Sitting In My Trackie Bums!

<Jason>

It's my last day at Kathy's house. Everyone (including Chad) is watching 'Dora the explorer' on TV.

''SWIPER DON'T SWIPE IT!'' yells Polly.
Wow. They actually believe they are helping the characters by shouting.

I am looking at Kathy's photo album. Apparently according to the writing on the back of the photographs, GH is in every one. I guess she doesn't show up in photographs.

I hear a car horn beep. Chad's mum. She hates Rachel because she has a crush on dad. This is going to be awkward.

<Tabby>
I think Dora the explorer is my favorite show! Its amazing. HONK HONK
Chad's mum is here. I walk over to Chad.
''Can I get your address?''
''Um, OK, it's....123 Iaccoca road.''
123 Usuckcock road. My boyfriends adress.
Chads mum knocks on the door. I run and open it.
My future mum in law glares at me.
''Are you Tiffany?''
''Tabitha.''
''Your mums a bitch.''
''Oh.''
'Rick is mine.''

She walks into the lounge. I follow.
''You're a freak.'' She tells auntie.
You're a fat slag with an Asian kid.'' She tells Polly.
''You're a transvestite'' She tells Tracy.
''You're a lunatic.'' She tells Rita.
''Your a fat wanker.'' She tells Derek.
Finally, after telling Keith she can tell he's divorced and reducing nearly everyone to tears GH steps up.
''Stop insulting my friends.''
''What are you gonna do, glue sniffer?''
''Chi fri ta sa bo ho low tow my by kin keyring!'' Gerry Helga chants.
She keeps chanting, but starts spinning around.
The chants get louder, she spins faster, and...
Whack!
The glue stick flies into Chad's mum's face! Oh goodness.
It bounces back into Gerry Helga's hand.

Chad's mum runs out of the house and leaves in her car.

''Don't worry, we'll drop you off at your house tomorrow.'' Jason tells Chad.
I wink at Chad. He takes a step back. I walk over to him.
''Maybe I should kiss you goodbye before you go home.'' I say, really sexily.
''Maybe you shouldn't?'' He says.
''Maybe I will.''
''Maybe you won't.''
He and Jason walk into the kitchen. I follow. I pick up a cupcake in aunties fruit bowl. And lick it, staring a Chad.

I walk over to the CD player, and turn on some really sexy music ('Kidz party songs')
right now 'Ba ba black sheep' is on. I dance sexily.
Chad and Jason run into the garden. I follow, still dancing. I put my hands on my hips and
shake them winking again. I toss my hair around. Alot.

<Kathy>
Ah, looks like Tabby's doing that dance routine I taught her! maybe I'll join in.

<Chad>
Tabbitha turns on the CD player and starts doing what looks like a crazy mating ritual. She sways her huge hips, randomly, and winks. She starts tossing her hair scarily round her head. It sticks out crazily like she has just had an electric shock. Suddenly Kathy joins in.
''Wahey!''
Kathy looks even worse doing the dance. I run inside and turn of the CD player.
They start singing.
Oh no.
''Baaaaaaaaaaa baaaaaaaaaa blaaaaaack shhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeep have you any wooool. Yeeeeeeessssssssssssssssss sirrrrrrrrrr yessssss sirrrrrr threeee baaags fuuuullllllllllll.''
Tabbitha sings in a fake Scottish accent and out of tune. Kathy sounds like a screeching alien.
''SHUT THE HELL UP YOU'RE AWFUL!'' Yells Jason.
They just sing louder.
Right. That's it.
''I'M NOT YOU'RE BOYFRIEND! YOU'RE AN AWFUL DANCER AND A TERRIBLE SINGER AND YOU ARE OBESE!'' I yell.
They stop.
Oh dear, that might have been a bit mean.