Status: Finished!
On a Lonely Night
Chapter 13.
I sat there with John O’Callaghan in the back of Andrew’s big white van. We were kissing and I didn’t mind it. This time, it wasn’t only Nick I saw. I saw John, Nick and Alan like a slideshow through my mind, flashing up and then disappearing again.
Finally, we pulled apart. The rest of the bands were nowhere to be seen as we both awkwardly and silently peered out the windows of the van.
“Uhh…where did everyone go?” John asked hesitantly.
It wasn’t an awful kiss. I mean, it was John O. He is a spectacular kisser. However, the fact that we both knew this shouldn’t have happened made it awkward.
“I’m sorry, John, “ I sighed, leaning forward and putting my face in my hands.
“Hey now,” His voice was soft, “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”
I looked up at him like he was dumb, “That shouldn’t have happened.”
He shrugged, “Think of it as a goodbye kiss.”
I nodded, sighing once more and slumping back into the seat.
He copied me and we sat there for a while before we heard a knock on the window.
I jolted out of the seat and turned to look at the window. Nick was standing there, trying to see inside. Seeing him, I felt my face burning and my eyes becoming red.
I shook my head and hopped over John, opening the opposite door from Nick. Once outside, I huffed, crossing my arms. I looked to my left and saw some of the guys across the street – away from Nick and John.
“Miri, wait.”
The words he said that day, when I actually wanted to wait. Now, I wanted to be nowhere near the d-o-u-c-h-e.
“Miri,” He was right behind me now, his hand touched my arm, trying to pull me back.
“What?” I spat, but I kept going.
I heard the van door open from John’s side. I didn’t even want to turn around to look. This meant Nick seeing my face right now, and I didn’t want ANYONE to do that.
“I want to talk,” He said it like it was nothing.
I stopped in my tracks, in turn making Nick almost crash into me.
I stayed with my back to him, “About what?”
I heard a sigh escape his lips. I could imagine him running a hand through his reddish hair, his eyes focused on my back.
“About what happened.”
I scoffed, wishing I didn’t look like a wreck so I could face him, “What happened.” I repeated.
“Yeah, I need answers. Obviously we’re both confused,” He pointed out.
I wheeled around to face him. The first thing I noticed was that John O was watching cautiously from the van, not knowing what to do.
Next, I noticed Nick studying my face. This was when I remembered how awful I probably looked.
“Miri,” Nick’s gentle voice filled my ears. So now he was feeling sympathetic.
My eyes flickered to his and I saw the sincerity. He was sorry. He didn’t want to see me messed up, especially not over him.
I sighed again, “Fine.”
→
Twenty minutes later we were seated in a Starbucks by the fire. What was with us and Starbucks? I refused to get anything. After ten minutes of arguing, he let me be and got himself a Venti coffee.
“So…” He began.
My eyes met his momentarily, “What were you thinking? Why?”
He raised his eyebrow, “And you are referring to…?”
My jaw nearly dropped off of its socket, “What do you think?
He nodded, not needing to answer, “Gracie told me that you had a new boyfriend now and that you said you didn’t like me anymore.”
My fists clenched, “That bitch.”
He chuckled, “So she lied, then?”
Was he retarded, then?
I ignored his question, “I can’t believe you believed her, Nick.”
He shrugged, “I didn’t know what to expect when you came here.”
I kept my face as blank as possible, “Things like this really make me wonder about you. If you like me so damn much, then you think you would know what to expect from me by now.”
He shook his head, “Miri, I’ve liked you for over four years now. I knew you inside and out back then. Now, you’re a totally different, more mature person and I’m not quite sure what’s running through your head.”
That was it. That’s what I was looking for. Over four years, I knew there was a reason I was choosing him.
I blushed at the thought of that night in his car one more time.
“I love you, never Gracie. I want you to understand that 100 percent, alright?” He said, placing a hand on mine, using the other to bring the coffee cup to his lips.
I nodded slowly.
→
We stood outside the San Francisco venue, waiting for The Maine to finish playing. Nick suddenly dipped into his pocket and pulled out a box of Camels.
“Since when do you smoke?” I asked, eyeing the cigarettes curiously.
He shrugged, “Want one?”
I nodded, a little over excitedly. I had only smoked a cigarette once with John Gomez in the 12th grade.
I remember he finally got me out to his friend’s parties. Everyone was there and he took me to the bathroom where we hot-boxed his friend’s shower. After we were blazed out of our minds, we headed outside and he bummed me a cigarette. I barely remember the cigarette itself, but I know I had so much fun. I smiled at the memory, taking a long drag of the cancer stick.
“What’s got you so smiley?” Nick asked cooly.
I shook my head; “I think I want to finish the tour with all you guys.”
He nodded, “Understandable. I don’t want you to be cooped up in a room with or without Gracie all summer.”
I agreed silently, taking another drag of the cigarette.
“Hey guys,” My cousin opened the door, “Whoa, Miri. Smoking a cig!”
I chuckled at his astonishment and then turned to Nick, “Can I talk to my cousin alone for a minute?”
He nodded solemnly, heading down to the corner of the street to smoke in peace.
“What’s up, cuz?” Josh smiled, snatching the cig out of my hand and taking a long drag as well.
“I want to finish the tour with you guys. There is no way I can stay in San Fran with that lying bitch.” I growled towards the end. Just thinking about the bitch made me want to punch koalas.
Josh’s face lit up and he handed me the cigarette before squeezing me tightly in an embrace, “I would love that so much, Miri!”
I beamed, “Hell yes! I am stoked. Will you and everyone come back to my dad’s later on and help me get my stuff?”
He nodded excitedly, “Of course!”
He wrapped a pale, slender arm around my narrow waist, “It means a lot to me, Miri. I sure hope you know that.”
I nodded, resting my head on my cousins shoulder, killing the cigarette and flicking it onto the road, “It means a lot to me too, Josh, me too.”
→
A few hours later, we were back in the van. All of my stuff was there and I was ready to go, but my dad couldn’t seem to say goodbye.
“I promise I’ll call you, daddy,” I assured him.
It wasn’t enough, “Darling, are you sure you want to leave? No one is making you, you can stay as long as you like.”
I chuckled, “I don’t think Gracie agrees with you on that one.”
My dad frowned, finally getting the hint, “Alright. I’ll miss you, baby doll.”
I smiled, “I’ll miss you too, daddy.”
I slipped out of the van to give him one last hug; “I hope to see you again soon.”
I nodded, “You will.”
He stood back, away from the van and waved as I got back in, joining The Summer Set and Dylan.
I waved back as we pulled away, not that he could see or anything.
Now we were off to god knows where and all I could think about was how I never said goodbye to Alan. I pulled my phone out of my pocket. The clock read 3:05 AM. I opened a new text message:
“I really like you a lot, but I have to leave with my cousin today. I’m sorry.”
I selected his name for the message and read it over at least a hundred times. I never sent the message.
Finally, we pulled apart. The rest of the bands were nowhere to be seen as we both awkwardly and silently peered out the windows of the van.
“Uhh…where did everyone go?” John asked hesitantly.
It wasn’t an awful kiss. I mean, it was John O. He is a spectacular kisser. However, the fact that we both knew this shouldn’t have happened made it awkward.
“I’m sorry, John, “ I sighed, leaning forward and putting my face in my hands.
“Hey now,” His voice was soft, “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”
I looked up at him like he was dumb, “That shouldn’t have happened.”
He shrugged, “Think of it as a goodbye kiss.”
I nodded, sighing once more and slumping back into the seat.
He copied me and we sat there for a while before we heard a knock on the window.
I jolted out of the seat and turned to look at the window. Nick was standing there, trying to see inside. Seeing him, I felt my face burning and my eyes becoming red.
I shook my head and hopped over John, opening the opposite door from Nick. Once outside, I huffed, crossing my arms. I looked to my left and saw some of the guys across the street – away from Nick and John.
“Miri, wait.”
The words he said that day, when I actually wanted to wait. Now, I wanted to be nowhere near the d-o-u-c-h-e.
“Miri,” He was right behind me now, his hand touched my arm, trying to pull me back.
“What?” I spat, but I kept going.
I heard the van door open from John’s side. I didn’t even want to turn around to look. This meant Nick seeing my face right now, and I didn’t want ANYONE to do that.
“I want to talk,” He said it like it was nothing.
I stopped in my tracks, in turn making Nick almost crash into me.
I stayed with my back to him, “About what?”
I heard a sigh escape his lips. I could imagine him running a hand through his reddish hair, his eyes focused on my back.
“About what happened.”
I scoffed, wishing I didn’t look like a wreck so I could face him, “What happened.” I repeated.
“Yeah, I need answers. Obviously we’re both confused,” He pointed out.
I wheeled around to face him. The first thing I noticed was that John O was watching cautiously from the van, not knowing what to do.
Next, I noticed Nick studying my face. This was when I remembered how awful I probably looked.
“Miri,” Nick’s gentle voice filled my ears. So now he was feeling sympathetic.
My eyes flickered to his and I saw the sincerity. He was sorry. He didn’t want to see me messed up, especially not over him.
I sighed again, “Fine.”
→
Twenty minutes later we were seated in a Starbucks by the fire. What was with us and Starbucks? I refused to get anything. After ten minutes of arguing, he let me be and got himself a Venti coffee.
“So…” He began.
My eyes met his momentarily, “What were you thinking? Why?”
He raised his eyebrow, “And you are referring to…?”
My jaw nearly dropped off of its socket, “What do you think?
He nodded, not needing to answer, “Gracie told me that you had a new boyfriend now and that you said you didn’t like me anymore.”
My fists clenched, “That bitch.”
He chuckled, “So she lied, then?”
Was he retarded, then?
I ignored his question, “I can’t believe you believed her, Nick.”
He shrugged, “I didn’t know what to expect when you came here.”
I kept my face as blank as possible, “Things like this really make me wonder about you. If you like me so damn much, then you think you would know what to expect from me by now.”
He shook his head, “Miri, I’ve liked you for over four years now. I knew you inside and out back then. Now, you’re a totally different, more mature person and I’m not quite sure what’s running through your head.”
That was it. That’s what I was looking for. Over four years, I knew there was a reason I was choosing him.
I blushed at the thought of that night in his car one more time.
“I love you, never Gracie. I want you to understand that 100 percent, alright?” He said, placing a hand on mine, using the other to bring the coffee cup to his lips.
I nodded slowly.
→
We stood outside the San Francisco venue, waiting for The Maine to finish playing. Nick suddenly dipped into his pocket and pulled out a box of Camels.
“Since when do you smoke?” I asked, eyeing the cigarettes curiously.
He shrugged, “Want one?”
I nodded, a little over excitedly. I had only smoked a cigarette once with John Gomez in the 12th grade.
I remember he finally got me out to his friend’s parties. Everyone was there and he took me to the bathroom where we hot-boxed his friend’s shower. After we were blazed out of our minds, we headed outside and he bummed me a cigarette. I barely remember the cigarette itself, but I know I had so much fun. I smiled at the memory, taking a long drag of the cancer stick.
“What’s got you so smiley?” Nick asked cooly.
I shook my head; “I think I want to finish the tour with all you guys.”
He nodded, “Understandable. I don’t want you to be cooped up in a room with or without Gracie all summer.”
I agreed silently, taking another drag of the cigarette.
“Hey guys,” My cousin opened the door, “Whoa, Miri. Smoking a cig!”
I chuckled at his astonishment and then turned to Nick, “Can I talk to my cousin alone for a minute?”
He nodded solemnly, heading down to the corner of the street to smoke in peace.
“What’s up, cuz?” Josh smiled, snatching the cig out of my hand and taking a long drag as well.
“I want to finish the tour with you guys. There is no way I can stay in San Fran with that lying bitch.” I growled towards the end. Just thinking about the bitch made me want to punch koalas.
Josh’s face lit up and he handed me the cigarette before squeezing me tightly in an embrace, “I would love that so much, Miri!”
I beamed, “Hell yes! I am stoked. Will you and everyone come back to my dad’s later on and help me get my stuff?”
He nodded excitedly, “Of course!”
He wrapped a pale, slender arm around my narrow waist, “It means a lot to me, Miri. I sure hope you know that.”
I nodded, resting my head on my cousins shoulder, killing the cigarette and flicking it onto the road, “It means a lot to me too, Josh, me too.”
→
A few hours later, we were back in the van. All of my stuff was there and I was ready to go, but my dad couldn’t seem to say goodbye.
“I promise I’ll call you, daddy,” I assured him.
It wasn’t enough, “Darling, are you sure you want to leave? No one is making you, you can stay as long as you like.”
I chuckled, “I don’t think Gracie agrees with you on that one.”
My dad frowned, finally getting the hint, “Alright. I’ll miss you, baby doll.”
I smiled, “I’ll miss you too, daddy.”
I slipped out of the van to give him one last hug; “I hope to see you again soon.”
I nodded, “You will.”
He stood back, away from the van and waved as I got back in, joining The Summer Set and Dylan.
I waved back as we pulled away, not that he could see or anything.
Now we were off to god knows where and all I could think about was how I never said goodbye to Alan. I pulled my phone out of my pocket. The clock read 3:05 AM. I opened a new text message:
“I really like you a lot, but I have to leave with my cousin today. I’m sorry.”
I selected his name for the message and read it over at least a hundred times. I never sent the message.
♠ ♠ ♠
Alright. Took a while & I apologize. But was it worth the wait?So if you're slightly confused, her and Nick are sort of a thing now, but they aren't "together". John has accepted it but Alan doesn't know.
comments make me HAPPY!
& Subtitle Credit jawn: "Coffee & Cigarettes" by Never Shout Never