Sitting In My Trackie Bums!

<Jason>

They all get out of the ridiculously small car,so small that Derek had to ride his motorbike.

''Ooh glad to be out of there,Rita did a fart!'' Yells Kathy.
''It was'nt me it was Mr Sniffles.'' She cries.
''OOOW! MY TUMMY!'' yells Polly.
Chad starts laughing.
''You'r being so bitchy today Mr Sniffles and I don't like it!'' Yells Rita.
''I'll take him off you.'' Says Gerry-Helga
''Oh OK.'' Says Rita cautiously.
''I Just wee-weed my knicker-knacks!'' Shouts Polly.
A man biking past stares and laughs.
''You look like you've wee weed you pants hundred of times!'' Shout Kathy defensively to the man.
''Have not.'' He mumbles and quickly bikes away.
''Maybe your pregnant.'' I say laughing.
''You can't be,you haven't had any anchovies!'' Says Tabitha with a panicked expression.
Gerry-Helga dips her finger in the liquid and licks it.
''Defo preggers.'' She says.
''What?!'' I shout.
''You haven't done any naughty things with the opposite sex before!'' Tabby shouts and we start laughing again.
''Well...''
''Group huddle!'' Yells Kathy
''No boys allowed!'' Rita shouts and kicks them all out which is pointless as they are shouting anyway.
''I did as well!'' She giggles
''With who?'' Kathy guffaws.
''Begins with a D.''
''Daniel?''
''Didi?''
''Its a boy.''
''Dodo?''
''Didgeridoo?''
''Dom?''
''Dick?''
''Dickeroodle?''
''Diggory?''
''Darren?''
Its a bit obvious but they are trying very hard to figure it out.
''Derek?!'' I shout.
''I've got it! Dexter?'' Shouts Kathy.
''No.''
''Darren!'' Yells Tracy.
''No.''
''It was...hehehe...the handsome Derek!''
''Doris?!'' Shouts Tracy.
''Shes already said it but good suggestion from a new member.'' Kathy tells Tracy.
''Ooh Dereeeek!!'' Yells Tabby.
''Can I sit down?!'' Yells Polly.
''I wish I knew what there saying.'' Says Keith,even though they can easily hear they don't think they can because their not in the circle.

<Tabby>
Polly is rushed upstairs into Kathy's bedroom.
''Knife.''
''Chuck.''
''Towels.''
''Chuck.''
''Cardboard box?''
(A makeshift incubator in case something goes wrong)
''Chuck.''
''Wiggles Cd?''
''Chuck.''
''Wiggles Cd?'' I ask.
''You can't have a memorable occasion without big red car playing in the background.'' Gerry-Helga says matter-of-factly.
''I want my figure back!'' Shouts Polly.
''What do you mean Mr Sniffles that size 28 isn't really considered a desirable figure?!'' Says Rita to Mr Sniffles.
''What do you mean she didn't know she was pregnant because shes too obese? That is not very nice.'' Rita says and shoves Mr sniffles into her backpack.
''I thought Gerry-Helga had Mr Sniffles?'' I ask.
''He called me a dirty glue sniffer. I may be dirty but am NOT a glue sniffer!'' Says Gerry-Helga.
''No your lovely.'' I tell her.
''Well...I think I'm fat!'' Says auntie hoping she might be called lovely too.
No one says anything.

Seven hours later

''Ouuuch!'' Yelps Polly.
''I'll deliver the baby.'' Says Gerry-Helga pulling on some gloves.
''Can you deliver baby's?'' I ask.
''Course I can, I was a midwife in the fifty's.''
''Were you around then?''
''Course I was.'' She replies.
She doesn't look a day over thirty.
Well forty at the most.
Ish.

''Here it comes! Push Polly!'' Gerry Helga shouts.
''Tabby now!''
I run across and press play on the CD player.

Toot, toot chuga, chuga big red car, we’ll travel near and we’ll travel far.
Toot, toot chuga, chuga big red car, were gonna ride the whole day long.

She keeps pushing,we all gather round her and sing at the top of our lungs to the song.
''Murray’s in the back seat, playing his guitar! Murray’s in the back seat, of the big red car!''
Polly screeches and keeps pushing.
''Toot, toot chuga, chuga big red car, we’ll travel near and we’ll travel far!''