One-Shot Collection

"I'm going to end up hurting you; I know it," she said so nonchalantly, like it was a fact so commonly known. It was peculiar, random, so assured, but for some reason, not bothersome in the least. I didn't think it could be possible. It was just talk.

I rubbed her bronze upper arm from where I was laying below her as we both occupied the couch. "Of course you won't, Rae. Why would you say something like that?"

She pulled her knees to her chin and slightly lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "It's just a feeling, I guess. I've hurt everyone else I've ever gotten close to in one way or another...why should you be any different?" Her gaze was distant, remembering the past. For a moment, I pitied her. There was no way this gorgeous creature could have caused so much pain in someones life.

"Rae, look at me," I ordered gently. Her face turned my way; her hazel eyes were still distant and now watering. I sat up and gathered her into my chest. "Rae, you can't think like that. The past is the past and is meant to be left there. You're unlike anyone I've ever met in the greatest of ways and that makes me so full of bliss. Nothing will ever change that."

"You're not like anyone I've ever met, either, Oliver," she mumbled, though her mouth wasn't covered.

"Then why put me in same category as the other guys?" Her words had warmed my heart so much so that I hoped she could feel it through my thin shirt. I hoped she knew how much I loved her; I didn't care if we hadn't known each other for long. "I promise everything will be okay," I whispered softly with my lips close to her ear.

Just then, I felt a drop of warm liquid on my arm. Instinctively, I took her chin in my grip with the hand that wasn't wrapped around her waist and made her look at me. The tears had spilled over and begun streaming down her cheeks in thin, transparent lines. "Don't cry," I begged. I loathed the fact that she was upset. She didn't deserve to be upset...ever. Rae was too pure for that. "Please don't cry. There's no reason to."

Her body collided against mine with what little space was left between us. She was sobbing now, all her tears becoming soaked into my shoulder. All I could offer was the stroking of her caramel-colored hair and gently rocking her petite, tiny body as I repeated, "Everything is going to be okay."

It wasn't enough, and I felt like a failure. She was everything to me that no one else had been. Somehow, this wonderful woman had stepped into my life and now in her time of need, I couldn't help her. I didn't deserve her.

As her sobs quieted, though the tears continued falling, I could make out something she herself kept repeating. "I love you. I don't want to hurt you...I love you."

It was selfish of me to be so elated that she had admitted to loving me when she was still a slave to her self-predicted future with me. But I was. In that moment, I wanted to jump off the couch with her in my arms and kiss her passionately right there in the middle of the room. I wanted to run outside and shout at the people walking on sidewalk that we were in love, that it was the greatest thing that I'd ever heard come from someones lips.

Instead, I put some space between our bodies, my hands willing her away slightly by her slumped, shaking shoulders so that I was able to look at her properly when I said, "Rae, I love you, too. You aren't going to hurt me, just like I'm not going to hurt you. I promise, and I always keep a promise."

The hazel eyes I had come to know so well that were flecked sporadically with brown and gold met my gaze, still watering, but not willing to spill over in the way they had before. As she pressed her lips promptly to mine, I could tell they were tears of joy. I felt the way her heart beat wildly as her chest pressed against mine; I could feel it against my hand that was on her back. And again, I hoped mine was as tangible as hers.

I was in love, and I believed her when she said that she was, too.



Rae's hazel eyes spilled over and the translucent tears rolled down her cheeks once again. She had cried more in one day than she had in the three years that we've been together. But that was just it...we weren't together anymore, and it broke her.

I was sick of the indecisiveness her heart held towards me, sick of the back and forth tug it had on my own heart. I was tired of playing the puppet in the relationship. If she wanted her cake and wanted to eat it, too, then she'd have to find someone else who could handle it. I certainly couldn't anymore. My heart was too fragile and beaten to take another blow.

"Rae, it's just what has to be done. I can't take anymore of this shit from you. My heart isn't invincible," I said as she watched me pack. Her heartbreak wasn't audible, there weren't any sobs or pleadings to stay. She simply sat with the tears cascading into her lap on the couch where she sat.

As I crossed her to the bedroom, I heard her say in a soft, low voice, "I told you this would happen." I pretended not to hear and continued on my way. Remembering that night three years ago separated my heart a little more. But what was one more crack?

I hadn't lived up to my word, because I was sure her heart was severing in some way as well. She had loved me, for the most part, but she was so indecisive, I sometimes questioned whether she really did. I still do, question it that is. Do those tears even mean anything to her? Did they even really mean anything to me?

Of course they did. I didn't care what I said or what I would continue to say...I still loved her; I always would. She just needed to figure out if she loved me completely and always would if something between us were to ever happen again.

"Please don't go yet," she begged gently, whispered almost. Her watering eyes caught mine threatening to pour over. I nearly walked over on impulse to wipe away the fresh salt water and kiss her soft, quivering lips...to tell her everything was going to be okay, but I didn't. I forced my feet to stay rooted.

She breathed deeply, opening her mouth, I thought, to speak, but a simple yawn was released instead. She always seemed to yawn when she cried. Then she said, "I'll miss you if you leave, I know that." I was inquisitive as to what she would say next. "I'm sorry I am so indecisive; I'm so sorry that I've hurt you so badly, though at this point, it should be unforgivable, and there is nothing I can say that could ever make up for what I've put you through. You deserve better than this, than me. I'm a terrible person. I don't deserve anyone like you."

Her words obliterated my heart at that moment, but I wouldn't let her know that. I kept my deception with a straight, solid, stern countenance. I wouldn't sacrifice my heart to her any longer.

After a moment, I broke the silence that deafened the room. "We need to be apart, Rae. It's simply the best decision. I need to think about everything, okay? Just, please...don't beg me to stay." I sliced the invisible tether we had to each other then, grabbing my bags and walking toward the door. Before I stepped out, I said, "Take care of yourself."

Behind the closed door, I could hear the sobs breaking through from her chest. The prick of my own tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them back. I wasn't going to cry over her. I was finally freeing my heart of the pain.