Confessions of a Teenage Zombie

I walked home, the whole time going through scenarios that would've ended the day on a way better note. Maybe if I had let Alex go home by himself, although sometimes the streets of Las Vegas could be scary. Or maybe if I had just gone for a hug; something innocent.

I got to the house, stopping on the porch steps and sighing. I felt like I pushed away my only other living friend besides Brent and Art. I walked up the steps and into the house. I could hear the television was on. I peeked into the living room, seeing Brent and Ryan watching some cartoons.

At least they were happy.

I backed up and quietly went up the stairs, as not to disturb them. Ryan was finally in a nice, happy place. I didn't want to bring up any of my stuff and risk making him upset or sad.

I went into my room, closing the door and immediately throwing off all of my clothes. I got into my pajamas and laid down on my bed. I looked out the window, where it looked like it was getting cloudy and dark outside. I heard rumbling in the distance.

Perfect. Thunderstorm.

I could hear footsteps, and someone crying. Was Ryan okay? I cracked open my door a little and peeked out. Ryan was slowly walking into his room. Brent closed the door after Ryan entered and looked over at me.

"Are you okay?" He walked over to me. I nodded my head slowly, because I didn't really want to talk to Brent about it. He smiled a little. "It doesn't seem like you and Ryan are in the mood for company, so I'm just gonna get going before it starts raining too badly."

"Sorry," I mumbled. Brent pulled me into a hug.

"It's fine. As long as you and Ryan are gonna be okay, I'm okay," he said. He waved and turned around, going downstairs. I walked out of my room and stared at Ryan's door. I knocked gently.

"Ryan, is everything okay? Can I come in?" I figured there may be be a small chance he would talk to me. He poked his head out of the door, which was a little freaky to look at. He looked left and right before nodding his head. He backed away, and I opened the door.

"Where's Brent?" he inquired as I closed the door behind me. I slid against the door until I was sitting down. Ryan sat down too.

"He went home. He didn't think we'd want company," I explained. Ryan frowned and looked down at the ground. He looked at me. "Is everything okay? I heard you crying."

"I don't like thunder storms, and I think we're probably going to get one." Ryan looked over his shoulder, where the window was. He sighed and turned back to me. "Brendon, take my mind off of it. Uh... How was the movie?"

"It was okay. I got tickets for Dear John, since Alex wanted to see it. I guess it was a good movie, although it totally wasn't my kind of thing," I explained. Ryan chuckled. "I teared up a bit, which was nothing compared to Alex's full blown crying episode."

"Was he okay?" Ryan's eyes widened.

"He cried through the whole movie, basically. He said he cries a lot during movies. It was a little weird, honestly." I furrowed my eyebrows and smiled. "I'm never good with people who cry, so I tend to just ignore them, but I couldn't really just leave Alex."

"I was crying and you're hanging out with me," Ryan stated. I grinned, because I mean, Ryan was family. Not by blood, but we've lived together long enough where he's like a little brother, even though he's older than I am. "So you two went your separate ways after the movie?"

"No! I'm a gentleman. I took him home." I frowned. "But then I fucked up, Ryan. I felt all weird and my stomach was twisting about on the inside, so I tried to kiss him, but he covered his mouth and ran inside."

"Brendon!" Ryan looked freaked out. "Brendon, why? That's not a good idea. You remember you're a zombie, right?"

"I know! But it happened. Hanging out with him just kind of takes my mind off of the fact that I'm undead." I felt like Ryan was attacking me. Ryan blinked twice. "Do you think I really have many choices when it comes to love? And besides, I bet you didn't freak out when Shane and Art got together!"

"That's different, Brendon. Art knows Shane is a vampire. Does Alex know you're a zombie?" Ryan inquired. "If it were Brent, it would be fine, because he knows about us; he'd know what he was getting himself into!"

"I'm not getting Alex into anything! It just happened, and it's not like he returned the kiss either. Happy?" I wanted to punch Ryan, but I couldn't; he had no physical body. "He probably isn't going to talk to me anymore anyway."

"Good." Ryan crossed his arms over his chest. I furrowed my eyebrows. Did he just imply that he was happy Alex rejected me? "Think about it, Brendon. Would he talk to you anyway? You're pretending to be someone else to avoid anyone finding out you're not dead. I can imagine you're changing facts about yourself, and probably things you're into. Is he really into you, or whatever your false identity is?"

"That's a low blow, asshole," I growled. I stood up and turned around, opening the door. I stormed out, slamming the door behind me.

Besides, I still attempted to remain as true to who I am as possible. Ryan has no idea how I interact, and he had no right to say anything. I went into my room and slammed the door shut.

I crawled into bed and fell asleep wanting to cry. Sometimes I wish I had stayed six feet under.