Alien in Me
The beginning
I walked the streets of Berlin. I walked to and from my job, it was a pretty big Town, and everything was close by. I was just by passing a park just across from where I worked. It was a little music store many CD's and LP's. I only worked there to watch the children in the park it was enjoyable. It made my heart sad that I could never have a kid, I do love kids and I have always wanted one.
Do to years of abuse from my last relationship. I can not have kids now. The man had taken from me the one thing I wanted most in life a Child. I Looked out the store window watching all the little kids play in the sun shine. Their mother's and fathers chasing after them. I giggled at a little girl that was playing by herself, she was just a little one just on the swings singing some random song she had made up.
After a few hours. I left work however, I did not go home. I went back to the park to watch the rest of the kids that stuck around. Most where older kids, but still it was nice. I looked around at all the kids just filling a little bit envious of all the other woman that got to have kids and yet they did not really even love their own children, if I could have a child I would be the best mother in the world to that child.
I wanted to adopt and when I went to the adoption center. They sent me right back out the door I came in from. That night I cried. They told me I was to unfit to raise a child. I closed my eyes just listening to the children in the park, there laughing, their smile's and trying to see it in my mind my own child's laughter and their happy faces.
I re-opened my eyes to find myself back in the park. My smile faded when reality set in. I would never be able to have a child of my own.
I stood up from the bench I was sitting on and walked home. Every step I took the children laughter faded. A few tears slipped from my eyes as I thought about what had happened to my past always sneaking up on me and flash backs that were never ending. It was to price to pay to still have my own life back. I lived alone, in a Two-Story Apartment in Germany. It was a perfect place to live.
After a few hours of just hanging around the house. The sun had set and midnight had already reached are little town. The moon was full when I looked out my bedroom window.
After a minute or two I had gone to bed. I was tired and I had to get up the next day just to do it all over again. I pulled the covers over my tiny frame and closed my eyes as my head hit the pillow. I was out a secant latter.
Do to years of abuse from my last relationship. I can not have kids now. The man had taken from me the one thing I wanted most in life a Child. I Looked out the store window watching all the little kids play in the sun shine. Their mother's and fathers chasing after them. I giggled at a little girl that was playing by herself, she was just a little one just on the swings singing some random song she had made up.
After a few hours. I left work however, I did not go home. I went back to the park to watch the rest of the kids that stuck around. Most where older kids, but still it was nice. I looked around at all the kids just filling a little bit envious of all the other woman that got to have kids and yet they did not really even love their own children, if I could have a child I would be the best mother in the world to that child.
I wanted to adopt and when I went to the adoption center. They sent me right back out the door I came in from. That night I cried. They told me I was to unfit to raise a child. I closed my eyes just listening to the children in the park, there laughing, their smile's and trying to see it in my mind my own child's laughter and their happy faces.
I re-opened my eyes to find myself back in the park. My smile faded when reality set in. I would never be able to have a child of my own.
I stood up from the bench I was sitting on and walked home. Every step I took the children laughter faded. A few tears slipped from my eyes as I thought about what had happened to my past always sneaking up on me and flash backs that were never ending. It was to price to pay to still have my own life back. I lived alone, in a Two-Story Apartment in Germany. It was a perfect place to live.
After a few hours of just hanging around the house. The sun had set and midnight had already reached are little town. The moon was full when I looked out my bedroom window.
After a minute or two I had gone to bed. I was tired and I had to get up the next day just to do it all over again. I pulled the covers over my tiny frame and closed my eyes as my head hit the pillow. I was out a secant latter.
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