You're No Good At Lying

“I told Alex about what we saw last night,” Zack said the next day, and Spencer’s head shot up.

“Oh,” was all she responded with, before continuing to arrange the shirts that she was supposed to sell by the end of the day.

Zack remained silent for a few seconds, before adding, “he didn’t believe me at first, but he called Jillian afterwards and she didn’t deny it or anything.” Zack paused. “He understands that you didn’t want to tell him. He says thanks, though.” Spencer merely nodded. “You know, I don’t understand you,” Zack muttered, running a hand through his hair.

“What’s there to understand?” Spencer asked flatly.

“I don’t know!” Zack exclaimed. “I just feel like after last night, we’re so much closer, you know? Like, we had a moment or something after we saw Jillian and that guy.”

“I don’t understand,” Spencer said. “How was that a moment? It was just us not knowing what to do.”

“That’s the point,” pressed Zack eagerly, as if he had suddenly had an epiphany that Spencer had yet to experience. “We saw each other at our weakest points,” his voice sounded eager and excited, but the simple thought of someone seeing her at her weakest made Spencer’s blood boil with anger. “We had a moment.”

“That’s not a moment,” spat Spencer harshly. “That’s you seeing what I don’t want anyone to see.”

“But I’m not just anyone,” argued Zack passionately. “I’m me! I’m your… your…”

“Say it,” she murmured. “What are you?”

“Your boyfriend,” he finished softly, glancing at her in an effort to see her reaction.

Spencer swallowed hard. “I don’t care if you’re my mother. I don’t want you to see my cry.”

“But I already did!” Zack cried, throwing his hands up in near defeat.

“Yeah, well, it ruined everything, didn’t it?”

Zack rolled his eyes. “What’s with all your walls, Spencer? Fuck all that shit you put up to protect yourself. Let me in!”

“No,” she responded, much to his dismay. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do. And last time I checked, you have a show to perform in forty-five minutes.” Zack stared at her in confusion, in amazement, in shock, before turning around towards his venue. Spencer was left behind at the band merch table, left with a feeling of success and independence, yet slightly hollow inside. But then again, she had never felt completely full.

------------

Grinding her teeth together in her own personal frustrations, Spencer rapidly tossed the few shirts that didn’t sell back into the cardboard box. For some reason or another, she felt like she owed it to Zack to go and talk to him. Yet the more that she thought about it, the more she wondered what she would say. Would she apologize for snapping at him? Or maybe she could try and talk out her ‘issues’ – whatever they may be – with him; he’d like that, she knew for sure. Or maybe –

“Hey, Spencer,” Morgan said, snapping her out of her thoughts. Damn. Why did he always have to do that?

“Hi,” she said flatly. “How was the band’s set?”

“Good,” Morgan replied with a smile. “There wasn’t much for me to do besides tune, though. Kind of dull, but – ”

“Morgan,” Spencer said suddenly, cutting him off midsentence. He didn’t say anything, though. It wasn’t the first time. “What do you do when someone wants to get to know you better, but you don’t really want them around?”

He cocked an eyebrow in confusion, and then began to laugh. “Where’s this coming from?”

Spencer frowned. “I’m just curious,” she muttered softly.

“Well,” Morgan began, leaning forward on the plastic table. “It depends. If their name starts with a ‘Zack’ and ends with a ‘Merrick’, I’d let them get to know you. Because they’re a great guy and they’re really into girls like you. And I know guys like ‘Zack Merrick’ and they’re just what girls like you need.”

She stared at him blankly. “That wasn’t the response I was looking for.”

“Well, Spencer,” Morgan responded, sighing, “In the words of the great philosopher Jagger, ‘you can’t always get what you want.’” Yet again, her expression remained blank. “You’ve got to trust someone, Spence. I was hoping it would be me, mom was hoping it would be her, but obviously it’s not either of us. Give trusting Zack a shot, will you?”

Spencer blinked a few times. “I’ve got to finish working. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“And for Christ’s sake, will you stop changing the subject whenever someone talks about something you don’t want to listen to?” Morgan retorted, before leaving her to finish packing up the remaining shirts.