Baby, We'll Fade Away

The bus was the first place I thought to run to, so that's where I let my feet lead me. As soon as I opened the door, I headed towards the bunk area.

"Hey, Garrett. D'you know where - Whoa, man. What's wrong?" I faintly heard Kennedy's voice call to me, soon after hearing murmurs of "yeah, what's wrong?" from both Jared and John. But I ignored them all and strode to my bunk before hopping in and closing the curtain.

Tears were still freely flowing down my face and they refused to cease no matter how hard I tried. The only image that was visible and present in my mind was of Pat kissing that fake, blonde slut. Never if my whole entire life have I wanted to badly to hit a girl. And that was half of the reason I was crying.

I was partly crying for the pure fact that Pat had kissed that girl. Why?! What did he possibly see in her? He shouldn't be out kissing girls like her.. he should only kiss someone who likes him for him, is friends with him, would never hurt him.. I stopped my thoughts there and backtracked, thinking of the other reason I was crying. It was a reason that absolutely terrified me.

I didn't know why I was so upset that Pat was kissing some girl he barely even knew. I honestly never cared the numerous times I'd seen Jared, Kennedy or John kissing someone - I'd normally joke about it or tease them. I told myself over and over that I didn't know why I couldn't stop the heavy flow of tears, but deep down.. I knew.

And I hated it. And currently, I hated myself.

~

I'd managed to avoid Pat all day; I hadn't spoken to him or even seen him since last night, when I caught him snogging that girl. I shuddered the tiniest bit at the memory and felt a tiny prick at my eyes. I couldn't cry again; I refused to. So I blinked away the tears that were forming and walked over to the group of guys I saw.

When I reached the small group, I immediately recognized all of the faces; Kennedy, John, Jared - as well as Alex Gaskarth, Jack Barakat, Zack Merrick, and Rian Dawson from All Time Low.

"Sup?" I said, nodding my head towards the guys. They all grunted in response or said a small greeting: "hey", "hi", "wassup?".

"So.. the guys here said," Alex's voice was directed at me, and he paused, motioning towards my three bandmates with his hand, "that you and Pat have been ignoring eachother lately?"

The extremely blunt words shocked me. I didn't even realize.. that the guys had noticed me and Pat's separation. I also didn't know that they talked about me behind my back. I turned to glare at my bandmates before pondering over how to respond to Alex.I was friends with him and all, but there was no way in Hell I was gonna saw anything that let on to how I was feeling right now. Especially not in front of the other six people around us.

So I went with the easiest explanation possible.

"Yeah, he's been a douche lately." I replied with a shrug of my shoulders, as if it was no big deal.

Alex's mouth opened as he was about to speak, but before he could, he was cut of by a man walking over to us and saying, "All Time Low! You're on, let's go!" And with that, he ushered the four band members onstage, leaving me with Kennedy, John, and Jared.

It was still relatively early: 7:00. Today, though, we still didn't go on for another hour and fifteen minutes.

"I'm gonna go walk around," I said quietly, as I walked past John and down one of the hallways, looking for a bathroom. I found the door that read 'BATHROOM' on it and was about to walk inside, when I felt a firm grip on my right arm. Without even getting a chance to react, I was pulled into a dressing room that was across the hall.

I heard whoever-that-person-was close the door and I was momentarily enclosed in darkness; the lights weren't on. As soon as my 'captor' flicked on the lights, I turned to face them to see what the heck they wanted and why they dragged me into a dressing room.

The person I saw staring back at me, leaning against the now-locked door, made me want to breakdown all over again.