He's Dying to Get Inside

Alex sat on the bench at the park, a brand new notebook in his hands.
He sat and thought of words to say, words to write that could make or break the beginning of his and Raylee's relationship.
He wished the words would just magically appear on the pages and deliver themselves to Raylee's doorstep, and everything would be okay.
But that would be impossible.

A good hour or so passed before Alex even picked up his pen.

"Raylee," he began writing.

"I want to start out by saying I'm sorry. I know this means nothing to you right now, because I messed up far more than I should have. I want you to know, Mel meant nothing to me. She was just a fling on tour because I was lonely, because I missed you and had no one to hold. (Well, I had Jack, but he's really hairy). I want you to know I thought about calling you every day on tour, but I got so nervous, and I have no idea why. I was just scared, I guess. I missed you so much, and your voice would have been enough to throw me into a mess. I realize now that talking to you would have only helped us in the long run. "

He pulled his hand from the page, read it over, and began again.

"I remember that day in Rian's house, when he and Kara locked us in his room. I thought you hated me and regreted even getting to know me. I felt so guilty for forcing myself on you. I had these intense feelings for you, and the only way I knew how to show you was through sex. I thought I loved you then, that night. But there in Rian's room, when you took the initiative to get us back together, to make everything okay, I realized then that I loved you even more. I still love you, and I guess what I'm getting at is, it's my turn. It's my turn to fix everything, to make everything better.
This is just the beginning."

he signed his name at the bottom of the page, before tucking it under his arm and going home.

He still had the rest of the book to finish.