Stop, Or Go

“I didn’t do it Audrey, I promise!” Alex pleaded, while I sat motionless on the couch. I promised myself when I first started dating Alex two years ago I wouldn’t cry over him, no matter what happened, but it was proving difficult. Kara had taken Jack upstairs because he claimed to be feeling sick, but we all knew it was just because he didn’t like the yelling. “I wouldn’t cheat on you.” My eyes flickered to Rian who didn’t seem to be buying it.

“So tell her what you were doing with that girl then? Because you certainly weren’t treating her like any other fan.” I didn’t want to hear this right now. My ears were ringing and I felt a strong urge to begin biting my nails, even though I had quit years ago.

“That wasn’t anything, Rian. You know that.” Alex spat angrily.

“Didn’t look like anything to me!” Rian yelled. “You spent the entire night with her on The Maine’s bus! She was drunk out of her mind.”

“Were you drunk?” I asked meekly, breaking my silence.

“N – no.” Alex stuttered. I felt my heart drop. I could eventually forgive him if he was drunk, because then he obviously wasn’t thinking. But what if he hadn’t been drinking? Then Alex knew full well what the consequences of his actions were. “Look, Aud, we can talk about this tonight.” Alex whispered, sitting back down next to me on the couch. I could tell his fingers were itching to hold me, but I just held my knees closer to my chest. “But not in front of Rian and Kara and Jack, okay?” I nodded, and Rian rolled his eyes.

“Fine, I’ll go get Kara and we can drive Jack back to his place, but Alex,” Rian said, his eyes piercing through Alex, “if you don’t tell her the truth, I swear –“

“I will, I will.” Alex promised hastily. “I wouldn’t lie to her.”

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The smell of chi tea instantly calmed me as I poured a bit of honey into my mug. Alex was sitting on the sofa flipping through the TV channels, but I could tell as he flipped past his favorite one he wasn’t really watching. I sat down slowly on chair opposite the sofa, careful not to spill my tea, and Alex shut the television off. We sat in silence for a few seconds, before Alex leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “She was really drunk, Audrey. Like, throwing up everywhere drunk. And I was going to call an ambulance but she begged me not to, so I just held her and made sure she wouldn’t choke on her own vomit.”

“And you spent the night with her?” I asked, taking a sip of my tea. It astounded me how calm I was being. Perhaps it was because I didn’t want to make Alex angry. But more likely it was that I was too busy thinking about my parents.

Alex nodded. “What if she died, Audrey?”

“She didn’t, though.” I scoffed.

“I did a good thing! Why are you so angry about that?” Alex asked, the tone of his voicing rising.

“Rian seems pretty convinced you slept with her.” I muttered, and I could tell I had hurt Alex.

“Who cares what Rian says?” Alex asked with a slight, yet hollow, chuckle.

“I do, Alex!” I exclaimed. “I do because I don’t know who to believe!”

“Believe me!” He yelled. “Believe me, because I’m your boyfriend and I love you!”

“Love. What bullshit.” I muttered under my breath, and I was almost positive that Alex couldn’t hear me. I was wrong.

“So that’s your problem, then?” Alex mumbled, leaning back and rubbing his eyes with his hands. “You’re doubting my love for you because of your parents? Audrey, don’t do that! We’re a completely different couple from them! We never fight!” I could feel my hands beginning to shake, so much so that some of my tea spilled out on to my jeans.

“So what are we doing now then!” I cried. “We’re fighting, Alex. We’re fighting just like them because you cheated on me!”

“I didn’t cheat on you!” He roared, standing up and turning his hands into fists. “And if you think I cheated on you, then I’m going to go and spend the night at Jack’s.”

“Fine!” I yelled, standing up. “Go, for all I care!” Our eyes locked for a few seconds, but I refused to let any kind of emotion slip. Alex did the same, but there was something in his eyes. Something I couldn’t identify, but it was there all the same. Finally, Alex spun on his heel and headed for the door, slamming it with a large bang.

The house felt empty all of a sudden.

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“Rian?” I asked quietly when the phone was finally answered. I pulled the covers closer to me, feeling like this bed was too big. It wasn’t like whenever Alex would go on tour and the bed felt lonely; tonight it just felt big. And unlike when he went on tour, I wasn’t wearing one of his shirts. I didn’t want to be able to smell him when he woke up. I didn’t miss him that much.

“Audrey? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” I replied. “Alex is at Jack’s for the night.” He didn’t say anything, so I just continued. “Be honest Rian, do you really think he cheated on me?”

I could hear him sigh. “I love Alex, Aud, you know I do. He’s my best friend. But I have no doubt in my mind he cheated on you.”

“He said that he was just helping her out. That she would have died if he didn’t spend the night with her.” It sounded even less convincing when I said it.

“She was throwing up, sure, but I’ve seen Jack throw up twice as much in one night. She would have been fine even if Alex had gone back to the bus. And he knew that.”

“So what do you think he did?” I asked quietly, not really wanting to know the answer.

“I think he took advantage of her. It wouldn’t have been the first time.”

I nodded to myself, and thanked Rian for his help before hanging up. I had one more person to call before I went to sleep, and I had to mentally prepare myself before dialing her number. I wasn’t even sure how exactly I knew the number off the top of my head, but I did, and for the first time knowing how to reach Jenny, Alex’s ex-girlfriend, would come in handy.

“Hello?”

“Hi, um, my name is Audrey Johnson and –“

“Oh, you’re Alex’s girlfriend!” She exclaimed with a giggle, and I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that I wouldn’t have to introduce myself. “I figured you’d call me eventually.”

“Why’s that?” I asked, genuinely curious. She giggled again, like I was on the outside of some inside joke.

“Oh, you’ll figure it out one day. So what’s wrong?”

“Well, I was just wondering – if you don’t mind, of course – telling me about how you and Alex broke up? I mean I don’t want to bring up any bad memor –“

“Girlie, if you could see me now, you’d be thrilled for me! Alex cheating on me was the best thing that could have happened! We’ll have to meet up one day, so I can show you my ring. My boyfriend proposed to me last week, and honey, you should see this rock! It’s a planet!” She giggled again, and I forced a laugh, too. “But anyways, was that all you wanted to know?” No, it wasn’t, I thought angrily to myself. If she had listened before talking, she would have learned that I already knew Alex cheated on her.

“Would you mind also telling me if he denied cheating on you or not. Like, if he came clean or –“ Damn, would she ever stop cutting me off?

“Hah! Aud, babe, he still hasn’t come clean about it! And I’m not even angry anymore. I’m happy as a clam! Did he cheat on you, too? Girl, get your pretty little self out of there right now, that boy’s no good. I have no doubt in my mind he cheated on you – no offense, of course.”

“None taken,” I mumbled, but it seemed she didn’t even hear me.

“I’m telling you: get yourself out of there while you can. I know he’s good looking, I know he’s good in bed – boy, is he good in bed. He puts my fiancé to shame! Don’t tell him I told you that, though – and I know he lives a one-of-a-kind lifestyle, but don’t be fooled. He cheats on you once, shame on him, but if he cheats on you twice, shame on you. No doubt about it.”