Better Off As Lovers.

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Jack Barakat and Alex Gaskarth did not have what one would call a normal friendship. In fact their friendship was far from normal. The two twenty year olds had been friends for almost thirteen years. They had met one day when Jack approached the new kid from England and asked him did he want to play Lego with him.

The rest as they say is history. From that day onwards the pair were inseparable. They did everything together. Nothing could break the strength of their friendship. Even when Alex was sent to a strict private school and Jack was set loose on the public school system the stayed best friends. As Jack himself most famously put it “I loved the dude but there was no way you’d catch me putting up with snobby rich kids for him”

Over the years many things changed. Styles and trends came and went. Girls came and went. Alex switched from public to private school and they had a larger group of friends. However, the one thing that remained constant was their friendship. They were the dynamic duo. They were troublesome but rarely got in trouble for their pranks. It was rare to see one without the other. It was always “Alex and Jack... “and “Jack and Alex...” Their parents had grown so used to the other boy that they were like family.

It was during these years that the two teenage boys decided that music was going to be their future. With the help of two of their close friends, Rian and Zack, they started a band. Jack on guitar, Alex on vocals and guitars, Zack on bass and Rian on drums. Like any young band they started by playing covers of their favourite bands like Blink 182, Green Day and New Found Glory. They called themselves All Time Low.

It was Jack who encouraged Alex to put his song writing talent to use. Soon enough the band had a small but impressive repertoire of original songs. The next year or two was spent playing as many shows as possible. They played at parties during the weekends and gigs in little club and halls. Their vacations and breaks from school were spent playing support to local bands on small tours. Their hard work didn’t go unnoticed and they attracted the attention of Hopeless Records. Halfway through their final year they signed their record deal.

At school no one really cared much about the fact the band had gotten signed. They didn’t understand what it was or what it meant to the band. This didn’t bother the ban though. They knew what it meant to them. They knew what kind of opportunities it would open for them as a band. If anyone understood just how much it meant to Alex it was Jack and vice versa. It was with then the band set out with a passion stronger than anything else burning within them. They were determined to make a name for themselves in the music business. More importantly they were determined to have fun.

It was during the years that followed that Alex and Jack’s friendship veered away from normality. The pair grew closer than ever before. Jack was always there for Alex. When Alex got frustrated about a song he wrote or when he felt like all hope was loss, Jack would always be there to give a shoulder to cry on or a comforting hug. When Jack began to miss home or got fed up of touring life, Alex was always there for him.

Being in a band on tour is no easy feat. All Time Low were no exception to the rules. Their early days as a band were spent lugging their gear around the country on support tours. They slept in their vans cramped conditions and took turns in driving. Alex and Jack had no issues cuddling close together as they slept and after a drunken kiss one night a whirlwind romance ensued. At first, it only happened on nights when one or both of them had had too much to drink. It was a sloppy alcohol fuelled clashing of lips and teeth.

Tour life is a lonely life and one of the places you can truly feel lonely in a crowd. Jack and
Alex enjoyed their drunken encounters more than they liked to and more than they knew they should. Somewhere along the line their encounters became more and more frequent and less and less alcohol fuelled. They never discussed the change in their relationship but just let things happen. While Rian, Zack and their crew liked to call them “Make out buddies” they never talked about it or made anything official. Regardless of this, something had changed. Drunken sloppy alcohol and hormone fuelled kisses were replaced with tender, sweet kisses. They happened during stolen moments during the day and in the privacy of their alone time in the van.

Unknown to the other their feelings for each other were developing, changing and growing. Alex longed for the spark he felt when he was with Jack. Alex knew what he felt was more than friends. He made the decision to refrain from telling his raven haired best friend. Alex was positive he wouldn’t feel the same way.

Jack lived for the happiness he felt when he spent time with Alex. He never felt happier than when he was with his best friend. Jack knew he felt more for Alex than he should. He knew that best friends, regardless of how close they were did not feel like that for each other. Jack had never felt this way for anybody before not even for his ex girlfriend. Who he’d thought was the one!

Jack feared that he’d lose his closest friend if Alex ever discovered the feelings that he had for him. That would hurt Jack more than anything. So, Jack kept his feelings to himself. They still had their “Jack and Alex alone time” and that was enough for now.

****

Jack never meant to say those words aloud but he had. He didn’t know where it had come from. He was usually so good at hiding his feelings. Everything had been happening as it normally did. Alex and Jack were in the back lounge of their bus. They had just finished their final show of their first ever headlining tour and they were home ward bound to Baltimore. The show had gone perfectly. Everything had gone perfectly up until Jack, getting caught up in the moment, had said those words. Now Alex had pulled away, his brown eyes wide in disbelief.

“Jack. What did you just say?”

Jack knew he’d ruined everything. He was silent as he went through his options. He could tell the truth or he could lie. In his heart, Jack knew his only real option was honesty. He had never been able to lie to Alex and when he had Alex had always seen straight through his lie.
Jack took a deep breath trying to prepare himself for the words he was about to say.

“I said.... I said I love you.”

Alex was silent after Jack blurted out his confession.

“You love me?” Alex questioned pronouncing each word individually. His voice held no indication of how he felt hearing Jack say these words.

Jack took his hand out of Alex’s grip as he stood to leave the back room. He knew he’d ruined everything. As he began to walk he felt himself being pulled back by Alex.

“Please don’t go Jack.” Alex said softly taking Jack’s hand in his. “I need you here. I love you too.”

The mixture of feelings Jack felt as Alex pulled him into a hug was un -describable.

“Do you mean it? Do you really mean it?”

Alex looked the raven heart boy who had stolen his heart in the eyes before nodding his head.

“Of course I mean it Jack. I love you. If we are to make this work though we have to start over and begin again.”

Jack pulled back smiling at Alex.

“Hi! My name is Jack. Do you want to play Lego with me?”