On This Battlefield No One Wins

Sam leaned against the back of the church, breathing in the scent of the freshly mowed lawn and the herb garden that adorned the back yard as he tried to clear his head.

“Shit!” Reilly's voice drifted to him from the offset garage.

Sam's brows furrowed slightly and he headed off in that direction, opening the door to a state of the art garage with Artemis up on blocks.

Reilly was standing over it, a cigarette dangling from her lips and her hand and forearm between the engine and radiator. “Fuck!” She yelled, pulling her arm out and sighing.

Sam walked over. “Let me get it.” He offered.

“I got it.” She snapped, taking a drag from the Marlboro and shoving her arm back inside the car. “Come on, baby... Give it to me.” She purred, smiling as she pulled out a wrench. “See. I can handle it myself.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” He said, folding his arms over his chest and leaning against the wall. “Why didn't you tell me, Reilly?” He asked her.

She started cleaning the grime off the wrench with a shop towel and looked at him. “Tell you what?” She replied.

“You know god damn well, what. About Sammy.” He said angrily.

“Because it's none of your fucking business. He's my son, end of story.” She told him, putting the cleaned wrench away in her huge Craftsman tool drawer and slamming it.

“And who's his father?” He pressed. “Is it me?” He asked, needing to hear it for himself, not just speculate.

She turned, fire in her eyes which contrasted with the icy blue. “No. It's some other asshole I met during my hunts.” She lied easily. “His name was Auburn Daies. He was a hunter. And when I told him, he left.” She said, wiping the engine down with the towel she'd cleaned the wrench with.

Sam stared at her for a while, his anger slowly boiling over. “You fucking bitch.”

Reilly turned to him. “Excuse me?”

“Is that what you told him? Is that what he believes? That his father was some random hunter who left you because he didn't want a kid?” He asked.

“So I changed a few details. The message is the same, Sam.” She crossed her arms over her chest and watched him. “His father was a hunter who left me. The only difference was his name wasn't Auburn Daies and I never told him.”

“I was not a hunter.” He told her. “And I would've helped you take care of him.” He said, his voice softening.

“I didn't want you to. You had your own life. It was one night a million years ago. Because we thought we were going to die. It wasn't a fucking commitment.” She told him.

“So he is mine?” He wondered aloud.

She put the cigarette out and lit another one. “Yes. You are his father.” She admitted quietly.

“And what does he know? About what you do.” He asked.

She shrugged. “That I fought monsters and that they won't hurt him because Aunt Katt and I are looking out for him.” She said, leaning against her car.

“He's three, Reilly! He doesn't need to know that!” He cried, outraged.

“My gods, Sam! We knew when we were little, but we turned out just fine!” She told him.

“But my son shouldn't have to know about them!” He responded.

“He's not yours! He's my son. You just happen to be the other half of his DNA. You have no rights to him.” She said angrily.

“Fuck you!”

“Fuck you!” She screamed. “Get out of here! The gods cursed me the day you came into my life!” She yelled.

His eyes narrowed and he walked out, slamming the door behind him.

She stared at the door for a while in silence, her fingers toying with the silver chain mail bracelet around her wrist. “Forgive me, my love. I didn't mean a word.” She whispered, touching the tri-fold locket around her neck that housed a picture of her son, her brother, and of Sam.

Sam walked back into the house, his brother no where to be seen. He walked through the kitchen, the florescent light overhead casting the only light in the night-darkened church.

He started down the hallway toward the living room, where voices were coming from, but he stopped in front of an open doorway. He glanced in, seeing Sammy asleep on a large bed beneath a stained glass window.

He leaned against the doorframe and watched as his son slept peacefully, his fingers curled around the ear of a dingy dog stuffed animal that he realized was once Reilly's. The same one Sam had given her once for Christmas.

Sam managed a smile and walked in quietly. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the covers tighter around Sammy to make sure he was warm enough, when he noticed a thin leather bracelet around the three year-old's wrist.

“I'm sorry, Sammy. I wish I could've been a good dad.” He whispered, kissing the boy's forehead and walking out of the room.

Dean stumbled out of the kitchen after he was finished with his and Sam's meals, the bag of frozen vegetables still on the welt shaped like a boot heel. He got to the living room and fell onto the couch. “Oh, I'm gonna die.”

“Damn right you are.” Katt spoke up, a large book on her lap as she was curled up on a leather armchair.

“Fuck me.” He groaned, sitting up.

“No thanks. I get that enough from less emotionally challenged individuals.” She told him.

“Ha ha ha.” He muttered, looking at her. “Why did you throw your shoe at me?” He asked her.

She lifted a shoulder, then let it fall. “Closest thing to me. Plus, I'm still pretty pissed off at you for telling me that your life doesn't revolve around you.” She told him. “Not to mention you selling your soul for one year.” She said.

“It's true. My life doesn't revolve around you. It never has--”

“I never said it did. But we're friends, Dean.” She told him, closing her book with a thump.

“AND as far as my soul, that's not your business either.” He finished, looking at her. “You wouldn't understand. You've never had to give up anything, Katt.”

She raised an eyebrow. “No? I gave up a shit ton of things. My family. My friends. My dream college. My safety.” She put her feet down on the hardwood and leaned forward. “Not to mention my name. All for my cousin. To avenge him. To keep Reilly and now Sammy safe from the shit we've had to track and kill. You can't believe the things I've given up, Dean.” She told him.

He looked at her. “Well I've given up tons of things too. I gave up... a lot. For my dad. My brother. You.” He stared into her eyes. “I'd rather have one year left than have my brother rotting in a hole somewhere. Not knowing if he was at peace or in Hell. Knowing that I had to go on without him and my dad... Knowing Sam never got to know his son or that our mom's killer finally got what was coming to him.” He let his head fall into his hands. “He's been my one mission since I was four, Katt. I couldn't just let him go. I couldn't fail him like that.”

She leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest, sitting silently for a while. “You are about an idiot, Dean Winchester. You stupid fuck.”

He looked up at her and smirked. “You've noticed.”

She shook her head. “We'll pool our resources. We'll get you out of this.”

He nodded, finding it easier to give in and let her think he could be saved than tell her the truth and get the book thrown at him.

Reilly walked in a little while later, her eyes rimmed red from crying, to find Dean and Katt sitting in the living room talking.

“Hey, Rei.” Dean said, scooting over to allow her a place to sit on the sofa.

She fell onto the aged leather and propped her feet up on the coffee table. “Sam and I talked. About Sammy.” She told them.

“Holy fuck... What happened?” Katt questioned.

She shrugged. “He yelled. I yelled. We talked. We yelled some more. Then he walked out and I cried.” She managed a false smile. “How I expected it to happen.”

“He's an idiot.” Katt told her in consolation.

“I prefer the term 'fuckass' but that's fine too.” She said, toying with her necklace.

“That's my brother you're talkin' about.” Dean spoke up.

She lifted a shoulder and let it fall. “He's the father of my son. I'm allowed to call him whatever I damn well please.”

He made a face then shrugged his acceptance. “Before you start calling him the most horrible name you can think of, maybe you should know what he's been up to since you two made Sammy.”

Katt walked back in from the kitchen passing Dean a beer and Reilly a Dr. Pepper. “You have information you never shared with us! For shame!” She said, falling into her chair with her own soda.

“Shut up, Katt. This is a very serious situation.” Dean told her, popping the top on the bottle and taking a swig.

“Tell me, Dean.” Reilly told him, turning to face him on the sofa.

He took another swig. “I just thought you should know... He had this girlfriend. Year back. We we lookin' for dad and she... died.”

“Oh shit.” the girls said in unison.

“And that was something you didn't feel we should know before I treated him like a dick?” Reilly questioned.

“Yellow Eyes killed her, Rei. Same way he killed our mom. Not really something you can bring up over dinner.”

She rubbed her eyes. “Great. Just fucking wonderful. Not only do I feel like a terrible friend, I feel like a terrible person in general. I told him he didn't have any rights to Sammy.”

“You can't be blamed for that, Reilly. You did fine without him. He left you in Austin without any word.” Katt stated.

“And did I go to California and profess my love for him? Tell him about his son? Did I give him any clue about anything I should have? No. I can't blame him for being pissed off at me.” She rolled her eyes and stood. “I'm going check on Sammy and go to bed. You're staying, right Dean?”

He looked up. “We have a room.” He told her.

She smirked. “That wasn't really a question. It was simply worded that way to play nice. Now you and your brother get the spare and the sofa bed. Goodnight.” She said, kissing his cheek and walking down the hall.

About three in the morning, Reilly woke up, her eyes flying open. “Sammy?” She whispered, turning on her side to check on her son laying on the other side of the bed.

He slept peacefully, so she turned over and closed her eyes.

“Reilly.” A voice whispered.

She sat up and pointed her nine at the person in her room. “Fuck, Sam. What are you doing in here?” She asked, lowering the gun to her lap.

“Sorry. I didn't intend on scaring you.” He told her, his arms folded over his chest.

She swung her legs over the side and pulled on her robe. “Did you need something?” She asked.

He looked over at Sammy. “I wanted to apologize. For overreacting earlier. I understand why you did what you did.”

She smiled. “Come on. I'll make us coffee.” She said, kissing Sammy's forehead and walked out of the room.

“That's my bracelet.” He said following her.

She dropped a filter and the grounds into the coffee machine. “Yeah, it is. You threw it at me, remember?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “We didn't part on the best of terms, did we?”

She smirked. “Yeah. I didn't tell Katt, Dean.. anybody. About our fight. I kinda told them we didn't speak at all.”

He sat at the table. “Thanks.”

She nodded and sat at the table next to him. “You didn't need the trouble. But anyway, that's in the past. He never takes it off. I told him it was his daddy's. He gave it to him before he went off to fight.”

He sat silently for a minute. “So you never told him.”

She smiled. “He thinks his dad is off fighting monsters. That's why he's not around. He's too young to understand.”

“You know... I never thought you'd be the one to have a kid.” He told her.

She laughed. “I could say the same about you, Sam Winchester.”

He shook his head. “Tell me about him.”

Reilly stood and poured them each a cup of coffee, taking her seat again. “He's a stubborn little thing. Don't know where he gets it from.” She told him, laughing. “Really though, he's a great kid. Adorable. Kind. Funny as all hell. Incredibly smart.” She said.

He nodded thoughtfully. “I'm sorry I missed everything.” He told her. “I really would've been here if I knew.” Sam's eyes fell.

“I know.” She whispered. “And what I told you earlier... I didn't mean it. You have just as much rights to him as I do.” She patted his hand. “Just... be careful. I don't want him endangered... That's why I gave it up.”

He linked his fingers with hers. “Did you ever find it?”

She shook her head. “I got close once. That's where this scar came from.” She said, patting her shoulder blade with her free hand. “Then the trail got cold after Austin. And Sammy came along.” She shrugged. “It's still out there somewhere.”

“Then come with us. Me and Dean came to talk to you and Katt about it. I assume Dean and Katt talked it over earlier. We don't have enough hunters in the world to handle what we let out of the Gate. We need you.” He told her.

She pulled away from him. “I can't. I have Sammy.”

He smiled at her. “I understand. But wouldn't you rather be out there doing what you love. Making the world a better place for him.”

She bit her lip. “I have to think about it. Why don't you go back to bed. I'll talk to you in the morning.” She stated, standing.

He stood and hugged her. “Thanks, Rei. For taking care of him. And letting me be a part of his life.”

She hugged back. “I can't deny you anything Winchester. It was the suckiest part about growing up with you.” She joked, kissing his cheek and heading for her room.

“Rei.” Sam spoke up, watching her walk away.

“Yeah, Sam?” She asked, turning to face him.

He paused a moment, then shook his head. “Nothing. Sweet dreams.”

She nodded. “Sweet dreams, Sam.”