I'm Gonna Break Down These Walls

It was finally the end of the week and we won't have school for a whole week. Yes, how I love spring break. Vanessa said she would stay another week even though she had to go back to school. She said I'm more important even though when she gets back she's going to have so much make-up work to do. Plus, I could actually hang out with her all day now. We would always hang out with the boys and Kara of course. Kara, Vanessa, and I became close. We practically have a girl's night every day but the boys would always annoy us and say we don't hang out with them enough.

"Hey, hot stuff," said Jack, sitting next to me on the couch. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "What are you up to?"

"I'm just thinking," I said. "And I am not hot but thanks."

"What are you talking about? You're pretty." He smiled at me and I smiled back. "This is why Alex likes you. Well, one of the reasons. He thinks you're awesome and you have an awesome personality. Plus, I've never seen him blush so much in his life. I think you should date him."

"Everyone keeps telling me that." I sighed. "But I can't..." Everyone started to come in the room.

"Why not?"

"I'll tell you later. It's not something I want to say in front of everyone," I mumbled and he nodded. Alex was staring at us and I noticed that Jack still had his arm around me and I shrugged it off. Alex seemed happier when I did but Jack pouted. I smiled at him sweetly. He seemed to have understood and he smiled. Alex sat down next to me and smiled. I smiled back and I looked at Jack to see him texting someone. I felt my phone vibrate and I looked 'You like Alex!' I looked at him and shook my head.

"You do!" He nudged me with his shoulder and I glared at him. "Don't deny it. Admit it!"

"What the heck are you guys talking about?" Rian asked. Everyone seemed confused.

"Oh, nothing... It's time to party! Let's go." There was going to be so many parties going on this week. It's not even funny. There was going to be one almost every day. It was insane.

We took two cars to the party, Kara and I being the designated drivers. Alex usually goes off to find a target to do but he stuck to me like glue this time. It seemed odd to me but it was nice. Jack and everyone else just went off. It was just us two.

"Um, I have a question," I said once we entered the kitchen. I saw Jack making out with some girl and it was grossing me out. "Uh, ew, let's go back out there." We went to the backyard. A few people were there but not many. Everyone was mostly inside and there was a pool back here. I don't even know whose house it was but it's nice. It was going to get ruined later.

"What's your question?" Alex asked once we sat down on the porch.

"Why are you here with me? I mean you're usually out there mingling with girls and getting into their pants," I said. "It's unusual even for you."

"I told you I don't want to do that anymore because I like someone."

"Oh, really? Who?" I grinned. I already knew but I really want to make sure.

He blushed. "It's not important. What about you? Do you like anyone?"

(Alex's POV)
"Maybe," she said, smiling. "I'm not really sure yet." She shrugged. I could feel my heart breaking into little pieces. If she does like someone, it couldn't really be me. She told me she only loves me in a friend way. She could like some other guy at school for all I know.

"Oh," I said. It was all I could say. "Do you wanna go for a walk or something? It's boring me here."

She shrugged. "Okay, sounds good. I'm not really into partying anyways." We got up and got out of the house and started walking towards to who knows where. "Alex, if it's not too weird, can I ask how many girls have you slept with?" she asked.

I stopped walking. I didn't know she would ever ask me something like that. I mean I won't lie. "A few," I mumbled and she stood in front of me. "I don't exactly know how many. I'm getting really scared about liking this girl. She's changing me but she doesn't even know it and I don't think she even knows how I feel about her. I'm too scared to tell her."

"Why? Are you friends with this girl? I would think you wouldn't care if you weren't friends with her."

"Yeah, she's one of my friends." I hope I'm not giving too much information here. "Do you think I should tell her or something?"

"You should. If she doesn't like you back, she's crazy." She grabbed my hand and we started walking to the park. I felt that electric surge. "You're an awesome friend and you're a really funny guy. You're fun to be with. I can see why girls at school like you."

I felt my cheeks burn. "Thanks. Can I ask why you moved here? And don't tell me because your parents just got new jobs here. There's more to it and I know it. You just don't want to tell me what it is."

She sighed and we sat down in a bench. "I guess I can tell you now. No one's here and I hope I'll feel better by telling you. It's a really long story though."

I smiled. "We have time." I grabbed her hand and she smiled at me. "You can tell me anything, remember that."

"I know." She sighed. "I'm gonna feel like an idiot if I cry."

"Don't worry about it. I'm here for you."

(Eliana's POV)
"Well, here it goes." I took a deep breath. "The real reason I moved here was because of a boy." I could see the pain in his eyes as if I just stabbed him in the heart. I guess he really did like me if he didn't want to know that I moved here because of a boy. "I tried to kill myself because of him." His eye twitched and I squeezed his hand. "We dated for over a year and a half. I was in love with him. He would tell me he loved me back. I thought he meant it. I meant it. He wanted our relationship to go farther and I mean that he wanted to have sex. I told him no and he cheated on me... Then he went and told me he never loved me." I could feel the tears building up. "He broke up with me and started dating the girl he had sex with. The only reason he dated me was to get in my pants apparently. The good thing is that I didn't have sex with him. It would have been a mistake if I did. I was so hurt that he left me. I was completely in love." Tears started to roll down my cheeks. "That's when I tried to kill myself. I thought I shouldn't be alive if he didn't love me. But the horrible thing is that I've been cutting myself ever since. There's not one day that I don't think about him. They're always bad memories so I go and cut myself. Seeing people drink a lot isn't good for me. It makes me think of him and how rowdy he would get when he would drink too much. Now I feel like I will never be in love again. I wasted my love on someone who never really loved me. I'm too scared to go out with anyone because of him, especially fall in love." I couldn't stop crying now and he held me close to him. I could feel his shirt getting wet from my tears.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I can't believe you went through that. I don't want that to ever happen to you again." I stopped crying after a few minutes. "I'm not going to let that happen to you ever again. You'll find someone who loves you. He may even be closer than you think." He wiped the tears away with his thumbs. He kept his hands there and did something I didn't expect.