Scream Harder.

Love is a four letter word to me. That's all it will ever be. Why? Because I believe that nobody is capable of loving me. I'm just not a love able person. If I was I would be at home with my mother talking about my day, talking about which boy I think is cute. Who I want to take to homecoming. But I'm not. Instead of a loving mother who will listen to me. I got a bitch.

All she cared about was getting high and making money. It doesn't matter what she had to do. She had to get money to buy her drugs or medicine as she called it.

Either she sell herself or she sell me. It seems like everybody gets raped once and a while.Well in the stories I read, but in reality... It's worse than they say.

Now what was we talking about? Oh yeah how I'm unlovable. Instead of sitting here talking to a therapist who I no don't give a shit about me just wants to get paid. I should be talking to my mother. But not every ones life is a fairy tale. I can tell you that.

"Najel are you listening?" My therapist said, knocking me out of my thoughts.

I shook my head at him. After a year I learned that it doesn't matter if you talk about it. It still hurts and talking about it makes it worse. So I just never say anything. I just stare off into space thinking about random things until it's over.

A sigh escape his lips. "Najel you no if you don't try it's pointless for you to even do this?"

I looked at him like he was the dumbest person on earth. Who the hell said I even wanted to come here. I'm force to come here. If I don't go their take my guitar away. And trust me that's big.

"You can go."

I smiled and got up. I walked out and upstairs to my room. I turned on Brick By Boring Brick by paramore. And hummed under my breathe as I slowly drifted off into a slumber.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It felt like only minutes when I knew it was hours that I was awoken by Sean my roommate. He's really cool. He tried to befriend me when I first came here. But gave up after the six month. Sometimes he still tries to struck up a conversation but is always disappointed.

He smiled when he seen me open my eyes."Time for school."

I nodded and got up. I pulled out dark blue skinnies and a white V-neck. I put my hair up into a pony tail and brushed my teeth.

Sean was waiting for me when I got back into the room. He finds it his job to protect me from all the boys that try to have sex with me. I smiled at him and we walked to our first class which is history.

When we got there he sat down right next to me and started to try and make conversation. Like every other day I ignored him and looked at the door waiting for the teacher to come so he could shut up.

The teacher walked in and looked at me." Who's Martin Luther King Jr.?"

I rolled my eyes and ignored him. He always tries to make me seem dumb by asking me these stupid question. When he knows I'm the top of his class and probably smarter than him. Maybe that's why he hates my guts.

"Answer me bitch!" He yelled in my face. I ignored him like every other time and let Sean handle it.

The rest of the day went on like that. Teachers treating me like I'm stupid and Sean protecting me.The only thing different is that the period before lunch the teacher told me I had to go to the office.

"Ah there you are Najel." Said the owner of the foster people place.

I nodded and raised my eyebrows wondering what she wanted. She smiled and told me to sit down next to this old guy. Hm he looks familiar.

"Najel this guy is looking for a daughter. He descried someone like you." She smiled. She is the only one who's nice to me other than Sean. I smiled smally back.

"His name is Brian Haner." She said.

As soon as she said that I snapped my eyes towards him. I knew I recognized him. He's the father of Synster Grates. Who's also in my favorite band. He looked at me and smiled. My smiled turned down once I realized he's not going to adopted me. I mean why would he adopt me? I'm a loner a freak.

His expression became confused."Uh Nigel?"

"Najel." I corrected him softly. I don't no who came up with that name, but who ever did it fits me perfectly.

"Sorry Najel. Um will you come and live with me? Ms.Orwlin told me how your such a big fan of my son's music and how you are a amazing girl... And I will love to have you come live with me."

I stared at him wondering if I should trust him. Every person who came to see me would say that but only ended up giving me back because I was to quiet. But when I looked in his eyes I seen what I didn't see in anyone of their eyes before. I saw truth.

So all I did was nod and get up to pack.