Say the Last Goodbye

* * * * * *

I smiled, momentarily forgetting my fears, when I saw my parents log home emerge from the it's hiding spot in the woods. I had always loved that it was set in basically a big clearing but hidden deep in the woods. Kind of like my grandparents house...

"So, mom, how's grandpa doing so far?" I asked, almost fearfully.

She paled a bit but still smiled. "He's doing okay so far. You're brother is coming up later tomorrow so that we can all go see him."

I nodded before climbing out of my dad's truck to grab groceries and bring them inside.

* * * * * * *

I watched my mom stir in all the ingredients for chili. I felt like I was a young girl watching my mom cook all over again. She mumbling to herself occasionally before mixing something together. That was definitely something that reminded me of home.

I looked out the window for just a moment before getting startled back to looking back at my mom when she swore pretty loudly.

"What?" I asked , my eyes wide.

"I forgot to get chili seasoning!"

"I'll go get it quickly." I offered, silently hoping that she would just make dad go get it.

Of course, that would make life to easy for me. "Would you, Honey?"

I plastered on a smile, nodded, and grabbed my truck keys.

I tried really hard to pay attention but I was just to captivated by panic at the thought of running into Tom again somewhere.

Luckily, I didn't see him anywhere in town on my way to the grocery store. I sighed in relief but I still grabbed my switch blade. It provided me that extra "security blanket."

I ran in quickly, found the spice packet, and practically ran to the register. I was anxoius to get out of town and in the security of my home. Yet again, that would make my life to easy. Just as I exited the store, I saw Tom leaning against my truck.

"2006 Chevy Silverado, eh? I knew you always liked Chevy but I thought that you would get a white one instead of silver. Or maybe black would be more fitting, being that you aren't exactly very pure, right darlin'?" Tom grinned at me.

I was frozen in my spot halfway between my truck and the grocery store. Panic squeezed my heart. I tried to keep my breathing slow and even. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

My breathing became strangled wehnTom started to walk towards me, his movement like that of a deadly predator stalking it's prey.

"What are you doing here again?" I managed to whisper.

"Well, this is the only place that will hire me because of you, you little bitch."" His voice was still even and calm even though it had dropped a few menacing octaves.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "They shouldn't have even done you that much of a kindness."

Then Tom gave me the look that told me that he was close to hitting me. A look that, sadly, i knew all to well.

"I'll scream..." I weakly threatened.

"Oh, how I want to make you scream. I miss hearing you scream..." He whispered almost lovingly, making me sick to my stomach.

Tom was now only a few inches from my face. I watched him warily, like that of a caged animal, as he, ever so softly, placed a kiss on my cheek.

I couldn't breathe. I was frozen to the spot, my muscles tensed to the point of pain. My body was rigid and all Tom did was laugh.

"See ya, barbie." Tom whispered, using his nickname for me.

I stayed in the spot while he walked into the grocery store. Then, almost as if on auto-pilot, I got in my truck an drove home.

* * * * *

I pulled into the driveway, shut off my truck, and brought my mom's chili seasonings to the kitchen. She wasn't there when I walked in and that gave me some kind of relief. I didn't want her seeing me falling apart at the seems.

Throwing the packet onto the counter, I headed out through my mom's extravagant flower and vegatable garden to the bunkhouse. I needed to be alone. I needed to have time to myself. Even if it was just for a moment...

However, the silence just seemed to suffocate me. I started hyperventilating and freaking out.

The first person to pop in my head to contact was Tanya. I called her immediately when I thought of this. My hands were shaking so badly that I accidentally called three people before finally getting to Tanya's number.

"Bout time you called me, Bitch!" Tanya's cheery voice only calmed me a fraction.

"Oh god, Tanya!" I started to sob, "Tom is out of prison! I saw him! He came up to me. HE EVEN FUCKING TOUCHED ME!" I started sobbing uncontrollably.

"Babe... Babe, listen to me." I could tell that she was trying to not freak out, "I need you to calm down. Take deep breaths."

I tried but I just couldn't get my breathing under control.

""Alright, Katie, I want you to lay down on the floor with you cheek pressed flat against the carpet or wood or whatever is there."

I obliged, shakily lying flat on the floor.

"Are you on the floor?"

I mumbled my consent through my sobs.

"Okay, good. Now I want you to close your eyes and try and empty your mind. Think of something that makes you happy. Think of... Think of Travis's warm embrace. All the good times you had with him." Even through my panic attack, I could tell that Tanya was unsure of this proposal.

But it worked. Thinking of Travis comforted me and I was able to remember how safe he made me feel. Like nothing bad was ever going to happen.

A small smile graced my lips and my breathing calmed to the point where someone would have probably thought that I had fallen asleep on the floor.

"Are you better now?"

I hummed my consent; unable to use words just yet.

"Good. Now, I want you to take a nap. Keep thinking about Travis. Think about how he comforted you when you freaked out about the smallest things like that time when you lost your favorite sunglasses." She gave a short laugh which I surprisingly joined in.

I smiled again when I saw Travis's face in my mind's eyes. I missed him so much but I was happy that even now, he could still comfort me...

On that thought, I succumbed to darkness.