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Thalion Faer, Doltha Hún

Caras Galadhon

Haldir and his brothers had a familiar Elven drink to share with us all when we awoke. Like all things about elves, even this was magical. We were told only to drink a little, and within seconds I could feel the effects. I felt lighter, swifter, happier and more hopeful. Before, when I was young and staying with Lord Elrond, he had given me a similar concoction on a few occasions. Never did I know what was in it, but it was not a thing one questioned. When we were ready to continue on, Haldir stopped us.

“It is already a risk allowing the dwarf to pass through our lands, but we cannot allow him to see the ways to the gates. He must be blindfolded.”

“I will not walk blindfolded like a beggar or prisoner!” Gimli protested, taking a step towards Haldir and his brothers. “I am no spy. My folk have never had dealings with any of the servants of the enemy. Neither have we done any harm to the Elves.”

“Haldir, he is no more likely to betray us than I am, or any of our other companions for that matter.” I added, understanding their apprehension, but knowing that Gimli was right.

“It is the law of this land; I am not the master of the law and cannot set it aside.” Haldir replied.

“Either I go forward free,” Gimli said “Or I go back to my own land where I am known to be true of word.”

“You have come thus far; you must be brought before the Lord and the Lady. They shall judge your word.”

“Then we shall all be blindfolded.” Aragorn announced. Legolas looked at the ranger, enraged. “Come! If I am still to lead this company, you must do as I bid. This is what is best.”

“A merry troop of fools we shall look like!” Boromir cried out. “Will Haldir lead us along on a string like dogs?”

“I shall lead you well, and the paths are smooth and straight. Come, the day is growing shorter and we have yet a ways to travel.” The three brothers began to blindfold us all, and Legolas’ final remark made me smile yet frown at once.

“Alas for the folly of these days! Here all are enemies of one enemy, and yet I must walk blind, while the sun is merry in the woodland under the leaves of gold!”

Much like Boromir had assumed, we were given a thin Elven rope to take hold of before being blindfolded. I had no fear, having instead complete trust in the brothers. It saddened me that the world had come to this. As Legolas had said, we were all enemies of one enemy, yet we were so unwilling to trust the allies we had. If you were not from the land you travelled through you were a spy. There were times when such shadows did not loom over these corners of the world. There were times when the people of the world were one.

I tried to imagine what Caras Galadhon would look like as we trailed along for a long while. I imagined there to be many elaborate lets and stairs and an unparallel beauty laced into every inch of the realm. It was the least one could expect from a place like Lothlórien, the city of Elves, and of Galadriel. I wondered if we would meet her, the legendary queen of the Elves. It was said she was the most beautiful creature in all of middle earth, so beautiful even that orcs themselves would halt at the blinding sight of her beauty.

This was what I preoccupied my mind with: daydreams. I painted the blank canvas of my mind with dreams and hopes and the little bit of knowledge I had. It helped to pass the time, even though Haldir spoke every now and again. He was truthful in his description of the path; it was indeed quite easy to walk along. Everything in this forest seemed to be perfect; I only wished I had the privilege of seeing more of it.

After some time the sound of water drew closer, and Haldir announced that we’d come to the great stream Celebrant. He instructed us to remove our blindfolds while we crossed, and then proceeded to give a low call, like a whistle, as we took in the massive stream before us. It ran swift and deep, and I wondered how we were to get across. Haldir took an end of the rope and tossed it across the water, where an elf seemingly appeared out of nowhere and fastened it around a tree on the bank. Haldir tied his end to a tree and ran lightly across and back, showing his perfect balance and demonstrating how we were to cross.

“I can walk this path,” Legolas began. “But the others have not this skill. Must they swim?”

“No!” Haldir exclaimed. “A great company of orcs have already treaded their foul feet through this water; it shall be poisoned no further. We have two more ropes, one shoulder-high and another half-high, hold these and you should all be able to cross easily.”

Legolas went across first, going slowly before the hobbits in case one of them was to slip. I followed closely after them, offering words of encouragement now and again as they hobbled across. Once we were all across, our blindfolds were once more placed over our eyes and we were led like the blind nine we were. Weaving in and out of trees much beyond the span of our lives, beyond the span of even the songs of the woods. Winding our way to refuge.

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"Caras Galadhon… the heart of Elvendom on earth. Realm of the Lord Celeborn and of Galadriel, Lady of Light."

The trees here were three times the size as the ones on the outskirts of the forest. They reached up so high the tops could not be seen, and their boughs were big enough that giant lets jutted out all around and formed entire rooms. I had never seen a place more beautiful in my life.

Everything here seemed to be alive; glowing with an undeniable beauty that made one think this was all a dream. How was it possible that a corner of the world like this could exist, when just across the misty mountains war was being waged? In the mere seconds our blindfolds had been off, I fell in love. There was magic in everything here, blowing in the wind and growing in the grass and falling with the leaves and laced within the trees.

It felt as if here, one was safe. Here, in Caras Galadhon in some unknown part of Lothlórien, one could breathe. Death did not happen here, there was no real sadness here, just peaceful existence. As we began to ascend a large staircase I began to wonder if perhaps this was what the grey havens would resemble. I meant to ask Gandalf when we rested, but then was swarmed by the memories of Moria.

I supposed the only sadness in Lothlórien was brought here.

The stairs were crafted out of lets layered on top of one another, and they wound up to a giant platform. Haldir led us to its base and took his place off to the side as the nine of us apprehensively hovered closer. I held my breath for a few moments as two glowing figures appeared at the top of the stair. They glided hand in hand down until they were before us; these two unbelievably beautiful creatures. Their purity radiated off of them in the form of light, but not the kind of light from the sun or the moon. This was a light of its own.

"The Enemy knows you have entered here. What hope you had in secrecy is now gone." Lord Celeborn said. From the corner of my eye I saw Aragorn shift slightly; he had taken over leadership of us all. "Nine there are here, yet ten there were, set out from Rivendell. Tell me, where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him… I can no longer see him from afar."

There was an uneasiness that crept over us all, and I hung my head in shame. It still did not seem real, his passing. Some part of me believed, or still wished to believe it was all only a quite terrible dream. But no amount of wishing or hope would erase the truth from my heart.

"Gandalf the Grey did not pass the borders of this land…” As Lady Galadriel spoke, it was a tragic kind of beauty. Her voice was like a chorus of bells, but bells at a burial. “He has fallen into shadow."

"He was taken by both Shadow and Flame: a Balrog of Morgoth.” Legolas’ voice was strained and quiet, speaking the words none of us could say. “For we went needlessly into the net of Moria."

"Needless were none of the deeds of Gandalf in life. We do not yet know his whole purpose." Galadriel said. "Do not let the great emptiness of Khazad-dûm fill your heart, Gimli, son of Glóin. The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”

At this I looked up, unprepared for her eyes piercing mine. They caught me in a cage, holding me down while she seemed to peer within the walls of my soul. It was very intimidating, not being able to stop it. In my head I heard words, words that were not spoken aloud. It was Galadriel’s voice, but her mouth did not move. She said Thalion faer, Doltha hún; Brennil ned Bellas. For a moment I could not breathe. Strong soul, hidden heart.Was she analyzing me? Lord Celeborn spoke as she then proceeded to catch the rest of the Fellowship.

"What now becomes of this Fellowship? Without Gandalf, hope is lost."

"The quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while the company is true." Galadriel said. “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now and rest for you are weary with sorrow and much toil. Tonight you will sleep in peace.”

Haldir stepped before us, bowing to Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel and then signaling us all to follow him. However, my name was called from behind me and I could not follow the rest of the Fellowship. Turning slowly, I was looking at Lady Galadriel motioning for me to go with her. It took a moment for my feet to obey, but eventually they moved towards her and we began to walk a separate path by ourselves.

“I had expected you sooner.” She said simply as she led me down more and more stairs. I nodded as we came upon a meadow of sorts with large rocks that were carved into perfectly flat benches. Beckoning for me to sit, I made myself comfortable after having traveling so long without rest. “I understand the difficulty of the task at hand, for all of you. But Lord Elrond speaks of another task you are at terms with, within.”

“Yes, one that is not so easy to decipher as I would have liked.”

“Vanya,” She said, tilting my head up so I looked into her eyes. “Not a thing in the world is easy and good. But your gift is one that can cause your ruin, if you do not contain it.”

“I do not know how.” I said helplessly.

“Give me your hands.” She instructed. Without hesitation, I placed mine in her palms, and waited. “Bring to your mind your most vivid vision. Feel it. Smell it. Embrace it. Allow it to consume you.”

I searched my mind for the time when I was hit hardest by a vision, deciding on the time I had see Frodo attacked by the Nazgûl. I breathed in the vision, taking it into my veins and my heart and my lungs. I concentrated my best, replaying the short scene again and again in my mind, despite how much it unnerved me.

“Now breathe it out, Vanya. Expel it.” In one solid breathe I released my body’s hold on the vision, feeling a tingling sensation as it began to fade. Opening my eyes, Galadriel motioned to our hands. It was a vaguely familiar sight. There, connecting our skin was a silvery substance that seemed not to be smoke, nor liquid, but rather something in between. My instinct was to pull away, but Galadriel kept our fingers locked.

I watched as the substance grew, and after it filled our hands she joined all four of our hands together and pooled the substance. Pouring it into my hands, she instructed me to pull at its edges. In doing so, the material stretched into a netting of sorts, and I held it in wonder.

“The memory of the vision is still within you, although it will no longer be as clear if you should choose to recall it. If you wish to keep this memory, you must push it against your skin. You will have the vision once more, much as it came to you the first time. You may also choose to give the vision to another, and allow them to see what you have seen.”

“Is this true?” I breathed, marveling at the memory in my hands. She smiled, the most beautiful smile I had ever seen, and nodded. Hesitantly, I brought the silvery thing to my face, and as it collided with my skin it felt like water. I took a sharp intake of breath, and was lapsed into a familiar place.

Frodo and the other hobbits hold their swords awkwardly in front of them, eyes frozen at the sight of the advancing Nazgûl. Sam lunges, but is cast away. Merry and Pippin stay in front of Frodo, trying to protect him, but they too are pushed aside like dust. Frodo stumbles, falling backwards and dropping his sword. The leader of the Nazgûl approaches as Frodo takes out the ring. He believes it will hide him, save him.

He slips it on and his world turns to ghostly images, the once cloaked wraiths now in plain sight. Their old and pale skin is warping around the edges as one edges closer. He reaches out for the ring, and the ring pulls Frodo’s hand towards the ghost hand. Frodo struggles with the invisible force, pulling his hand back to him. With one swift stab, the Nazgûl’s blade pierces the hobbit’s skin.


“With practice you will also be able to move and communicate should you be foreseeing at a dangerous time.”

“How is this possible?”

“You must first give in. I assume that this has been something you fight out of fear, yes?” I nodded shamefully, and she smiled once more. “By abandoning fear you will see how much of a gift this truly is.”

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I sat in the middle of a meadow; in the midst of long grass and cool night air. My fingers absent-mindedly traced the frame of the cold metal around my neck, busy with the energy of my busy mind. I had a heavy heart because I asked Lady Galadriel a question, and I asked Lady Galadriel a question because I had a heavy heart. She replied, the fates are not often wrong. I had questioned, do all my visions come true?

There was no doubt in my mind that she could see into my thoughts, and more than likely knew of which vision I was referring to. But I still could not fathom the idea; for me it was not but a very bad dream. It bothered me so because I cared so deeply for Boromir and could not endure the thought of losing him, after just getting him back. He was like a brother…No, that wasn’t the right word. It was different than that. The vision bothered me so much because I didn’t know when it might take place.

The vision bothered me so much because I was still in love with Boromir.

As much as I had tried to believe otherwise, I still loved him. And I was almost positive he felt the same way. But it was as if there was an obstacle between us, at least on my part. Some unknown presence stopped me from acting on it. I knew not why, but it simply was. The elves began to sing a lament for Gandalf, and as their grief-ridden words flowed beautifully through the air Aragorn came and took a seat in the grass beside me. It was only with his presence I realized I was crying.

“Something troubles you.” His voice was quite and comforting, almost like a physical gesture, and as his words hung in the air more conclusions rolled into my heart. I did not know when it had started; I only knew that it existed. The light-yet-heavy feeling highlighting my nerves brought to life the truth.

The vision bothered me so much because I was beginning to love Aragorn.

“Gandalf’s passing is indeed a troubling event.” My voice was weak and quiet, a small tremor causing my hands to dance. I slid them between my legs and kept my eyes forward, looking into the darkness of the forest. Whenever I was with one, I thought of the other. And as if on cue, Boromir came into the meadow. It made me want to cry even more. The vision could not become true.

"Take some rest.” Aragorn said, getting up from his spot as Boromir replaced it. “These borders are well protected."

"I will find no rest here.” Boromir replied, halting Aragorn’s retreat. “I heard her voice inside my head. She spoke of my father and the fall of Gondor. She said to me, 'Even now, there is hope left.' But I cannot see it. It is long since we had any hope."

“Hope is a dangerous thing to lose, Boromir.” I said in almost a trance. It occurred to me afterwards that although I had replied to his words, they were meant more for myself.

"My father is a noble man, but his rule is failing. And now our… our people lose faith. He looks to me to make things right and I — I would do it. I would see the glory of Gondor restored." He hung his head in silence as I tried to push the thoughts of our childhood out of my mind. It was only furthering the breaking of my heart. "Have you ever seen it Aragorn? The White Tower of Ecthelion, glimmering like a spike of pearl and silver. Its banners caught high in the morning breeze. Have you ever been called home by the clear ringing of silver trumpets?"

"I have seen the White City, long ago." Aragorn’s voice was almost sad, which brought back all the memories of how much he detested the idea of being ruler of Gondor.

"One day, our paths will lead us there.” He said, placing a hand on both Aragorn and mine’s shoulder. “And the tower guard shall take up the call: "'The Lords of Gondor have returned!'"

I smiled, nodding. At the beginning of this journey home was all I could think of; it was the only place I wanted to go. And now, it was the one place I didn’t want to think about. It only succeeded in troubling me more with anxious thoughts and worries. Taking a deep breath I pushed off of the ground, announcing that I would be going to bed.

Arriving at the camp that the elves had generously set up for us, I smiled at the fact that all the hobbits and Gimli had found peace in sleep. Legolas was no doubt wandering the woods with Haldir, Rúmil and Orophin. I wandered over to my bed, slipping off my boots and basking my skin in the cool feeling of grass. It was a privilege I had long taken for granted, and had long forgotten. Sliding into bed, I enjoyed the sensation of the mattress I had been longing for for weeks. It was extremely more pleasant than cold stone.

But not even the most comfortable bed in all of middle earth could ease my clustered mind.
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