Falling Into Shadows

The bittersweet taste of coffee tainted my slightly parted lips.

Unlike yesterday, the sleeping spell had no effect on me. Although I hadn’t slept well last night either, the caffeine from my black coffee had easily raised my spirits and compelled me to feel energetic at eight o’ clock in the morning.

I skipped to Geometry with a smile tugging my lips upward. I felt giddy from breathing in the air of freedom and the urge to laugh with glee. I no longer had to starve myself, for it was now the third day of the month, and I could finally eat an orange or a granola bar during lunch. I was beyond ecstatic, and not even Geometry class could lower my spirits.

My coffee cup abruptly fell out of my hand, and the remnants of the coffee began to trickle on the marble floor. I pouted at the sight before I picked up the empty cup with temporary sadness.

“I’m so sorry, Annabelle! I really didn’t mean to bump into you,” a girl said, making a napkin soak the dark liquid before it could stain the floor.

“It’s fine, really. Don’t worry about it.” I looked up from the ground and saw that the girl was in my Geometry and English class. I thought her name was Kayleigh, but I wasn’t so sure, for this was my first time encountering her personally. “Besides, I was going to throw away the rest of it because it was starting to get cold.”

“Oh, okay then. I truly am sorry though. I promise I’ll buy you a new one some time and maybe we can hang out afterward, but I understand if you don’t want to because you’re too busy socializing with your friends and—”

“You don’t need to buy me another one, but I don’t mind hanging out after school one day,” I interrupted her before she could finish speaking at an abnormally quick pace. I actually didn’t know her at all, but she seemed awfully friendly and lively. I also didn’t mind her vivacity in the slightest bit.

She grinned. “That’s great! Do you want to sit next to me in Geometry today? You’ll be doing me a favor by taking Ethan’s seat.”

I accepted her offer and nodded. “Has he been bothering you lately?”

“Yes, he has been. You have no idea how truly annoying he is! And you’re so lucky that you don’t have to sit next to him! He’s always tossing tiny pieces of paper into my hair, and unfortunately for me, my hair just happens to be curly, so the crumbled up pieces are always staying still in my wild curls!”

“Perhaps he’s only doing that to get your attention. I think it’s possible that you may have a not-so-secret admirer.” I sat down on the seat next to her, which was the second seat across from the yellow wall, in the back of the classroom. We were a few minutes early, so our teacher, Mr. Wilson, hadn’t yelled at us yet to stop talking and disrupting his lesson. I honestly had no idea how anyone expected their students to focus in his class when the walls were painted a horrendous shade of yellow. We wouldn’t be concentrating on the lesson, for we would be trying to figure out a way to prevent ourselves from becoming blind. And the fluorescent lights weren’t helping any of us regain our eyesight back.

Her cheeks turned a darker shade of pink before she grimaced. “I hope you’re wrong. He’s extremely exasperating, and I can’t date a guy who thinks that throwing pieces of paper into a girl’s hair is an effective method to winning a girl’s heart.”

A knowing smile played on my lips. “Oh, yes, of course. Who would ever want to date a guy who portrays such immature behavior?”

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I know for a fact that I would never want that quality in a potential boyfriend.”

“Kayleigh and Annabelle, if you will both stop disrupting my class with your endless chatter, then perhaps I can finally begin today’s lesson,” Mr. Wilson said, giving us a disapproving look and unknowingly informing me that the girl I was talking to was indeed Kayleigh.

I saw that the rest of the class was also present in the classroom, and that class had begun as well. I looked down to the ground sheepishly as I said, “I’m sorry, sir.”

“Well, I’m not,” Kayleigh muttered under her breath.

“What was that Miss. Burns? Would you like to receive a detention this afternoon? It would be rather unfortunate to have to stay in school for an extra hour when the weather is surprisingly nice today.”

The class snickered at his offer, while she scowled at his response.

“No, sir, I’d prefer it if you wouldn’t. I’m sorry for my impertinence.”

He seemed satisfied with her reply and began his pointless lesson. I gave Kayleigh a sympathetic look, while she smiled in response, reassuring me that she was okay. She turned her gaze away from me and to the board, so she could feverishly begin to transfer the notes onto her notebook.

While she actually paid attention to the lesson, or at least she pretended to, I drifted into doodle land as I aimlessly drew intricate patterns on the edges of the paper for the rest of the hour until it was time for us to get to our next class. I bid Kayleigh goodbye and told her that I would see her tomorrow morning.

The last two hours passed by in a blur, and before I knew it, it was already lunchtime, and I was listening to Jessica chatter with the others in the group. Lindsey wasn’t here today, so I didn’t have anyone I could talk to. Peyton was talking to Jessica about the movie they watched in history, while Savannah was busy finishing her English homework and listening to their conversation.

I gazed down at the table and saw my lunch—a granola bar (118) and a fruit cup (70). I broke the granola bar into small pieces before I chewed each portion with a cautious bite. My tongue dissolved the granola in seconds, while my stomach yearned for more. I fed it with various fruits to shush it and make it stop growling at me with odium.

“Annabelle, don’t forget to record the number of calories you just consumed in your notepad,” Jessica prompted me, smiling.

“I won’t,” I replied, writing the numbers on a new sheet and watching them ruin the blank page. I had consumed 188 calories so far, but my stomach didn’t care of the number, for it wanted more food.

“I’m not sure if you were listening or not, but today’s tip is to pinch your fat whenever you’re feeling hungry. I can guarantee that it’ll make you think twice about eating that chocolate cake in your refrigerator.”

“I wouldn’t dream of eating it in the first place because I hate chocolate.” I thought I had already notified her of this, but I guessed I hadn’t done so. It didn’t matter if she knew or not because she wasn’t in charge of making my meals.

“Do you want my hot chocolate then? It’s gotten a bit cold, but I’m sure it’s still safe to drink,” she offered, clearly overlooking what I just said.

I shook my head in response and didn’t bother to hide my disgust for her drink. I inconspicuously pinched the fat on my stomach, which made all of my thoughts of food temporarily dissolve into dust.

The warning bell prompted everyone to get to his or her next class. I said goodbye to my friends before I walked to Art with my dying energy. I thought the effects of caffeine were beginning to wear off, making me want to fall into a dreamless sleep. But I knew better than to succumb because my Art teacher, Mrs. Silver, would look down on me for falling asleep in her class, while I should be drawing shadows on the blank canvas.

Mrs. Silver told us to paint or draw whatever we wanted, but warned that her class was not a free period. She prompted us to start creating a portfolio for the end of the semester because they were due in less than three months. And she didn’t want to be responsible for our failing grade in her class nor receive phone calls from angry parents. She was actually a tolerant teacher if the class would use their time wisely, and she would only let out an exasperated sigh if someone broke one of the art supplies. But her nearly silent response was enough to terrify anyone, for there never seemed to be any words to describe how vexed she would feel.

I used a thin piece of charcoal to outline five bay leaves before I carefully drew the shadows of each leaf. A part of the first leaf was cut off from the canvas, while the other four were taking up most of the space on it. I added darker hues to the isolated leaf, while the others had much lighter shades of gray. The shadows of the lonely leaf were also obscuring it from allowing the other leaves notice it.

It was strange how each leaf was unique in some way, but everyone overlooked all of the bay leaves. After all, they were only leaves, and they didn’t mean anything important. They would eventually all fade into dust and no longer be seen. Their shadows would be gone, which would only erase any traces of remembrance.

But I would still see their obscure shadows.