Kare Uta
san.
Kai looked nervous as he slid his hand into Aoi’s, his head dipping a little as it did when he blushed, and he gave a small smile to the doctor as he entered the room. The doctor himself seemed to not have the right words, and that made Kai seem utterly speechless. Aoi glanced between them, confused, and waited for something to be said, giving Kai’s hand a comforting squeeze as the silence ensued.
The doctor seemed almost unwilling to reveal whatever discovery he’d made from the tests he’d run on the drummer, and that in itself made Aoi anxious; he’d promised Kai that he was positive it was nothing big, and he would be in the doghouse for sure if it were something that would keep the drummer from performing.
“Well?” he asked, trying not to sound harsh for Kai’s sake, but watching the doctor expectantly as he fidgeted with his glasses, looked down for a second, and then met the guitarist’s gaze. “What’s going on with him?”
The doctor cleared his throat nervously, and he seated himself on the rolling chair in front of the pair. “Your symptoms, Yutaka-san, were quite common, and, though not usual for a man, still lead to something quite possible, as I’ve seen from your results.” Kai let his gaze flicker upward to meet the doctor’s, and he felt his stomach turn over as he realized that he was not going to like what he was about to hear. “It would seem that you have the ability to bear children, Yutaka-san. I would guess that you are nine weeks into pregnancy.”
Kai blinked, opened his mouth, and promptly shut it again. Pregnant. He tried the word a couple of times in his mind, trying to wrap his head around it. Vomiting, the beginnings of ridiculous cravings, feeling much too tired much too often…it was all there. His gender, though, he’d thought would safeguard him from a solution like this one. Being completely honest with himself, he realized that he would have been perfectly happy with a month-long illness that could be cured with some medicine and a good night’s rest. But a pregnancy was something he hadn’t been prepared for. It had never been evident to him that it would be possible.
The doctor watched him process his words warily, and he adjusted his glasses once again before he continued. “You’ll need to make regular appointments to check on the status of both the baby and the pregnancy.” He seemed almost afraid of the blank expression on the drummer’s face, and he waited a few seconds before glancing over at the guitarist beside Kai, whose hand was being squeezed tightly, and he felt a little less leery as he realized that the ebony-haired man seemed to be more stunned than anything. “And…unless there is anything else you would like to discuss, I have no other information to give you.”
Kai’s mouth opened as he finally found words, and he shut it with a huff before momentarily closing his eyes and taking a breath. His hand tightly squeezed Aoi’s, relenting moments later, and then he allowed himself to open his eyes to peer at the doctor that now stood at the door. “About my drumming, isha-san,” he said, and his voice sounded surprisingly even. “My band…” he felt Aoi flinch beside him, “our band has yet to finish recording, and there are still songs that do not have my drum tracks on them.” He drew in another breath, and he released it as he finished, “I need to know if I can still play.”
The doctor sighed. “I would express caution, Yutaka-san,” he said. “But I also trust that you know your body’s limits. No drumming after the third month, and I should say none at all. Any undue stress on your body can be very damaging, Yutaka-san.” His voice seemed chiding, and Kai considered glaring at him and reminding him that he wasn’t a child, despite the fact that he was apparently soon to have one. “Absolutely no live performances, and see what you can do to convince your band to finish the drums alternatively…I strongly suggest that you relax until your first appointment, when we can be sure of the baby’s status.”
Kai nodded, absorbing the information, feeling his heart break a little at the thought of the fans, who had been waiting a year for new material from the band. “No lives, limited recording…of course.” His voice sounded strained, and to Aoi, the man that knew his smiles best, the smile on the drummer’s face was the most forced smile he’d managed in a while. It didn’t last long, and it was back to his tense expression within a matter of seconds. “So I’m to have the baby, then,” he said, and he couldn’t allow himself to make it sound like a question. It was a statement, a realization that no matter what, his life would never be the same.
“It seems that is your option, hai. Your body wouldn’t be able to handle the alternative.” Kai nodded again; he understood that term well enough. “I would advise that you make an appointment for your first checkup when you leave.” Another nod. Kai could feel his heart sinking. “Good luck until then, Yutaka-san.”
The doctor left, and Kai bowed his head to stare down at his torso. He lifted the material of his shirt a little, and he frowned as he noticed that the skin of his abdomen was taut; it hadn’t looked like that the last time he’d truly looked at himself. “A baby,” he murmured, and he touched his hand to the surprisingly warm skin of his abdomen. He frowned. He’d been counting on being told that he was ill and that he would have to sleep it off and take medicine. He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that his body was genetically programmed for something like carrying a child. “Oh, Aoi-chan, how did we ever get into this...” He hung his head, and he felt the first of the tears sting at his eyes.
“Kai-chan?”
“I want to go home, Aoi-chan,” the drummer said quietly, and he sniffled, lifting his hand to brush at the tears in his eyes. “We can…we can talk about the baby later, I just…I just want to be home.” He lifted his head to look over at his boyfriend, and the expression in his eyes nearly tore the guitarist’s heart in two. It was too obvious that he felt lost, and the fact that he might end up being mad later was something that wouldn’t have surprised Aoi. Mood swings, at least, could be placated with a good cup of tea or a surprise supply of pocky.
“Hai, okay, we can go home. Are you going to want time alone?”
Kai shook his head at him, tugging his shirt back down and sliding from the examination table, slipping his shoes back on his feet. “No, of course not,” he said, and he wiped at his eyes again, retreating to the Kai that could solve anything in order to shut the Kai that was scared senseless safely in his corner. “Let’s just set this appointment, then go home. I’ll need to explain to manager-san why I won’t be able to play for much longer, and I’ll have to figure out how to keep him from telling the band.”
“Koga-san wouldn’t tell them without our permission,” Aoi said gently, and he relinquished his hold on Kai’s hand so that the drummer could adjust his shirt in a way that didn’t make him feel so very suddenly aware of the stomach he was acquiring. “Unless you wanted to-“
“Hai,” the drummer said, and he could sense the guitarist flinching beside him at the harshness in his voice. “I wanted the two of us to be able to tell them.” For a second, Kai worried over the way that Uruha would react, being the one to make childish jokes at inopportune times, but Aoi’s hand slipping into his and Aoi’s warm body right at his side made him push away the things that he didn’t have to worry about yet. He bit his lip, and he tilted his head back slightly to look up at his boyfriend. “One more little thing?” Aoi nodded. “I still love you.”
Aoi smiled widely, and his heart melted. “And I love you too,” he said, and Kai let him touch their lips together before they walked out of the tiny room and toward the receptionist’s desk. Aoi let Kai do most of the talking- his drummer-chan was an expert at talking people through things, even when he was under complete distress- and then he led him back out to the car, driving them in virtual silence back to the house.
Kai spent the drive attempting to acquaint himself with what would soon be an impressive swell of his stomach, and Aoi spent the time either watching Kai in his peripheral vision or humming quietly to himself. For the moment, they were fine, and Kai wasn’t excited but he was fine, and Aoi was lost in the future, thinking about the baby that he and Kai had always talked about adopting post-GazettE that was now the baby they were going to have together during the height of GazettE, and he was fine, too. Kai wasn’t mad, though he knew he would be, and Aoi wasn’t worried, though he knew that was in his near future, too.
Kai was still quiet, though, and that was the one unsettling thing for Aoi. Sometimes it worried him that he couldn’t get inside the drummer’s head, and seeing him with a blank expression and his hand running over his stomach that still looked the same made him wonder how long it would actually be until Kai was okay with it. It made him wonder when he would be able to be okay with it, too; picturing an exact genetic copy of him and his kareshi-chan was not unpleasant, but the fact that not only had Aoi been the one to get the drummer pregnant but he’d also managed rather terrible timing made him wonder if Kai would hate him for it later on.
He shuddered a little at the thought; if Kai hated him, then he knew he’d be alone.
The doctor seemed almost unwilling to reveal whatever discovery he’d made from the tests he’d run on the drummer, and that in itself made Aoi anxious; he’d promised Kai that he was positive it was nothing big, and he would be in the doghouse for sure if it were something that would keep the drummer from performing.
“Well?” he asked, trying not to sound harsh for Kai’s sake, but watching the doctor expectantly as he fidgeted with his glasses, looked down for a second, and then met the guitarist’s gaze. “What’s going on with him?”
The doctor cleared his throat nervously, and he seated himself on the rolling chair in front of the pair. “Your symptoms, Yutaka-san, were quite common, and, though not usual for a man, still lead to something quite possible, as I’ve seen from your results.” Kai let his gaze flicker upward to meet the doctor’s, and he felt his stomach turn over as he realized that he was not going to like what he was about to hear. “It would seem that you have the ability to bear children, Yutaka-san. I would guess that you are nine weeks into pregnancy.”
Kai blinked, opened his mouth, and promptly shut it again. Pregnant. He tried the word a couple of times in his mind, trying to wrap his head around it. Vomiting, the beginnings of ridiculous cravings, feeling much too tired much too often…it was all there. His gender, though, he’d thought would safeguard him from a solution like this one. Being completely honest with himself, he realized that he would have been perfectly happy with a month-long illness that could be cured with some medicine and a good night’s rest. But a pregnancy was something he hadn’t been prepared for. It had never been evident to him that it would be possible.
The doctor watched him process his words warily, and he adjusted his glasses once again before he continued. “You’ll need to make regular appointments to check on the status of both the baby and the pregnancy.” He seemed almost afraid of the blank expression on the drummer’s face, and he waited a few seconds before glancing over at the guitarist beside Kai, whose hand was being squeezed tightly, and he felt a little less leery as he realized that the ebony-haired man seemed to be more stunned than anything. “And…unless there is anything else you would like to discuss, I have no other information to give you.”
Kai’s mouth opened as he finally found words, and he shut it with a huff before momentarily closing his eyes and taking a breath. His hand tightly squeezed Aoi’s, relenting moments later, and then he allowed himself to open his eyes to peer at the doctor that now stood at the door. “About my drumming, isha-san,” he said, and his voice sounded surprisingly even. “My band…” he felt Aoi flinch beside him, “our band has yet to finish recording, and there are still songs that do not have my drum tracks on them.” He drew in another breath, and he released it as he finished, “I need to know if I can still play.”
The doctor sighed. “I would express caution, Yutaka-san,” he said. “But I also trust that you know your body’s limits. No drumming after the third month, and I should say none at all. Any undue stress on your body can be very damaging, Yutaka-san.” His voice seemed chiding, and Kai considered glaring at him and reminding him that he wasn’t a child, despite the fact that he was apparently soon to have one. “Absolutely no live performances, and see what you can do to convince your band to finish the drums alternatively…I strongly suggest that you relax until your first appointment, when we can be sure of the baby’s status.”
Kai nodded, absorbing the information, feeling his heart break a little at the thought of the fans, who had been waiting a year for new material from the band. “No lives, limited recording…of course.” His voice sounded strained, and to Aoi, the man that knew his smiles best, the smile on the drummer’s face was the most forced smile he’d managed in a while. It didn’t last long, and it was back to his tense expression within a matter of seconds. “So I’m to have the baby, then,” he said, and he couldn’t allow himself to make it sound like a question. It was a statement, a realization that no matter what, his life would never be the same.
“It seems that is your option, hai. Your body wouldn’t be able to handle the alternative.” Kai nodded again; he understood that term well enough. “I would advise that you make an appointment for your first checkup when you leave.” Another nod. Kai could feel his heart sinking. “Good luck until then, Yutaka-san.”
The doctor left, and Kai bowed his head to stare down at his torso. He lifted the material of his shirt a little, and he frowned as he noticed that the skin of his abdomen was taut; it hadn’t looked like that the last time he’d truly looked at himself. “A baby,” he murmured, and he touched his hand to the surprisingly warm skin of his abdomen. He frowned. He’d been counting on being told that he was ill and that he would have to sleep it off and take medicine. He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that his body was genetically programmed for something like carrying a child. “Oh, Aoi-chan, how did we ever get into this...” He hung his head, and he felt the first of the tears sting at his eyes.
“Kai-chan?”
“I want to go home, Aoi-chan,” the drummer said quietly, and he sniffled, lifting his hand to brush at the tears in his eyes. “We can…we can talk about the baby later, I just…I just want to be home.” He lifted his head to look over at his boyfriend, and the expression in his eyes nearly tore the guitarist’s heart in two. It was too obvious that he felt lost, and the fact that he might end up being mad later was something that wouldn’t have surprised Aoi. Mood swings, at least, could be placated with a good cup of tea or a surprise supply of pocky.
“Hai, okay, we can go home. Are you going to want time alone?”
Kai shook his head at him, tugging his shirt back down and sliding from the examination table, slipping his shoes back on his feet. “No, of course not,” he said, and he wiped at his eyes again, retreating to the Kai that could solve anything in order to shut the Kai that was scared senseless safely in his corner. “Let’s just set this appointment, then go home. I’ll need to explain to manager-san why I won’t be able to play for much longer, and I’ll have to figure out how to keep him from telling the band.”
“Koga-san wouldn’t tell them without our permission,” Aoi said gently, and he relinquished his hold on Kai’s hand so that the drummer could adjust his shirt in a way that didn’t make him feel so very suddenly aware of the stomach he was acquiring. “Unless you wanted to-“
“Hai,” the drummer said, and he could sense the guitarist flinching beside him at the harshness in his voice. “I wanted the two of us to be able to tell them.” For a second, Kai worried over the way that Uruha would react, being the one to make childish jokes at inopportune times, but Aoi’s hand slipping into his and Aoi’s warm body right at his side made him push away the things that he didn’t have to worry about yet. He bit his lip, and he tilted his head back slightly to look up at his boyfriend. “One more little thing?” Aoi nodded. “I still love you.”
Aoi smiled widely, and his heart melted. “And I love you too,” he said, and Kai let him touch their lips together before they walked out of the tiny room and toward the receptionist’s desk. Aoi let Kai do most of the talking- his drummer-chan was an expert at talking people through things, even when he was under complete distress- and then he led him back out to the car, driving them in virtual silence back to the house.
Kai spent the drive attempting to acquaint himself with what would soon be an impressive swell of his stomach, and Aoi spent the time either watching Kai in his peripheral vision or humming quietly to himself. For the moment, they were fine, and Kai wasn’t excited but he was fine, and Aoi was lost in the future, thinking about the baby that he and Kai had always talked about adopting post-GazettE that was now the baby they were going to have together during the height of GazettE, and he was fine, too. Kai wasn’t mad, though he knew he would be, and Aoi wasn’t worried, though he knew that was in his near future, too.
Kai was still quiet, though, and that was the one unsettling thing for Aoi. Sometimes it worried him that he couldn’t get inside the drummer’s head, and seeing him with a blank expression and his hand running over his stomach that still looked the same made him wonder how long it would actually be until Kai was okay with it. It made him wonder when he would be able to be okay with it, too; picturing an exact genetic copy of him and his kareshi-chan was not unpleasant, but the fact that not only had Aoi been the one to get the drummer pregnant but he’d also managed rather terrible timing made him wonder if Kai would hate him for it later on.
He shuddered a little at the thought; if Kai hated him, then he knew he’d be alone.