Girl I Know

Today was a travel day and there would be no show tonight so there was no rush to wake up. It was nice to actually be able to sleep a full night and not wake up stressed at 2am. There was also no better feeling than waking up with two big strong arms around me.
When I finally opened my eyes, I moved my hand up over his chest and let out a brief sigh.

“You’re awake”

I looked up into green eyes that appeared to be wide-awake and a smile that gave me goose bumps all over. “Have you been up long?”

“About an hour”

“Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“I didn’t want to, I figured you could use the sleep”

He folded his arms behind his head and I couldn’t help but move up and kiss him. Thankfully, I got a kiss back in return. “I want to show you something”

He raised his eyebrow out of curiosity. “Really now?”

I laughed and sat up “wait here.” I climbed out of the bunk and reached underneath for my suitcase. After getting what I needed I went back into the bunk and turned on the tiny night light so there was some sort of light in there.

“Don’t laugh, ok?”

“Ok” he smiled and I took out the very first t-shirt from my collection and handed it to him so he could look at it.

“It’s ok if you don’t like it, but be honest and tell my what I should change if you don’t” I waited patiently as he opened it up and looked at it.

The t-shirt itself was black with a violet and dark gray dragonfly in the center. The word Fiction was written across the wings of the dragonfly. After looking at it for a minute he laid the shirt down on his lap. “Do I get to keep this?”

“If you want it”

“I am going to wear this during tomorrow’s set” he smiled. “I think it’s great”

“Really?” I think I was just as excited now as I was last night when he first kissed me.

“Really” he nodded and laughed a little bit. I was so excited I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him, but broke the kiss when I heard his stomach growl.

“I guess that means you are hungry?”

“Starving. Besides, I think we need to get up and go let everyone else know we are still alive” he teased.

“What time is it?”

“Oh it’s only 3pm”

“You let me sleep all day!”

“I couldn’t wake you. I know the last few days have been a nightmare for you”

Did I mention that I love him? When he got up and swung his legs over the side of the bunk I wrapped my arms around his neck from behind and kissed his cheek.

“You want a piggy back ride?” he asked turning his face to the side so I could see him.

“Yes” I laughed and no sooner did I say yes was I being lifted out of the bunk and carried out to the lounge on his back. When we got to the lounge he dropped me down on one of the benches and went to go get coffee.

“Well, look who decided to join the land of the living” Legend was seated in the chair by the television.

“I can leave if you like” I teased.

“Hey, if you do and I will hunt you down and tickle you until you throw up skittles and taste the effin rainbow.” I couldn’t help but laugh, sometimes talking to him was like talking to Uncle Jimmy. It was uncanny at times how much alike they were.

Blade returned to me with two cups off coffee in his hand. He sat down after handing me one. “That should help with your headache.”

“Thank you” I smiled.

“What did I miss?” Lyric asked confused.

“Huh?” Blade and I looked at each other and had no idea what he was referring too.

Lyric motioned with his finger back and forth between Blade and me. “This. When did this happen? You aren’t at each other’s throats anymore”

“Don’t question a good thing” Blade said and winked at Lyric

Just a few hours later we arrived at the hotel. My father had put my mother in a car for the airport as soon as their bus got there. I never even got the chance to say goodbye to her and I guess that was his doing.

We waited for a luggage cart so we could take all our stuff up to our rooms. It made no sense to leave everything on the bus since we would be here for a few days. The tour manager gave Legend the room assignments. Blade and Dante were to share a room while Lyric and Legend would share another. I had my own room, which was per my father’s request because he didn’t want me staying with the boys. Big mistake Dad, HUGE mistake. A room to myself only meant there was more room for company.

Unfortunately my room was located on the opposite end of the hall on the same side as Avenged and right between my father and Matt. The boys from Fiction were all the way down at the other end of the hallway. They may as well have left me on the damn bus.

I was unpacking my suitcase when there was a knock on my door. I really don’t think Blade would be brazen enough to knock on my door in broad daylight. When I opened the door my father walked right in.

“You can’t just walk right in” I stood there with my hands on my hips.

“Oh yes I can, I am paying for this room, not you.”

“And I am the reason you are still happily married remember?”

“Yeah, about that” he walked right over to me and I could tell he was drinking. “I told your mother everything last night when we were alone. So, you are not holding the cards any longer. The only reason why I didn’t send you home with her this morning is because she wants time alone. So while you are here you will listen to me. You may be 18, but I am still your damn father.”

Motherfucker just knocked the wind right out of my sails. Now, I was fucked.

“Put your shoes on, we’re all going downstairs to the hotel restaurant to eat.” I had no other option other than to do what he said. So, I slipped on my flip-flops and followed him out the door.

When we got to the restaurant I, of course was stuck at the same table with him and the rest of the band, which wasn’t so bad except for the him part. It was clear to everyone that Brian was in a bad mood and only I knew the reason why. I looked over at Blade who was looking at me sympathetically. He took out his phone and sent me a text.

“What happened?”

“2 hard 2 explain in text. Tell u later”

“K” he sent back and closed his phone. When the waitress came and took our order my father opted for a liquid dinner of hard-core alcohol. The only diabetic friendly option on the menu was a fresh fruit plate with sugar free jello. While we ate I noticed my father was zoned out staring at the glass in front of him as if he were thinking about something.

Brian’s replaying his conversation with Stormy the night before in his head….
They were laying alone in the bed in the back room. Brian couldn’t stand the thought of what he had done to Stormy, nor could he handle the fact that anyone else knew about it and if she was going to hear about it from anyone it would have to be him.

“I love you” he said to her as he held her in his arms. It was blatantly obvious by the way he said it that something wasn’t right.

“I love you too” she smiled warmly and kissed his cheek. When he lowered his eyes she sat up and grabbed his hand lacing her fingers with his.

“Something’s not right with you. What is it?”

“Stormy, I have something to tell you”

“Ok”

“I just don’t know how to say it.” That statement alone said it all. She knew he had done something that was going to cause both of them pain and had a sneaking suspicion that it was another woman.

Stormy huffed and crossed her arms. “Just say it, Brian.” She was already annoyed and expecting the worst.

“When I slapped Melody I knew I shouldn’t have done it. I felt so bad afterwards, but she was so mad at me she couldn’t even look at me.”

“So are you telling me she lied and you never apologized to her?”

“Yes” he nodded “but it’s more than that”

“Ok, go on then”

“Well, the next day Matt went to talk to Melody and he asked her why she was so defiant. She didn’t know that I was standing right behind her listening to every word. She said it was because I was never there when she was growing up and the band came before she did. She went on to say that when I wasn’t doing something band related I was spending all my free time with you and treating her like she didn’t exist. She thinks I didn’t want her”

Stormy covered her mouth with her hand “Oh Brian, what a terrible thing to say. You have to talk to her about that. You love Melody, I know you do and she knows you do too.”

He sat up and leaned back against the headboard. “There’s more, Stormy” he lit a cigarette and took a long drag before continuing. “When she realized I was behind her she got up and ran out in tears. It bothered me that I made her feel like that and the fact that I hit her the night before only added to how bad I felt. So, I got drunk. I got really really drunk”

“Brian what did you do?” she asked nervously knowing that the worst was yet to come. He looked at her as if to say that she should already know. “Tell me you didn’t” she whispered with water starting to flood her eyes.

He simply nodded in response. “When I walked off the stage I went straight to the bus to continue with my alcohol induced pity party and when I got to the bus there was a girl standing there.”

Stormy shook her head not wanting to hear anymore, but he continued anyway. “I was so drunk I could have given away my life savings at that point. So, when she asked if she could join me on the bus, I said yes. I don’t know what came over me, but I slept with her Stormy. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Melody came on to the bus to talk to me and she saw the girl just as she was leaving.”

“So that is why you decided to let her stay? So she would keep her mouth shut?”

“Stormy, please calm down”

“Calm down? You dirt bag. How could you cheat on me AGAIN! And don’t say it was because you were drunk and upset because that is no excuse. How would you like it if I cheated on you? You know what? Maybe I should!” she was shouting now.

“Stormy” he grabbed her wrists to calm her down. “I didn’t do it to hurt you. I’m sorry”

She pulled her wrists out of his grip and slapped him across the face. He didn’t try and stop her when she slapped him again. “I love you, Stormy” he said with tears falling from his eyes. He pulled her close to his chest and held her there while she cried. “I love you” he kept saying over and over again.

“Why am I not enough for you?” she cried on his shoulder.

“It had nothing to do with you. It was my fault for letting alcohol get the better of me. I’m sorry”

She sat there while he held her close to him for another hour without saying a single word. After about half hour, he finally broke the silence. “Are you ok?”

“I don’t know” she said.

“Stormy, can you forgive me?”

“I need to think about this for a while. I need some time to myself” she looked him in the eyes as she spoke. It was clear that her heart was on the surface. “It’s not the first time, Brian.”

“I know” he nodded. “But I can honestly tell you, it was the last. Stormy, I leave the tour with you tomorrow. I’ll walk away from the band right now for you.”

“No. I don’t want you to do that. I just want to be alone for a while when I get home.”

“Ok” he nodded and leaned forward to gently kiss her lips. She didn’t pull away either, she even kissed him back. It was clear that the passion was still there as was the love, but the question was could it be saved?

He pulled her back down with him and kept her close to him while they slept. When the morning came he called for a car to meet the bus at the hotel to take Stormy to the airport. For the time that it took for the bus to get to the hotel, they stayed in the back room together holding hands while she rested her head on his shoulder. Not a word was spoken between them the whole way to the hotel. So, when the bus did pull up to the hotel and it was time for them to say goodbye, it was hard for both of them. He begged her to stay, but she wanted to go home. There were tears in his eyes when he kissed her goodbye and had to watch her walk away from him.

Back to the restaurant…

I looked over at my father just as he downed the brown liquid that filled his glass and slammed it down on the table. When everyone stopped eating and looked at him, he got up and walked away. I just rolled my eyes and figured I was probably going to regret what I was about to do.

“Uncle Jimmy could I speak to you outside for a minute?”

“Sure munchkin” he smiled and followed me outside the restaurant. When I got outside the restaurant I waited for him over by the bar.

“What’s up?” he asked

“I need a favor and you’re the only one that I think may do it for me”

“uh ok, I’m guessing it’s illegal”

“Yeah, kind of. Could you get me a bottle of Jack Daniels from the bar?”

He looked at me like I was nuts. “Whoa, sweet thing I’m all for corrupting today’s youth, but not when that youth is the spawn of Synyster Gates.”

“It’s not for me. I swear I am not lying to you and I’ll even take a Breathalyzer test for you before bed. Please” I was practically on my knees begging.

“ok, but if you tell your father I did this for you, you’ll never get another favor from me again.”

“I promise I won’t say a word” I crossed my fingers across my heart. He walked up to the bar tender and asked for the bottle and when he came back he handed it to me.

“Thank you” I hugged him tightly and promised him he wouldn’t regret it. Now, I only needed glasses. After stopping by the restaurant again and bribing one of the waitresses, I headed out in search of my father. It didn’t take very long to find him. He was sitting right there in the hallway on the floor between his room and the elevator. So, I walked over to him and sat down beside him. I stretched my legs out in front of me and crossed them and opened the bottle of Jack. He never even looked at me and when I finished pouring him a glass, I held it out in front of him for him to take.

Now that I had his attention, he looked at the glass and then turned his head to look at me. When he saw the bottle of Jack sitting next to me he shook his head and took the glass from me. I poured one for myself regardless of the warning look he gave me for doing it.

“How did you get that?” he asked.

“I have a fake ID” I lied and probably got myself in a heap of trouble.

“Jimmy” he nodded and I have no idea how the hell he knew that.

“Yeah” I nodded.

“You’re only having one glass” he said looking forward at the wall as he spoke. I wasn’t going to sit there and argue.

“Ok” I nodded.

We sat there for a while not saying anything to each other. I nursed the one drink I was allowed to have while he knocked them back one after the other. I hated the silence, but if he was going to drink, I would rather he not be alone while he did it. I finished my drink and rested my head on his shoulder.

His head rested on mine and he brought his hand up to touch my face. “I know you hate me right now, but I still love you, dad”

It was as if I stabbed him right in the heart. He lifted his head and grabbed both my arms to make me turn and look at him. “Don’t ever say that again. No matter how mad I get at you Melody, I will never hate you.”

“ok” I nodded.

“I know what a bastard I am and I know how badly I fucked up the last few days, but you and your mother are the most important part of my life no matter what you think. Yeah, I’m sure it doesn’t seem that way to you right now, but it’s the truth.”

Way to make me feel guilty or maybe it was just the alcohol. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you and snuck on the bus”

He leaned back against the wall and nodded. “You drive me nuts sometimes, but I still love you.”

“I hate to break the news to you dad, but I’m not perfect and I’m sure there will be plenty more times to come where I let you down”

“Yeah, well I hate to break it to you Mel, but I’m not perfect either and I’m sure there will be plenty more times to come where I let you down too.”

“Is mom going to leave?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t want her to, but she said she needed time alone. If she left me, I would deserve that”

“Dad, what’s happening to our family?” I felt like I wanted to throw up all of a sudden at the thought of my parents separating.

“I don’t know Mel. Only time will tell, honestly I wish we could go back to the days when you were so small you used to stand on my shoes and make me dance with you”

“Me too, but right now, I think you need to go sleep it off for a while.”

“are you calling me a drunk?”

“Yup” I nodded and took the glass out of his hand. When I stood up I reached for his hand to help him up. “Give me your room key” I held out my hand as he fumbled through his pockets for the plastic card that would open the door to his room. When he found it he put it in my hand and I slid it into the slot on his door and waited for the light to go from red to green and opened the door.

I took his jacket and hung it up while he sat down on the bed and took off his shoes. When he was finished I told him to get under the covers. Now that he was finally settled in bed, I turned out the light and walked out of his room. I picked up the bottle of Jack from the floor of the hall we were just sitting in and went into my own room. I sat there for the longest time contemplating calling my mother.