Sitting In My Trackie Bums!

<Kathy>
Ah lovely,Rachel has sent me a parcel.
Rachel has covered the gift with dirty under ware just in case someone tries to nick it,and by the looks of things shes been at the laxatives again.
''Come here Tabby!''I shout and she walks two meters closer.
''ok!''She shouts back and sits down next to me,picking up a pair of dirty knickers
''Urgh its all phooey!''Says Tabbitha throwing the under ware across the room.
Unfortunately Jason is hit as he walks through the door.
''AHHH THAT'S DISGUSTING!''He shouts and runs upstairs.
''Look Auntie,mummy's been eating corn.''Tabitha says inspecting a pink fluffy thong and pointing to the yellow kernel that's covered in brown muck.
''So she has.''I say pulling it out,giving it a wipe and popping it into my mouth.
''Is'nt that a bit discusting Auntie?'' Tabby says
''Its OK,its recycling,and besides me and Rachel are sisters,we share everything.''
''Does that make a difference then?''
''Course it does.''I say giving her a special wink ''Not many people know that though.''
''Ohh.''
''Yes but keep it hush hush we don't want Jason going through the bin.''I say
''Secrets safe with me.''Tabbitha says
Just then Jason walks in,drying his hair with my old post man pat towel.
''I have a special secret.''Tabbitha says
''What is it?''
''Can't tell you.''
''Please Tab,I will get sick and die if you don't and it will be all your fault.'' Jason says,coughing and falling to the ground
''AUNTY AND MUMMY SHARE EVERYTHING BECAUSE THERE SISTERS AND THAT MAKES IT OK EVEN CORN FROM MUMMY'S POO!'' She blurts
Jason looks like hes going to be sick
''But it was supposed to help!''Tabby shouts
''I will tell you another secret!'' She adds ''When I grow up I stick the labels on apples and marry Michael Jackson!''
''Hes dead.''I say
She looks startled and pulls out a photo of Rowan Atkinson and kisses it on the cheek.
''Thats Mr Bean.''He says
''What?!Thats Mr bean?! I thought he was a window cleaner!'' Tabitha says
''Sorry to break it to you but no.''He tells her
Poor Girl,her life long dream has just been shattered.
''I need to be alone.''She says and walks into the the kitchen part of the room,stuffing her face with chocolate and talking to the picture.
I watch as she feeds it some chocolate and sighs.
''He doesn't even like my cooking.And he refuses to clean up or talk to me!''She says angrily
''Dont look at me like that!''She shouts at Jason who was staring at her like she just told him shes secretly a unicorn.
Poor Tabby.
''Hey can I have some?''I say snatching the chocolate off her.
''Come on Jason,I need to teach you the magic trick.''I say and we leave tabby to argue with the photo.