The Counting Game.
Nine, Ten.
“You can’t go back there.”
“Are you fucking crazy? It’s just gonna happen again!”
“I can’t let you do this…”
“Please don’t go, you can stay with me. Just…please, don’t.”
People have wondered for so long why I continuously forgive Zack for the things he does. Is it because I’m crazy? Or maybe because I have some kind of odd pain fetish. No, no.
I just love him, and I understand.
I understand that he can’t help the things that he does, and I will continue to try to help him through it. He’s made progress. It might be invisible to the naked eye, to someone who isn’t there every day to note the minor changes in his attitude.
I have patience, and I have nothing but faith in him. I love him unconditionally, without regret. I will never regret my decisions, no matter what harm they’ve done to me.
~
I smile weakly as the nurse walks in with Zack. He looks pained, but excited. Excited that I’ve been so patient with him, and that I’m going home with him today. He stands still in the corner as the nurse helps me out of bed and into the wheelchair she’d brought in with her.
Once I’m in, he comes over and pecks my lips lightly. I see apology in his eyes, as it always is. I wish, more than anything, that he would stop apologizing. I wish that he would stop blaming himself.
“I love you,” he whispers before walking behind me, grabbing the handles on my chair, and beginning to push me out of the room.
I smile widely, happy to be getting out of the hospital. It’s so bland and horribly uncomfortable there. My face drops, though, when I catch sight of the boys in the waiting room.
They all look pained, but Matt and Johnny are especially upset. Johnny, my sweet Johnny, he looks like he’s been crying. I don’t want him to cry for me. Matt looks…enraged. The look in his eyes scares me, because it looks like something I’ve seen many times before.
I reach out for them, my lower lip quivering. I want to embrace them and calm them. They don’t come to me, and I see an emotion flash through both of their eyes.
Fear…
“If you hurt her one more goddamned time, Zack…”
A low growl comes from behind me.
I clench my eyes shut.
Nine, ten.
Now it starts again.
“Are you fucking crazy? It’s just gonna happen again!”
“I can’t let you do this…”
“Please don’t go, you can stay with me. Just…please, don’t.”
People have wondered for so long why I continuously forgive Zack for the things he does. Is it because I’m crazy? Or maybe because I have some kind of odd pain fetish. No, no.
I just love him, and I understand.
I understand that he can’t help the things that he does, and I will continue to try to help him through it. He’s made progress. It might be invisible to the naked eye, to someone who isn’t there every day to note the minor changes in his attitude.
I have patience, and I have nothing but faith in him. I love him unconditionally, without regret. I will never regret my decisions, no matter what harm they’ve done to me.
~
I smile weakly as the nurse walks in with Zack. He looks pained, but excited. Excited that I’ve been so patient with him, and that I’m going home with him today. He stands still in the corner as the nurse helps me out of bed and into the wheelchair she’d brought in with her.
Once I’m in, he comes over and pecks my lips lightly. I see apology in his eyes, as it always is. I wish, more than anything, that he would stop apologizing. I wish that he would stop blaming himself.
“I love you,” he whispers before walking behind me, grabbing the handles on my chair, and beginning to push me out of the room.
I smile widely, happy to be getting out of the hospital. It’s so bland and horribly uncomfortable there. My face drops, though, when I catch sight of the boys in the waiting room.
They all look pained, but Matt and Johnny are especially upset. Johnny, my sweet Johnny, he looks like he’s been crying. I don’t want him to cry for me. Matt looks…enraged. The look in his eyes scares me, because it looks like something I’ve seen many times before.
I reach out for them, my lower lip quivering. I want to embrace them and calm them. They don’t come to me, and I see an emotion flash through both of their eyes.
Fear…
“If you hurt her one more goddamned time, Zack…”
A low growl comes from behind me.
I clench my eyes shut.
Nine, ten.
Now it starts again.
♠ ♠ ♠
The End. Thoughts, opinions? :D