Status: Finished!
On a Lonely Night
Chapter 8.
I woke up the next morning, almost forgetting that John was in the bed next to me. I snuggled into him guiltily, shaking him awake.
“Babe,” He mumbled, resting his head in the crook of my neck.
Then it hit me, and my breath caught. Was Nick still in the closet?
I wrapped an arm around John, “Morning.”
He sighed, “Wanna go get breakfast?”
My gaze shifted towards the closed, “Sure.”
Automatically, John popped up and out of my grasp, sliding away from my bed and stood up, facing me. `
“Let’s go,” He motioned for me to follow his lead.
I stretched out of bed and picked up a t-shirt out of my drawers, along with a pair of denim shorts.
I met John in the kitchen, but not before checking in my closet to find it empty. Nick must have left in the middle of the night.
“Where to?” John asked, greeting me with a smile and holding his hand out for me to take.
I took his hand, and just looked down at our hands for a minute before shaking back to reality, “Uhh,” I looked up at him uncertainly, “5 & Diner?”
He grinned, nodding.
He led me out to his white pick-up and we were off.
I was positive that he could sense the tension I was giving off.
Sure enough, “Are you alright?”
I gulped, nodding quickly, “Just hungry…and tired.”
He chuckled lightly, giving my hand a squeeze.
I felt awful. Poor John.
→
After eating breakfast, I asked John to take me home. I told him I needed a day by myself so I could catch up on sleep and all that.
First thing I did was shower. I sslipped into some pajamas this time, planning on hopping back into bed.
After switching my fan to its highest power and snuggling under my covers, I grew tired. Instantly, my eyes slid shut.
It seemed like only three seconds later I was awaken by a song playing that I hadn’t heard in a long time. I couldn’t quite place a finger on the name or artist, but I had heard it before. I racked my brain for possibilities.
“I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I walk the line”
I knew the song, but could recall no title. Then I thought back to where I heard this song and gasped. This was the song playing on the car radio on that night four years ago with Nick. I sat up abruptly and looked around.
It was now getting dark outside which seemed odd to me, but I brushed off that thought and got out of bed, searching for the source of the song.
I peeked out my window and saw a white BMW parked by the curb with the dashboard lights on.
I crept through the house and out the door, down the sidewalk and right up to the car.
Nick was inside, seemingly asleep with the radio blaring that song.
“You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line”
I knocked on the window lightly.
Nick shook himself awake and looked up at me, waving sheepishly.
I bit down on my lip, nodding subtly at him. He reached over to the passenger door to unlock it and I jogged around to the door and got in.
We sat there for a minute or two, taking in the words to the song. I sensed the tension that Nick was emitting. What was he going to say?
“Miri,” He began, softly and steadily.
I turned to face him, making sure his eyes were in contact with mine.
“About last night.”
I sighed, knowing where this was going.
“I want you to break up with John,” His words. The words that I had longed to say to him before in a different context, but had not possessed the courage to do so.
I felt pressured and hurt. Is this how he would have felt if I said the same to him about Gracie?
I hesitated, “Nick, I,” but he cut me off.
“Miri, I love you. You know I love you. I would not be here right now playing this damned song if I didn’t love you. Do you even know why this song is so special?”
I felt that hurt again, “Of course I do, Nick. This was the song that played that night when we…” I didn’t have to finish.
He nodded, “You wouldn’t have done what you did last night if you didn’t love me back. Or at least want me.”
I knew he was right. I did still want him. However, John had been my safety net, my backbone. He held me in place whether we were in a legitimate relationship or not. I knew that breaking up with John would in turn break him, especially if I left him for Nick.
I thought of what to say. Nothing came to mind.
After minutes of racking my brain, trying to figure out the right thing to say, I decided against it.
Instead, I leaned over and kissed Nick. I knew he couldn’t resist my kiss. He kissed back and soon enough, we were making a repeat of that night four years ago out on the curb of my and my cousin’s house.
→
I came in the next morning. My clothes were unkempt and my hair tousled. The first thing I saw when I walked into the kitchen was Josh, staring at me with his eyes narrowed.
“Can I help you?” I asked, brushing past him towards the cabinet to get a plastic cup.
I heard him turn on his feet, “Hmm…maybe you can explain something to me.”
Nervously, I filled my cup with water before turning back to face him, desperately avoiding his eyes, “Yeah?”
“Maybe you can explain why you spent the night in a certain white BMW that was playing Johnny Cash all night?” Josh raised his eyebrows.
Nervousness got the best of me and my cup fell out my hands, colliding with the ground and tossing water all over our legs and the floor.
“Dammit Miri,” Josh growled, reaching over for the dishtowel.
He wiped his legs off first before throwing the towel over the small puddle.
Josh knew what happened. That, and he was utterly pissed.
I sighed before managing to mumble, “I’m sorry.”
I heard him take a deep breath, “It’s ok.”
Shamefacedly, I managed to meet his gaze.
“Why did you do it?” Josh asked me, his face solemn.
I shrugged, “I’m in a bit of a fix, Josh.”
He nodded, “I’ll say. What’s going on?”
I grabbed his hand and dragged him down the tiny white hallway to the living room and pulled him onto the couch with me.
He sat facing me, giving me his full attention, “What’s bugging you?”
I let another sigh escape my lips, “I love them both, Josh. John has been there for me so much over the years. He helped me get over everything and move on. Then Nick came back into my life like it was fate or something. The minute I saw him standing there with his red hair, Ray Bans and tattoos, I knew that I still had strong feelings for him.”
“I see,” Josh nodded, understanding.
“I just want to please the both of them but I don’t know how without doing what I did last night,” I gulped, “I’m an awful person.”
Josh shook his head, placing a hand on my arm, “You’re not an awful person, Miri. You’re a confused, love-struck girl. You’re only human. You make mistakes.”
I nodded, wiping away any tears that had escaped my eyelids.
“You just need to figure out which one is the mistake,” Josh concluded.
He gave me a tight hug, and a tiny peck on the cheek, “Do you need help figuring it out?”
I thought about it for a second, did I need help?
I contemplated my options before deciding, “No, I want to figure this one out on my own.”
“Babe,” He mumbled, resting his head in the crook of my neck.
Then it hit me, and my breath caught. Was Nick still in the closet?
I wrapped an arm around John, “Morning.”
He sighed, “Wanna go get breakfast?”
My gaze shifted towards the closed, “Sure.”
Automatically, John popped up and out of my grasp, sliding away from my bed and stood up, facing me. `
“Let’s go,” He motioned for me to follow his lead.
I stretched out of bed and picked up a t-shirt out of my drawers, along with a pair of denim shorts.
I met John in the kitchen, but not before checking in my closet to find it empty. Nick must have left in the middle of the night.
“Where to?” John asked, greeting me with a smile and holding his hand out for me to take.
I took his hand, and just looked down at our hands for a minute before shaking back to reality, “Uhh,” I looked up at him uncertainly, “5 & Diner?”
He grinned, nodding.
He led me out to his white pick-up and we were off.
I was positive that he could sense the tension I was giving off.
Sure enough, “Are you alright?”
I gulped, nodding quickly, “Just hungry…and tired.”
He chuckled lightly, giving my hand a squeeze.
I felt awful. Poor John.
→
After eating breakfast, I asked John to take me home. I told him I needed a day by myself so I could catch up on sleep and all that.
First thing I did was shower. I sslipped into some pajamas this time, planning on hopping back into bed.
After switching my fan to its highest power and snuggling under my covers, I grew tired. Instantly, my eyes slid shut.
It seemed like only three seconds later I was awaken by a song playing that I hadn’t heard in a long time. I couldn’t quite place a finger on the name or artist, but I had heard it before. I racked my brain for possibilities.
“I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I walk the line”
I knew the song, but could recall no title. Then I thought back to where I heard this song and gasped. This was the song playing on the car radio on that night four years ago with Nick. I sat up abruptly and looked around.
It was now getting dark outside which seemed odd to me, but I brushed off that thought and got out of bed, searching for the source of the song.
I peeked out my window and saw a white BMW parked by the curb with the dashboard lights on.
I crept through the house and out the door, down the sidewalk and right up to the car.
Nick was inside, seemingly asleep with the radio blaring that song.
“You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line”
I knocked on the window lightly.
Nick shook himself awake and looked up at me, waving sheepishly.
I bit down on my lip, nodding subtly at him. He reached over to the passenger door to unlock it and I jogged around to the door and got in.
We sat there for a minute or two, taking in the words to the song. I sensed the tension that Nick was emitting. What was he going to say?
“Miri,” He began, softly and steadily.
I turned to face him, making sure his eyes were in contact with mine.
“About last night.”
I sighed, knowing where this was going.
“I want you to break up with John,” His words. The words that I had longed to say to him before in a different context, but had not possessed the courage to do so.
I felt pressured and hurt. Is this how he would have felt if I said the same to him about Gracie?
I hesitated, “Nick, I,” but he cut me off.
“Miri, I love you. You know I love you. I would not be here right now playing this damned song if I didn’t love you. Do you even know why this song is so special?”
I felt that hurt again, “Of course I do, Nick. This was the song that played that night when we…” I didn’t have to finish.
He nodded, “You wouldn’t have done what you did last night if you didn’t love me back. Or at least want me.”
I knew he was right. I did still want him. However, John had been my safety net, my backbone. He held me in place whether we were in a legitimate relationship or not. I knew that breaking up with John would in turn break him, especially if I left him for Nick.
I thought of what to say. Nothing came to mind.
After minutes of racking my brain, trying to figure out the right thing to say, I decided against it.
Instead, I leaned over and kissed Nick. I knew he couldn’t resist my kiss. He kissed back and soon enough, we were making a repeat of that night four years ago out on the curb of my and my cousin’s house.
→
I came in the next morning. My clothes were unkempt and my hair tousled. The first thing I saw when I walked into the kitchen was Josh, staring at me with his eyes narrowed.
“Can I help you?” I asked, brushing past him towards the cabinet to get a plastic cup.
I heard him turn on his feet, “Hmm…maybe you can explain something to me.”
Nervously, I filled my cup with water before turning back to face him, desperately avoiding his eyes, “Yeah?”
“Maybe you can explain why you spent the night in a certain white BMW that was playing Johnny Cash all night?” Josh raised his eyebrows.
Nervousness got the best of me and my cup fell out my hands, colliding with the ground and tossing water all over our legs and the floor.
“Dammit Miri,” Josh growled, reaching over for the dishtowel.
He wiped his legs off first before throwing the towel over the small puddle.
Josh knew what happened. That, and he was utterly pissed.
I sighed before managing to mumble, “I’m sorry.”
I heard him take a deep breath, “It’s ok.”
Shamefacedly, I managed to meet his gaze.
“Why did you do it?” Josh asked me, his face solemn.
I shrugged, “I’m in a bit of a fix, Josh.”
He nodded, “I’ll say. What’s going on?”
I grabbed his hand and dragged him down the tiny white hallway to the living room and pulled him onto the couch with me.
He sat facing me, giving me his full attention, “What’s bugging you?”
I let another sigh escape my lips, “I love them both, Josh. John has been there for me so much over the years. He helped me get over everything and move on. Then Nick came back into my life like it was fate or something. The minute I saw him standing there with his red hair, Ray Bans and tattoos, I knew that I still had strong feelings for him.”
“I see,” Josh nodded, understanding.
“I just want to please the both of them but I don’t know how without doing what I did last night,” I gulped, “I’m an awful person.”
Josh shook his head, placing a hand on my arm, “You’re not an awful person, Miri. You’re a confused, love-struck girl. You’re only human. You make mistakes.”
I nodded, wiping away any tears that had escaped my eyelids.
“You just need to figure out which one is the mistake,” Josh concluded.
He gave me a tight hug, and a tiny peck on the cheek, “Do you need help figuring it out?”
I thought about it for a second, did I need help?
I contemplated my options before deciding, “No, I want to figure this one out on my own.”
♠ ♠ ♠
What's she gonna doooo?Incase you didn't know, I love everyone who comments/subscribes. However, I favor my commenters...slightly? Yes. So leave a comment, son!
OH BY THE WAY: Another "lonely" night? The song is I Walk the Line by Johnny Cash ok