truth." She laughs quietly to her self and walks off down the hall.
"Bitch." I think to myself and hope she heard it.
I would find something that it perfectly in place, then change it to find that, it still looks fine. When I was a kid and I was mad, I would change the direction of my sheets, sending the foot end to the head of the bed. Or I’d rearrange the fridge. Now, I mess with a table cloth.
Now that I was calm I allowed myself to continue through the kitchen. I found myself some cheerios and a banana. I sliced the banana into small pieces and put it over the cheerios.
As I ate, I began to feel noxious. Like I’d eaten something bad the night before. Then I thought to myself, Jill. I finished my cheerios hoping it would get rid of the feeling and washed the bowl. Maybe I was dehydrated. So I got a tall glass of water. I continued to drink for the next couple minutes, and let it soak in. I still felt sick. For once I wished Jill was here. She could tell me what was wrong with me.
I wanted to sleep, but I wasn’t sure what would happen if I chose to make my self unconscious. Could she take over my body again? I hoped not. I would like to be able to take a nap every once in a while. When was the last time I'd taken a nap? More or less, what happened the last time I'd taken a nap?
I walked around the house with those thoughts just drowning my mind. Wondering what I can and cannot do with Jill here. I wish I knew how long she'd really been around. I wish I knew exactly why she was even around. And most of all, I wish I knew how to get rid of her.
"You get rid of me by finding out why you need me so damn much." Jill walked in from the living room and for once I wasn't angered by her presents. I'm too sick and tired to give the smallest care in the world. She had an expression her face like she was tired of being in my head too. Tired of dealing with my questions. Like an angered teenager being scolded by her parents. "And i do wish you'd figure out why I'm here soon, cause I'm tired of your questions. I've come to the point where the only time I'm not annoyed by you is when I am you." A demonic smile stretches across her face and I close my eyes and clench my stomach.
I sat there like that for a second and let Jill's face become embroidered into my mind. Her disgusting evil smile, her ridiculous sarcastic remarks filling my head. Then the reason I'm so sick comes into play. I see me stumbling out of the back door of Chandler's house. I have an orange Fanta bottle in my hand and for some reason, I don't quite believe that it's just orange soda. There are people still inside and they chant my name to come back inside. Chips start to fly from the door way and seem to lure me back into the house. There is a split second of hesitation then I stumble onto the ground and begin to eat the chips off the ground and crawl back into the house.
"How embarrassing." I say moving my hands from my stomach to my face. I hide it as if there is someone there that would judge me for my thoughts. Though the only person there is Jill, and she doesn't even exist.
"I know, why do you do that to yourself?" Jill says laughing.
"You can't just tell me why I need you?" I ask letting my hands fall to my knees as I look at Jill with pleading eyes.
"You gotta find out on your own bud. And not even that will get rid of me, you have fix yourself, change what ever makes you need me here." Jill is serious for a moment, "But for now, I fuck with your head until you realize the truth." She laughs quietly to her self and walks off down the hall.
"Bitch." I think to myself and hope she heard it.