Two Roads Split Off From Here

Why Me?

On my mind, there was only one thing he wanted from me. I grew nervous. I didn’t want to be raped, let alone by an ex boyfriend. I didn’t want him to steal my virginity from me. He knew I wanted to wait until marriage.

“No,” I said, still muffled.

“Ha, you’re quick to figure it out. You knew how bad I wanted you when we were in high school. You had to be the stubborn bitch with the whole saving yourself for marriage. Then you had to leave me for that pretty boy Frank, and hide behind him. But your little Frankie isn’t here is he? I get you all to myself.”

I was disgusted at his words, but I had no choice. I was at his mercy. I was the one tied up and unable to move. I began to struggle again, and I managed to shake the gag loose from my mouth.

“Matt, you don’t have to do this. Why would you stoop so low as to this anyways?” I asked.

“Why? WHY!? You broke my fucking heart. Revenge is a bitch, Lisa. It really is. You’ve never had your heart broken, you wouldn’t know.”

“You’re the one that fucking walked out on me!” I shouted at him. “Remember, Thanksgiving last year!?” I said angrily.

He knew I was right, but he wasn’t having it. He wanted to be right. I glared at him, waiting for his response.

“Maybe if you would let me have some things I want, we’d still be happy together.”

“It’s one fucking decision Matt! We still could’ve been happy together. What the fuck is the other reason you’re here!?”

“Just…shut up!” he shouted, then he put the cloth back in my mouth.

I screamed at him, but once again they just came out as a muffled groan. He just grinned, then he proceeded to take his own shirt off. He approached the bed, and leaned over me, straddling me. I had tried to push him off, but it didn’t work at all. Matt had the advantage, a big advantage. He ran his hands down my stomach, stopping at my waist. I was suddenly overcome with emotion, and I began to cry. I didn’t want this to happen, I wanted it to be a dream.

“Oh come on, don’t cry. It’ll only hurt a little, especially since it’s your first time.”

“Fuck you,” I said through the gag.

He unbuttoned his jeans and then he picked up the knife again. He unbuttoned my jeans, then he went to work and got them off of me. I was at the point where I knew it wasn’t worth it to yell and struggle. It was where I should just try to find a happy place. I turned my head away from him and closed my eyes. I was drifting away to the beach with Frank. That image was quickly broken into when I felt excruciating pain and pressure in my middle. I didn’t look, but I knew it was Matt doing what he wanted to do so badly. I don’t know how long he kept it up, but he was going at it for a long time. I just tried to find a happy place to not think about my virginity being stolen from me in such a harsh nightmare-like way. After what felt like an eternity, it was gone, and I just felt drained. All my energy was gone. I felt like I was going to pass out. My mind was out of it, and I could feel Matt untying my wrists and ankles. He picked up my head and untied the gag. I felt my head just hit the pillow and roll to the side.

“You weren’t even worth it,” he said.

“Fuck off,” I snapped weakly.

“Heh, I actually can’t believe I did that, you basically just fell asleep.”

“I was finding a…fuck off,” I mumbled.

I felt myself being moved, and my mind started to rejoin reality. Matt held me weakly, still holding the knife in one of his hands. I tried not to let him know I was coming back into it. When I felt better, I shoved him away from me hard.

“Get the fuck away from me!” I shouted.

I ran for my cell phone and grabbed it. I dialed 911, and right as they answered, I was grabbed and pinned down to the floor. I could hear the voice on the other end of the phone.

“911 what’s your emergency?”

“Damn bitch,” Matt said.

“Get the fuck off of me!” I shouted.

Matt grabbed the phone out of my hand and threw it at the wall. He pinned me down and he held the knife in his hand. The anger boiled in his eyes. I waited for him to stab me in the chest with it. I tried to fight him off, but I wasn’t doing well. Then I did what I thought would work, I brought my knee up, and tried to get him between the legs. He reeled back and let go of me. I tried to run back to my room, and I managed to get there and grab the bed sheet to wrap around myself. I went back out, and I was silent. Nothing. I snuck out to the living room, and to the balcony. Off in the distance, I could faintly hear sirens. I stood, leaning against the railing. I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks. My body shook. I was scared to death.

“Frank? I need you!” I said to the sky, knowing he wouldn’t hear anyways.

I was then grabbed by my hair and pulled back inside.

“Frank can’t come here right now. I have you to myself,” Matt said, pushing me to the floor again.

“Why me, Matt. Why can’t you fucking leave me alone?”

“You know why. I’ll fucking make sure you don’t have his fucking kids either.”

As soon as I was able to comprehend what he was saying, I felt a searing pain run through my body, starting at my middle. It felt like someone was torching my insides. The burning sensation started there and moved throughout me. I tensed and stiffened, trying to ignore it. The pain was too unbearable. I only then realized he had stabbed me inside. He had just raped me with the knife. I turned and saw flashing lights. Matt saw them too. I heard him running around, then a door slammed. I tried to get up, and I managed to crawl to the door. I could hear sirens, and I could hear my cat meowing and pawing at me. I moved one of my hands and touched myself. I felt the wetness, a lot of it. I brought my hand back up and saw it covered in blood. I pulled myself to my feet, wrapped up in the sheet, and walked out. I have no clue how I did it, but I managed to make it down the stairs to the door. I could hear voices, and I was blinded by the flashing lights. I leaned on the door trying to open it. I remember it opening, and I fell forward onto the ground. That was the last thing I remembered.