Confessions of a Teenage Zombie

I looked over at Alex. Even though he told me why he ran so quickly, I still didn't know if he was fine with the fact that I tried to kiss him in the first place. I tried to think of a way to ask him about it without seeming like I was being too in his face about it.

Maybe there wasn't a way to avoid it.

"So let's say your parents did know you were gay. Would you have run off on me?" I inquired. Alex blinked twice and looked away quickly. I couldn't tell if it was because he didn't want to tell me, or because he was just offended somehow.

He looked at me a minute later. He sighed.

"I don't know," he mumbled. "I mean, I guess not."

I could hear hesitation in his voice, like he wasn't quite sure if that was what he wanted to say. I didn't know if it was because he was nervous to tell me, or because he just didn't want to hurt my feelings.

I knew it was probably just nerves; it usually was with him. I didn't want to get him even more nervous by forcing him to say what he didn't want to, but I also knew he'd never leave his comfort zone if no one forced him out of it. Brent told me earlier to stop ignoring things just because someone wants to, and I guess there was no better time to start doing that than now.

"You know, if you have something to add, then say it," I said. Alex's eyes widened, like he didn't expect me to say that. I guess it did come off as extremely harsh. "It just sounds like you're hesitant to answer my question is all. You know that I won't get mad no matter what you say, right?"

"I know." Alex looked down at his feet. "But you're nineteen, and I'm sixteen. I just don't want you to get in trouble or anything."

"With who?" I inquired. Alex looked at me. "My parents? I'm not worried about them at all. Your parents, I guess I understand."

"It's not just any of them, but Jon too." Alex sighed. I arched an eyebrow. Why would Jon care? I'd think he'd be happy Alex would have someone. "It seems like he almost treats you as if you were his friend is all. The way he always tells me things about Brendon, the other one, it was like he was in love with him. I wouldn't want you in trouble because of that."

"I'd think you would be more in trouble than I would if that were the case," I explained. I didn't want to tell Alex he was correct in what he just said; I think Jon didn't want to even think about the fact that he was never able to tell me how he felt. The fact that he shared that information with me was nice, but I knew it was hard for him to explain it.

"I guess," Alex murmured. "I guess I'm just over thinking it. Maybe I should just be happy that anyone likes me at all and kiss you or something."

"I agree." I nodded my head and grinned. Alex blinked twice. "So, wanna snog?"

"What's that mean?" Alex inquired. His innocence was only slightly annoying. I smiled and shook my head, because I just didn't feel like explaining. It would kill the mood, I think. Of course, I was probably the only one who felt said mood. "But I wanna know."

"You can look it up later. Yeah, definitely. Then call me and give me an answer about it," I replied. Alex blinked again. I was confusing him; I think I always did a little each time we saw each other.

"Okay," he mumbled. I smiled at him and gave him a pat on the head. Even though his innocence was annoying sometimes, it was also cute as hell. I leaned into him and kissed his cheek. He smiled at me. "So, are you my boyfriend now?"

"You want me to be?" I didn't want to force him into it by saying yes, even though I was pretty sure he'd be fine with it. If he wasn't, he wouldn't tell me anyway. If I were a horrible person, I could take advantage of that, but I wasn't a horrible person. Not entirely, anyway.

Sometimes I could be mean.

"Yeah, I think so." He grinned. "If you're okay with it."

"I'm great with it!" I shrieked. That definite reply was a little embarrassing; I had meant to have it come off as sounding way calmer.

As long as I didn't start squealing outwardly, everything was cool.