Passing Looks and Disappointed Faces

[Frank's P.O.V.]

His concealment was killing me. My insides seemed to be struggling to devour each other, to drench each other in dangerous acid, to dissolve them until they were no more. The churning of my organs produced in me the greatest upset to the point where I could do nothing more than sit myself upon the ground, awaiting his return.

I doubted in his intent to confess everything to his brother, to be quite honest. Still, that doubt nagging at my vulnerable brain could do nothing to take away the hope that he was being true to his words. I was myself quite astonished at how adamant I was for him to tell his brother everything that had occurred. Perhaps it was the terrible feeling that I was still intruding, considering the fact that his brother had still not given me the approval to stay here. Sure, Gerard had given me free range to do whatever I wished here but it did not take away the intruding feeling residing in my churning gut.

I was unsure as to what to do, what with this murdering of my insides, so I merely sat there, staring blankly at the record player with the vinyl still inside. I smiled briefly, bringing my legs close to my body, delicately placing my chin on my knees. I stared but did not bother rising to do anything in particular. There was no point in doing anything, was my bleak conclusion. I was alone once more, away from anyone that could comfort me should need be.

Being alone frightened me. It was uncanny how Gerard kept doing this, kept leaving me in his room without any form of supervision. I wouldn't complain to him, however. It would be most impolite of me to demand him to be by my side at every minute. I was a grown boy; I shouldn't need constant companionship. And still, I yearned for it; for his gentle touch. Bah humbug! I shouldn't need this. Was I somehow obsessed with having him near? Did I somehow sickly need his touch at every moment?

It appalled me now, at this moment, to have to need him at every moment. It certainly wasn't healthy, this fascination of mine. I rolled my eyes at myself, noting the utter ludicrousness in my thoughts. I inhaled deeply, letting out the accumulation of carbon dioxide in my lungs in one sharp exhale. I was alone with naught to do once more; how boring this was becoming. I rested my head against the wall, gaining a more comfortable position in my little area, staring resolutely at the carpet now. There was nothing at all fascinating in the texture of the mildly dirty carpet – nothing at all – but there was nothing much to keep my attention.

That is, there was nothing much until he came along. It was getting to be quite exhausting the way he kept appearing when I was alone and the frequency of his visits were so very predictable it caused me no surprise. I looked up at his gaunt face with tired eyes, the fear only now beginning to settle in. "What do you want?" I asked him bluntly, though I pressed my body further against the wall.

"I thought we already went over this Frankie; I want you." He sneered, a horrible expression that carved his features in a most grotesque manner. I couldn't stand; couldn't move a hair's breadth for fear. He laughed, a disgusting vile chuckle that made me tremble, my limbs already weak beneath me.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"That's no fun, Frankie; you know that."

"Don't call me that," I growled, hugging my legs tighter towards my trembling torso. "Go away."

"Won't you ever learn? I won't go away. I'll be haunting you, Frankie, for the rest of your life. When you think you're rid of me; when you think you're safe, I'll be there. What's the fun in leaving you alone and letting you live your life? There is none." He grinned, a mocking grin, taking a few steps towards me. "Tell me something, won't you? Why did you go running to the police about me? You know you've made me very, very angry. You don't stand a chance at the trial; do you realize that?"

I shook my head resolutely, closing my eyes tightly against his advancing figure. "I'll win, y-you'll see." Despite all my bravery in the moments before this, my cowardice shone through. He laughed again, this time in triumph, still advancing towards me. He was close, too close. Get away from me. Don't you dare touch me. And his hands were now resting on my shoulder, under my chin.

I kept my fragile eyes closed, fearful at what I would see should I open them. His putrid stench filled my nostrils, driving even the calming scent of Gerard's perfume from them. "Open your eyes, Frankie. Don't you want to see me? Can't you look at what you've done?" The hand gripping my chin drew my jaw in a vice grip, an inhuman gurgling growl escaping his lips. I couldn't bring myself to open these accursed eyes of mine; to see the manifestation of my nightmares standing before me. Was it not enough to feel his vile hands bruising my flesh, to have his putrid stench infiltrate my nostrils? Was it not enough to feel his presence near; to be so very frightened of his figure?

The burning sensation his crawling skin left behind caused me nothing but pain and disgust. He was drawing away; I could feel it. And even knowing he wasn't close to my trembling body wasn't enough to drive away the feelings he brought on. A whimper – pitiful, pathetic – escaped my throat. His horrid laughter screeched in my ear, sending chills rushing up and down my fragile spine. I clamped both hands tightly over seashell ears, trying to block out the waves of sound reverberating throughout the room. He wouldn't shut his mouth; wouldn't cease the horrid laughter plaguing me. I lowered my head to my knees, fingers still entwined in the thick locks that comprised my hair. The screams tore at my throat, eager to reveal themselves; to spill out into the vast expanse of this accursed room.

They wanted to present themselves in the most savage way, to tear apart his eardrums as he tore at mine. Revenge, sweet damned revenge, came to my mind. But such a thought was dangerous. Such a thought was what had landed me in so dreadful a predicament as I currently was buried in. I sighed, leaning my head against the wall, unclenching my jaw, the pearls that comprised my teeth gritting against each other to the point of vague aching pain. I allowed my jaw to slack, keeping my eyes closed.

He was gone; of this I was just borderline assured of. There was absolute silence in the room, silence even my haggard breathing could not disrupt. The vile odor that had pervaded his decomposing body lingered in the air but it was so faint I could once again calm my senses with the gentle scent of that glorious perfume that belonged to every square inch of this habitation. I inhaled deeply, wishing to rid myself of that stink, wishing to rid myself of his memory.

Intent as I was in my attempt at calming myself, at steadying my racing heartbeat, I never heard the footsteps creaking down the wooden stairs. It was only when an object was hit, when a clang resounded, however faint, throughout the room, did I become startled, struggling to my feet rapidly. I had not had the bravery to do such in all the time he had been here but now I prepared myself to fight any intruder, to defend myself against my personal demons.

"I talked to him," he greeted, a soft smile adorning his features. I took a subtle breath, curiosity overtaking my urge to let myself fall limp to the ground.

"How did it go?" He smiled once more, a wider smile now, placing his hands on my shoulders and pinning me against the wall. My heart, that organ I had tried to stabilize, sped up again, pounding harshly against my sternum. His smile and his hands were the only things that kept me upright. My legs were shaking beneath me, trembling to the point where if he removed his hands, I would not be able to hold up my own slight frame. He inched closer until his lips were so very close to mine I was virtually breathing what he exhaled.

I couldn't hear his words if I tried, intent as I was on having his lips so very near mine without even the most minimal contact. I strove to make that glorious contact, to have his skin meld into mine. I didn't want him to anything of what had occurred when I was here alone; he would surely think me mad. He would surely send me away from him, banish me to some foreign place as England as the King did to Hamlet in Shakespeare's play. With as much self-control as I could possibly muster, I crashed my lips against his, hungrily devouring the sweet taste of his mouth.

He responded just as eagerly, pressing me harshly against the wall. It hurt but I did not mind at all, focusing now on nipping at his lip, on digging my nails into his back. It seemed the short bursts of pain I inflicted upon him did nothing more than urge him on as he gyrated his hips against mine. A breathy gasp escaped my lips as I pulled apart, needing to return oxygen into my lungs. Time had no limits; time held no meaning. The only thing that mattered was him, his body, his mind intertwining with mine.

I pulled apart again, fear rising in me like a tidal wave. It crashed against me, shattering the peace I had felt. "Gerard," I breathed, pressing my forehead against his, closing my eyes tightly. "Gee."

"What is it Frankie?" he asked gently, pressing his lips against mine. They were comfort; silken heat melting over my lips.

"Nothing, Gee," I breathed after a moment's hesitation as I remembered my own ultimatum, pressing my needy mouth against his again. He cocked an eyebrow but did not argue or question me once more, despite the questions burning in his eyes. Instead, he put all that fervor, all that need, into the kiss, handling me rougher than he had before. Every movement was brusque as he grabbed me around the waist, throwing me onto his bed. Stunned, I lay there for a moment until he crawled over me, pressing our bodies close once again, his hands supporting his body on either side of my head.

Though the sudden heat disconcerted me slightly, the only thing I could do was to bury my fingers in his raven hair, trying to match his desperation. He trailed a line of kisses down my neck to my chest before he returned to my lips, frustration causing him to create more friction between our bodies. "Gerard!" I finally screamed, thrusting my hands out to grab his shoulders. He froze, panting, eyes wide and frightened. Breathing heavily myself, I willed him to calm down, smoothing down flyaway locks of his hair.

With a deep sigh, he rolled off me, lying down beside me, running his hands over his face. He sighed again, hazel eyes suddenly staring at me, pleading for an explanation. "Gerard," I began, turning onto my side, running a hand over his cheek. "Tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours. I already went back once on my promise but I swear to you I won't go back on it again. Either you explain everything to me right this moment or I'm leaving the house and I'll never return." He swallowed hard but agreed.