Sitting In My Trackie Bums!
Optivita
<Jason>
The weekend of hell has arrived. Me, Tabby and...Chad, (who actually volunteered to go) are going to stay at auntie K's for the weekend, while dad and Rachel get a nice weekend away from us. Bastards. And de ju vu or what?
I've packed my rucky!'' Yells Tabby as she runs over. Her 'rucky' is stuffed so much that the zip is straining.
''Bloody hell Tabby! what's in there?''
She opens it and a load of junk spills out.
''My diary, fourteen packets of crisps, a bar of chocolate, some clothes, my spiderman mask, some crayons and a colouring in sheet for the car ride, a pack of balloons, some birthday cards, a toy chair and a hula hoop.''
''A hula hoop? do you need it?''
''Yeah!''
''A colouring in sheet?''
''For the car ride!''
''Fourteen packets of crisps?
''So I don't get hungry.''
''A toy chair?''
''That's the most important item.''
''Why?''
''Just is.''
''Fine.''
''What did you pack Jake?''
''I told you, my name's Jason.''
''Yeah but Jake is short for Jason.''
''No it's....''
''What did you pack!?''
''Some clothes, an ipad, and a skateboard.''
''No Jason, you need a colouring in sheet too! and where's your hula hoop?''
''I don't need...''
She runs off.
''Alright Jason?'' Dad walks over. ''Where's Tabby?''
''She's gone to get a hula hoop for me.''
''Oh. Right.''
Tabby runs back with a green hula hoop and a colouring in sheet.
''Here you go!''
''Right. Thanks.''
''Let's go kids.''
We get into the car and drive to Chad's house.
''Hi guys!'' He climbs in.
''Here you go Chad, Jason doesn't want this.''
Tabby hands him my colouring in sheet.
What if I wanted that?
''Ah thanks Tab! a colouring in sheet! and it's got a rocket on it! look at this Jason!''
''I'll have that thanks.'' I swipe it off him.
''I thought you didn't want it?''
''Changed my mind.''
I start colouring it in.
When we arrive there's a crappy banner hanging over the house. It says,
WELCUM BACK TABIFFA JAYSUN AND CJAD! WE MISSED U CWITE ALLLLOT
''Oh dear.'' Dad sighs.
''That's a nice banner!'' Says Rachel.
''Mmm.'' Dad replies.
Kathy and the rest of the gang run out of the house. Kathy's got a horn in one hand, a block of chocolate in the other. She starts tooting the horn.
''Welcome! welcome all!''
Me, Tabby and Chad climb out of the car.
''Right. Well. We'll be off. See you kids!'' Dad yells hurriedly.
They speed off, and run over Mr Sniffles, who is laying in the driveway.
''Oh my god!'' Screams Rita.
''Mr Sniffles!'' Yells Keith.
''Strawberries!'' Yells Gerry-Helga.
Everyone stares at her.
''No, no no!'' Rita runs over and picks Mr Sniffles body. She starts performing CPR.
''Come back to me Mr Sniffles!''
Everyone stands in silence while she checks for a pulse.
Tabby is crying.
It's a bloody toy.
''He's alive!''
''Praise Jesus almighty!'' Yells Derek, who is holding Vagena.
''Mr Sniffles?'' Rita asks.
''Rita, I just want you to know...'' She talks for him, as usual.
''What?''
''Polly looks a right fat bitch in that dress.''
Rita starts to chortle.
''He's gonna be OK!''
Everyone except for me and Polly cheer
The weekend of hell has arrived. Me, Tabby and...Chad, (who actually volunteered to go) are going to stay at auntie K's for the weekend, while dad and Rachel get a nice weekend away from us. Bastards. And de ju vu or what?
I've packed my rucky!'' Yells Tabby as she runs over. Her 'rucky' is stuffed so much that the zip is straining.
''Bloody hell Tabby! what's in there?''
She opens it and a load of junk spills out.
''My diary, fourteen packets of crisps, a bar of chocolate, some clothes, my spiderman mask, some crayons and a colouring in sheet for the car ride, a pack of balloons, some birthday cards, a toy chair and a hula hoop.''
''A hula hoop? do you need it?''
''Yeah!''
''A colouring in sheet?''
''For the car ride!''
''Fourteen packets of crisps?
''So I don't get hungry.''
''A toy chair?''
''That's the most important item.''
''Why?''
''Just is.''
''Fine.''
''What did you pack Jake?''
''I told you, my name's Jason.''
''Yeah but Jake is short for Jason.''
''No it's....''
''What did you pack!?''
''Some clothes, an ipad, and a skateboard.''
''No Jason, you need a colouring in sheet too! and where's your hula hoop?''
''I don't need...''
She runs off.
''Alright Jason?'' Dad walks over. ''Where's Tabby?''
''She's gone to get a hula hoop for me.''
''Oh. Right.''
Tabby runs back with a green hula hoop and a colouring in sheet.
''Here you go!''
''Right. Thanks.''
''Let's go kids.''
We get into the car and drive to Chad's house.
''Hi guys!'' He climbs in.
''Here you go Chad, Jason doesn't want this.''
Tabby hands him my colouring in sheet.
What if I wanted that?
''Ah thanks Tab! a colouring in sheet! and it's got a rocket on it! look at this Jason!''
''I'll have that thanks.'' I swipe it off him.
''I thought you didn't want it?''
''Changed my mind.''
I start colouring it in.
When we arrive there's a crappy banner hanging over the house. It says,
WELCUM BACK TABIFFA JAYSUN AND CJAD! WE MISSED U CWITE ALLLLOT
''Oh dear.'' Dad sighs.
''That's a nice banner!'' Says Rachel.
''Mmm.'' Dad replies.
Kathy and the rest of the gang run out of the house. Kathy's got a horn in one hand, a block of chocolate in the other. She starts tooting the horn.
''Welcome! welcome all!''
Me, Tabby and Chad climb out of the car.
''Right. Well. We'll be off. See you kids!'' Dad yells hurriedly.
They speed off, and run over Mr Sniffles, who is laying in the driveway.
''Oh my god!'' Screams Rita.
''Mr Sniffles!'' Yells Keith.
''Strawberries!'' Yells Gerry-Helga.
Everyone stares at her.
''No, no no!'' Rita runs over and picks Mr Sniffles body. She starts performing CPR.
''Come back to me Mr Sniffles!''
Everyone stands in silence while she checks for a pulse.
Tabby is crying.
It's a bloody toy.
''He's alive!''
''Praise Jesus almighty!'' Yells Derek, who is holding Vagena.
''Mr Sniffles?'' Rita asks.
''Rita, I just want you to know...'' She talks for him, as usual.
''What?''
''Polly looks a right fat bitch in that dress.''
Rita starts to chortle.
''He's gonna be OK!''
Everyone except for me and Polly cheer