I Loved You, Once
Lilacs
Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, I would have better things to do in life than write fan fiction. I do it for the fun.
Previously: I sniffed the air. Veges, gross. Now I was mad.
Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you.
-Yasser Arafat
B POV
I saw Jason in his fighting stance; I had never seen it before. He was crouched low, arms extended, chest low to the ground. I could see the outline of his muscles through the thin shirt he wore, and I wanted nothing more than to rip it off.
Trying to at least pretend to focus on the task at hand, I scoped out the Veges, checking to see which ones I would have to take out to get to Jason and get the hell out of here. I was grateful to God that the wind was on my side. This way, they had not smelled me yet. I saw a small, pixie looking one who looked pretty defenseless (from the back anyway) and a large burly one who I knew I could never take out on my own. There was a tall, lanky one, and a-. Oh my God. No. These were the Cullens. Shit. I quickly scanned their thoughts to double check.
He feeds on humans.
Where is she?
I know I smell her on him.
Who the hell is this guy?
Why am I here?
Why me? Ugh! I stepped out of the shadows. My life sucks, but I couldn't let them hurt Jason. "Cullens!" I shouted, though I didn't have to. They would have heard me if I whispered. Confused, they turned around to look at me. Jason took their moment of confusion to rush to my side.
You know it's them? He asked silently. I tilted my head slightly. Why isn't Edward with them? I didn't answer; I didn't know.
The Cullens looked like they were seeing a ghost. Their thoughts mirrored their expressions. They stood there for a while, mouths agape. I struggled to prevent myself from laughing, but I was also confused. Hadn't they smelled me?
Wow! Bells is hot! Emmett. I should have been flattered.
I thought we had just smelled wrong. I should have known better. Jasper. I should have been smug.
My best friend! Alice. I should have felt welcomed.
So this is Isabella. Unidentified person. I should have been confused. I was.
The brat is back. Great. Rosalie. I glared at her.
Ok, so that explained their reaction, but who is the new girl? And where is Edward - not that I cared, right? Alice, being...well, Alice, was the first to speak.
"Bella!" She shouted happily, while bouncing up to hug me. I stiffened in her embrace. How dare she come up to me as if nothing was wrong? She didn't notice my reaction, but I'm sure Jasper felt the anger rolling off of me. I pushed her away.
"What the hell Alice?" I shouted. "How dare you and your family leave me alone to fend for myself, to be attacked, and broken, and then not just come back and act as if nothing happened, but try to attack my boyfriend in the process?!" A storm suddenly started as if to match my mood. "I hate you all!" She looked hurt and afraid, but I didn't let that faze me. "Stay away from me and my family!"
With that I turned and stalked off, at human pace - the people were still around. I could hear the confusion, anger, and...regret? in their thoughts. Why were they remorseful? They left me. I was vaguely aware of Jason beside me as I hopped on the bike and waited for him to get on. He silently slid on the back and held me; he knew that I needed to drive.
The ride home was silent. I replayed the scene that had occurred tonight, and though I hated them, I remembered the memories of all the times that they, or he, had saved my life. Ugh! This is so confusing. Before I knew it, I was parked in the garage, and Jason was getting off.
"Bella."
"What?" I snapped, though I immediately regretted it. Jason wasn't the one to be angry at; it was the Cullens, they had left me for death. "Jason, I-"
"Just forget it, Bella. Forget it." With that he stormed off. Just fucking perfect. The Cullens were back in my life for less than two hours and they had already ruined it. Well I wouldn't let them. I had to make things right with him. I walked to door slowly, thinking about how to apologize for my behavior, hoping that he wasn't too angry at me. I opened up the door and froze. I saw Steph and Chris talking on the couch talking to another pair of vampires. They turned around when they heard the door open. I mentally cursed; I really did have the worst luck in the world.
"Bella honey," Steph practically sang, "this is Carslile and Esme Cullen. Th-" I walked back out the door. This really was too much for me.
Bella Swan! Get back here! I heard Christopher's thoughts loud and clear.
What's wrong, sweetie?
Carslile and Esme's thoughts were ones of...happiness? What the hell is wrong with this family? First they say they love me, then they leave me, now they're happy to see me? They really need to make up their minds. With that I was running. I didn't know where I was going, but immediately recognized the place when I stopped - Reflection Pond, as Jason and I had come to call it. Jason. I really had to apologize to him. I walked past the remaining brush to get to the edge of the pond. I saw a shape at the end of the pond, but I paid it no mind - until it looked up, that is. I realized that the figure was actually two people, or rather a vampire and a human? That brought back so many memories. I felt the ache in my heart return, the ache I hadn't felt in over six months. The numbness that Jason had made go away, the wound that I thought he had healed. I felt like dry sobbing right there. But I didn't. I wouldn't give Edward the satisfaction. I would not cry over him.
The wind blew towards me and I smelled it. Blood more delicious than I ever thought possible - freesias, with a hint of lilac. All thoughts of Edward were gone. I had to get that blood. I felt like the newborn I am, though I had always been good at controlling my thirst. I ran, faster than I ever had before. She - he - whatever gender that human was - was mine. When I got there, the vampire was already in his fighting stance.
No one's going to hurt my Nicole. His thoughts were protective. I felt an odd sense of deja vu but I brushed it off. He moved 'Nicole' behind him. Then I looked at his face and into those beautiful topaz eyes that frequently dazzled me and would always have a place in my heart. Edward. My next thoughts confused me. I wanted nothing more than to jump into his arms and tell him that I loved him. No! Stop it, Bella! You have Jason. And he has this 'Nicole.' I sneered her name.
"Bella?" He asked in awe.
"Isabella to you." I replied coldly. He would not get the better of me. 'I do not love him.' I chanted over and over.
"I thought you were dead." She's thirsty. I do not love him.
"I am," sarcasm dripping from my voice. "But I'm also thirsty." I said, grinning. I do not love him.
"B-Isabella, you don't want to do this." I do not love him.
"Don't I?" I asked, distracted, while eying my next meal. He noticed, and shifted his positions so that he was completely blocking her from view. I frowned.
"You'll never forgive yourself for taking a human life."
"A human life?" He looked at me, confused, until realization dawned on him.
"You..you drink from humans?" I nodded. My sweet Bella, a human drinker... 'My sweet Bella?' I don't understand! Nicole started to whimper. I couldn't do this. I have to get away. He turned around to comfort her, and I took my chance. I turned and ran. (A/N lol got you there, didn't I?)
I have to get away. I can't stay here, not with the Cullens roaming about. They really do know how to ruin everything. I thought about what need. I could always buy clothes where ever I went, but I wanted my bike. I ran back to the house and silently went out back, to the garage.
What I saw broke my heart. Jason was siting on my bike with a picture of us at Reflection Pond that I had begged Steph to burn. Jason and I were in the middle of the pond, soaked, because he thought it would be funny for us to try to jump from one side to the other. I almost made it, too, but he decided to pull me down into the water with him, mid-jump. I smiled at the memory and began to rethink my decision. Did I really want to be away from Jason just because I couldn't deal with the Cullens? He looked up.
"Bella, I love you. You know that right?" I nodded. "You are my first and only love, and you will always be." I opened my mouth to speak, but he held up his hand, signaling for me to stop. "All I want is for you to be happy." Even if it isn't with me.
"What are you saying?" Is he breaking up with me?
"I'm saying that I love you, but I understand that I'm not enough for you anymore."
"What?"
"Bella, you're leaving me!"
"I'm not!" He arched an eyebrow.
"First, you stormed off to God knows where. Then, you come back in smelling like him. Third, you sneak in! Not into the house, mind you, but into the garage to get your bike, I presume? Well don't let me stop you!" It then dawned upon me just how much I had hurt him. I'm a horrible person. What did I do to deserve someone like him?
"I'm sorry Jason! I just...I really need to get away. From all of this. It is getting too much for me.." I was on the verge of tears, or venom, I guess.
"I'm getting too much for you? Why didn't you just say that? You're leaving. Leaving me!"
"Not you! Never! This whole...thing. With the Cullens. And I was going to come back! I would never leave you Jason." Those words sounded oddly familiar to the ones I had heard constantly over a year ago.
"We could have left together. I would have gone with you. I would do anything for you," he whispered.
"I know. I'm sorry Jason. I'm sorry for everything." He sighed and closed the distance between us. He pressed a soft kiss to my lips and held me close.
"I know, Bella. It's ok." I thought about how happy I felt just to be in his arms despite everything that was happening. I pulled away and looked into his eyes.
"I love you Jason." At first he was surprised, then overjoyed.
He smiled triumphantly and said, "I love you, too Bella." Then we kissed. It was long and passionate, unlike any kiss we had share before. I poured all of my emotions into that kiss and I know he did the same. We pulled away, gasping for breath, even though we didn't need to breathe.
Suddenly he frowned. I looked at him, confused. "We need to go get my parents. Something bad's about to happen."
Previously: I sniffed the air. Veges, gross. Now I was mad.
Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you.
-Yasser Arafat
B POV
I saw Jason in his fighting stance; I had never seen it before. He was crouched low, arms extended, chest low to the ground. I could see the outline of his muscles through the thin shirt he wore, and I wanted nothing more than to rip it off.
Trying to at least pretend to focus on the task at hand, I scoped out the Veges, checking to see which ones I would have to take out to get to Jason and get the hell out of here. I was grateful to God that the wind was on my side. This way, they had not smelled me yet. I saw a small, pixie looking one who looked pretty defenseless (from the back anyway) and a large burly one who I knew I could never take out on my own. There was a tall, lanky one, and a-. Oh my God. No. These were the Cullens. Shit. I quickly scanned their thoughts to double check.
He feeds on humans.
Where is she?
I know I smell her on him.
Who the hell is this guy?
Why am I here?
Why me? Ugh! I stepped out of the shadows. My life sucks, but I couldn't let them hurt Jason. "Cullens!" I shouted, though I didn't have to. They would have heard me if I whispered. Confused, they turned around to look at me. Jason took their moment of confusion to rush to my side.
You know it's them? He asked silently. I tilted my head slightly. Why isn't Edward with them? I didn't answer; I didn't know.
The Cullens looked like they were seeing a ghost. Their thoughts mirrored their expressions. They stood there for a while, mouths agape. I struggled to prevent myself from laughing, but I was also confused. Hadn't they smelled me?
Wow! Bells is hot! Emmett. I should have been flattered.
I thought we had just smelled wrong. I should have known better. Jasper. I should have been smug.
My best friend! Alice. I should have felt welcomed.
So this is Isabella. Unidentified person. I should have been confused. I was.
The brat is back. Great. Rosalie. I glared at her.
Ok, so that explained their reaction, but who is the new girl? And where is Edward - not that I cared, right? Alice, being...well, Alice, was the first to speak.
"Bella!" She shouted happily, while bouncing up to hug me. I stiffened in her embrace. How dare she come up to me as if nothing was wrong? She didn't notice my reaction, but I'm sure Jasper felt the anger rolling off of me. I pushed her away.
"What the hell Alice?" I shouted. "How dare you and your family leave me alone to fend for myself, to be attacked, and broken, and then not just come back and act as if nothing happened, but try to attack my boyfriend in the process?!" A storm suddenly started as if to match my mood. "I hate you all!" She looked hurt and afraid, but I didn't let that faze me. "Stay away from me and my family!"
With that I turned and stalked off, at human pace - the people were still around. I could hear the confusion, anger, and...regret? in their thoughts. Why were they remorseful? They left me. I was vaguely aware of Jason beside me as I hopped on the bike and waited for him to get on. He silently slid on the back and held me; he knew that I needed to drive.
The ride home was silent. I replayed the scene that had occurred tonight, and though I hated them, I remembered the memories of all the times that they, or he, had saved my life. Ugh! This is so confusing. Before I knew it, I was parked in the garage, and Jason was getting off.
"Bella."
"What?" I snapped, though I immediately regretted it. Jason wasn't the one to be angry at; it was the Cullens, they had left me for death. "Jason, I-"
"Just forget it, Bella. Forget it." With that he stormed off. Just fucking perfect. The Cullens were back in my life for less than two hours and they had already ruined it. Well I wouldn't let them. I had to make things right with him. I walked to door slowly, thinking about how to apologize for my behavior, hoping that he wasn't too angry at me. I opened up the door and froze. I saw Steph and Chris talking on the couch talking to another pair of vampires. They turned around when they heard the door open. I mentally cursed; I really did have the worst luck in the world.
"Bella honey," Steph practically sang, "this is Carslile and Esme Cullen. Th-" I walked back out the door. This really was too much for me.
Bella Swan! Get back here! I heard Christopher's thoughts loud and clear.
What's wrong, sweetie?
Carslile and Esme's thoughts were ones of...happiness? What the hell is wrong with this family? First they say they love me, then they leave me, now they're happy to see me? They really need to make up their minds. With that I was running. I didn't know where I was going, but immediately recognized the place when I stopped - Reflection Pond, as Jason and I had come to call it. Jason. I really had to apologize to him. I walked past the remaining brush to get to the edge of the pond. I saw a shape at the end of the pond, but I paid it no mind - until it looked up, that is. I realized that the figure was actually two people, or rather a vampire and a human? That brought back so many memories. I felt the ache in my heart return, the ache I hadn't felt in over six months. The numbness that Jason had made go away, the wound that I thought he had healed. I felt like dry sobbing right there. But I didn't. I wouldn't give Edward the satisfaction. I would not cry over him.
The wind blew towards me and I smelled it. Blood more delicious than I ever thought possible - freesias, with a hint of lilac. All thoughts of Edward were gone. I had to get that blood. I felt like the newborn I am, though I had always been good at controlling my thirst. I ran, faster than I ever had before. She - he - whatever gender that human was - was mine. When I got there, the vampire was already in his fighting stance.
No one's going to hurt my Nicole. His thoughts were protective. I felt an odd sense of deja vu but I brushed it off. He moved 'Nicole' behind him. Then I looked at his face and into those beautiful topaz eyes that frequently dazzled me and would always have a place in my heart. Edward. My next thoughts confused me. I wanted nothing more than to jump into his arms and tell him that I loved him. No! Stop it, Bella! You have Jason. And he has this 'Nicole.' I sneered her name.
"Bella?" He asked in awe.
"Isabella to you." I replied coldly. He would not get the better of me. 'I do not love him.' I chanted over and over.
"I thought you were dead." She's thirsty. I do not love him.
"I am," sarcasm dripping from my voice. "But I'm also thirsty." I said, grinning. I do not love him.
"B-Isabella, you don't want to do this." I do not love him.
"Don't I?" I asked, distracted, while eying my next meal. He noticed, and shifted his positions so that he was completely blocking her from view. I frowned.
"You'll never forgive yourself for taking a human life."
"A human life?" He looked at me, confused, until realization dawned on him.
"You..you drink from humans?" I nodded. My sweet Bella, a human drinker... 'My sweet Bella?' I don't understand! Nicole started to whimper. I couldn't do this. I have to get away. He turned around to comfort her, and I took my chance. I turned and ran. (A/N lol got you there, didn't I?)
I have to get away. I can't stay here, not with the Cullens roaming about. They really do know how to ruin everything. I thought about what need. I could always buy clothes where ever I went, but I wanted my bike. I ran back to the house and silently went out back, to the garage.
What I saw broke my heart. Jason was siting on my bike with a picture of us at Reflection Pond that I had begged Steph to burn. Jason and I were in the middle of the pond, soaked, because he thought it would be funny for us to try to jump from one side to the other. I almost made it, too, but he decided to pull me down into the water with him, mid-jump. I smiled at the memory and began to rethink my decision. Did I really want to be away from Jason just because I couldn't deal with the Cullens? He looked up.
"Bella, I love you. You know that right?" I nodded. "You are my first and only love, and you will always be." I opened my mouth to speak, but he held up his hand, signaling for me to stop. "All I want is for you to be happy." Even if it isn't with me.
"What are you saying?" Is he breaking up with me?
"I'm saying that I love you, but I understand that I'm not enough for you anymore."
"What?"
"Bella, you're leaving me!"
"I'm not!" He arched an eyebrow.
"First, you stormed off to God knows where. Then, you come back in smelling like him. Third, you sneak in! Not into the house, mind you, but into the garage to get your bike, I presume? Well don't let me stop you!" It then dawned upon me just how much I had hurt him. I'm a horrible person. What did I do to deserve someone like him?
"I'm sorry Jason! I just...I really need to get away. From all of this. It is getting too much for me.." I was on the verge of tears, or venom, I guess.
"I'm getting too much for you? Why didn't you just say that? You're leaving. Leaving me!"
"Not you! Never! This whole...thing. With the Cullens. And I was going to come back! I would never leave you Jason." Those words sounded oddly familiar to the ones I had heard constantly over a year ago.
"We could have left together. I would have gone with you. I would do anything for you," he whispered.
"I know. I'm sorry Jason. I'm sorry for everything." He sighed and closed the distance between us. He pressed a soft kiss to my lips and held me close.
"I know, Bella. It's ok." I thought about how happy I felt just to be in his arms despite everything that was happening. I pulled away and looked into his eyes.
"I love you Jason." At first he was surprised, then overjoyed.
He smiled triumphantly and said, "I love you, too Bella." Then we kissed. It was long and passionate, unlike any kiss we had share before. I poured all of my emotions into that kiss and I know he did the same. We pulled away, gasping for breath, even though we didn't need to breathe.
Suddenly he frowned. I looked at him, confused. "We need to go get my parents. Something bad's about to happen."
♠ ♠ ♠
Ok, so I didn't really like this chapter. Not the plot, but the way it was written. I typed it last week, but somehow it got deleted before I could save it. I got really depressed because I put a lot of time into it. I'd feel a lot better if you reviewed. ;) I will update soon. I decided to stop giving deadlines because they always end up late, anyway. lol