Shattered

The house was quiet, much too quiet for the sad man's liking. He could feel tears in his eyes as he walked through the empty house. No parents, no brothers, no one except for himself and his echoing sobs.

Looking out the window and seeing the ground quickly covering with the newly fallen snow, it made his chest tighten. It was beautiful to look at, especially when he hadn't seen snow in more years than he could count. But as beautiful as it was, it was just as ugly. The pristine, untouched whiteness of it all only made the ache in his chest worse.

Making his way downstairs, in desperate need of a release, the brother Jonas fought back the tears that threatened to fall.

Inside the once beloved music room, the distraught man made his way straight towards the piano in the far corner of the room. It wasn't as large as the last one but it fit its purpose just fine. Sitting himself down on the small bench in front of the black piano, he carefully albeit a little slowly ran his fingers over the white keys.

The past year of his life had been nothing but a waste. He'd loved and lost without ever getting the chance to express how he felt. He had no one to blame, really, no one but himself. If he'd only had the courage to speak up, tell the person just how deeply in love he was, then maybe he wouldn't have lost the only man, the only person, who he knew could ever love him back.

Slowly, still so carefully, he began to play. The soft notes echoing throughout the music room and already he could feel the ache in his chest ease. Music was his release, had been for more years than he could remember.

“So empty, can't feel no more,” His voice steady, unwavering as he felt his heart begin to break once more. “As I'm left with my tears on the floor, I wait for my heart to mend, but you keep tearing a hole,” The song might not of been one he or his brothers had written but it was as close to describing how he felt as anyone would ever get.

Being in love was supposed to be the best time in a persons life, or so he was told. Obviously, it was a lie. If the past year was anything to go by, love was nothing more than a traitorous bitch created in the hearts of unsuspecting idiots.

“Inside, I'm so lost, in the middle of my heart, its a battlefield of love, I've been fighting for too long,” The words hitched in his throat as he tried to sing. It had been so long since he'd sang and enjoyed it. Where he'd once sang of love and relationships, all he could manage now were those of heartbreak and defeat.

“And now I'm shattered, from the chip in my heart, kept taking it til it broke, and oh how it hurts, felt it slip from your hand, hit the ground and now its shattered. I'm so shattered.”

He'd watched, all year he'd watched as the man he loved continued to not to notice. As if it weren't obvious enough, the trailing after him like a lost puppy, the subtle yet always there touches to his back or shoulder, the undying devotion in his eyes as he looked at him. Thinking back on it now, he wished he'd never grown old enough to fall in love.

“What am I still here for, could it be that I'm just waiting, hoping you'd rescue me and put the pieces together again,” As the tears rolled down his flushed cheeks, he sang on, needing so much to release the pain he felt inside. “Inside, I'm so lost, in the middle of my heart, its a battlefield of love, I've been fighting for too long.”

Taking a deep breath, he moved his fingers expertly over the white keys of the piano, his tempo picking up as he abruptly stood from his seat, the small bench falling to the floor with a clatter.

“And now I'm shattered, from this chip in my heart, kept taking it til it broke, and oh how it hurts, felt it slip from your hand, hit the ground and now its shattered,” Tilting his head back, and releasing a sorrowful sob, he sang still. “I'm shattered, cut from with inside,”

As the hot tears fell from his cheeks, wetting his hands and keys as he played, he cried. He cried for the love he'd cherished so much, he cried for the love he'd lost before it even had a chance to start, he cried for every foolish person who ever believed that they'd find their one true love. It was an empty dream, a foolish wish, one he'd be damned if he fell for again.

“Tell me what you're really here for, if you never really loved me, I gave my all but it still wasn't enough,” His voice broke as the words hit home. “Cause all you had to say was you ain't lookin' for commitment instead of telling me what I wanted to hear, you took my emotions and scattered them on the ground, so hard just to pick up and move on with life, again,” He could himself losing the battle within. The walls he'd worked so hard to build were crumbling with each word he sang.

So hard that his fingers were throbbing he banged his hands against the ugly white of the piano keys. The song was almost over now, his time here was done. Soon the house would be alive again with his family and friends and once again, the mask he wore would have to be put back in place, the smiling face of the picture perfect son, no one ever suspecting the broken boy that lie underneath the surface.

“And now I'm shattered, ohh, from the chip in my heart, kept taking it til it broke, oh how it hurts, felt it slip from your hand, hit the ground and now its shattered, I'm so shattered...shattered, cut from with inside, shattered, can't believe you left me, so shattered.”

With the final notes of the song now but a ghost on his tongue, Joe Jonas collapsed onto the music room floor in front of the piano his older brother had given him as a goodbye gift. Kevin, the older brother he'd loved so much for so long and lost far too quickly. Curling into himself, Joe continued to cry as the ache in his chest returned.

In the entry of the music room, with tears of his own rolling down his pale cheeks, Nick Jonas cried for his brother and for the sudden realization that Joe would only ever love Kevin and never him. Never the little brother who looked up to him as if he himself got up in the morning just to put the sun in the early morning sky.

With Joe's heartbreaking words echoing in his ears, Nick turned and left his brother to mourn the loss of a love that was never given a chance to grow, his own broken heart shattered on the music room floor with the man he'd loved his entire life.