Passing Looks and Disappointed Faces

[Gerard's P.O.V.]

The words that fell from his mouth disconcerted me. What was he saying? He looked so naïve, so innocent, as he lay there on the bed, upper body draped over mine. His eyes were shining in the dim light, his hands resuming their shaking as he looked at me, waiting for an answer. What was I supposed to say to that? Was there even an appropriate reply for what he was asking? He continued to stare at me, furrowing his brows further with each passing minute in which I remained silent. 3:30 a.m. the alarm clock proclaimed in bright red letters on the nightstand.

"Answer me, Gerard. Every time I tell you to fuck me, you never do. You ignore me completely. I'm not a little kid; I know what I want. If I tell you to fuck me, it's because I mean it, not because I'm just messing with you. I want you to make love to me; I want to make it official. But you never want to listen to me; you never listen to me when I say it to you. Tell me now, Gerard Way; why?"

I had no answer to offer him, my jaw fallen as I gaped at him. He was getting frustrated, angered even, by my lack of response. "Frankie, I...I don't know what to say to you. I just can't do that. You might think it's all fun and games but it's not. It hurts like hell and I don't want to hurt you, babe. I don't want to be the one to make you suffer."

"But I want this, Gerard."

"I'm not prepared to give it to you. You're a virgin, aren't you, Frank? You haven't got the faintest idea about this. You don't know what it's like for someone to fuck you; you're not prepared either."

"Stop treating me like I don't know what I'm talking about. I know what I want; I don't need someone to tell me what I can and can't do. I might only be seventeen but I've got a hell of an idea of what I want. I don't need you to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't need protecting every minute, despite your ideas about it. I know what I'm talking about, so please, Gee; you can protect me from everything else. I know what I'm getting into here." I still had no response for him and so I merely pressed my lips against his tenderly. I didn't want to say anything because I knew anything I said could potentially harm him.

He responded after a few seconds in which I was working my lips against his. When he did, I could feel a drop of moisture drop down to our lips, tainting the kiss with its saltiness. "I'm sorry," I apologized sincerely, keeping my lips just millimeters from his as I spoke. He nodded, pressing his forehead against mine, keeping our lips near. "Can we just sleep now? I think we should rest somewhat before the day begins." He nodded reluctantly, pressing a gentle kiss to my lips. It was something so innocent and sweet that it made my heart melt in my chest as I responded, applying the same amount of pressure as he did. He smiled softly as he pulled away, resting his head against my chest again. It felt much better to have him there, breathing calmly, heartbeat regular.

"Everything's going to be okay, right, Gee?" he asked, already beginning to drop off as he relaxed. I nodded as I assured him that it was; that nothing could hurt us and that we could be invincible if we really wanted to. He smiled at my answer, pleased with what I told him. It kept him calm and made him happy, even if it turned out to be a bold-faced lie. At least he was fine for the moment; at least he could sleep well for the rest of the early morning. As long as he was peaceful, I was fine as well.

I began to sing softly, hoping it would help him drop off so that he wouldn't have any more nightmares. He did so after a few minutes; it was 3:47 a.m. and he was finally asleep, breathing deeply as he went into a state of unconsciousness. It eased me to have him in that state and my eyes began to droop as well as I began succumbing to the waves of lethargy that washed over me. It was hard now to not just go to sleep along with him, to not just fall into that drowsiness that engulfed me. I didn't want to stay awake much either; I just wanted to be able to respond quickly if he happened to wake again with another nightmare. Knowing what plagued him helped somewhat but there was still nothing much I could do and that was now keeping me awake.

It couldn't keep me awake forever though. Eventually my own exhaustion at having been kept up the entire night was overtaking me. How was I supposed to resist something as welcome as oblivion from the world? I finally gave in, drifting off to the same tranquil sleep Frank had already fallen gratefully into. The last thing I grasped before I actually fell unconscious was his gentle breathing and his heart pounding steadily, oh-so-steadily, against mine. Then I was gone.

[Frank's P.O.V.]

A gentle knock came on the door, barely audible through the haze of sleep still tainting the air. A voice called softly, muffled by the wood as the knob jiggled while someone tried to get through. The sheets were warm, ever-so-comfortable, the edges fluttering in the breeze along with the curtains obscuring the open window. I didn't want to stir, to get up from the comfortable position I was curled up next to the one person that truly cared. It was difficult but, with a moan, I realized that there was no point in trying to go back to sleep once I was already quite awake.

Groaning, I disentangled myself from the man next to me, removing the blankets from around my body. Shivering at the sudden onslaught of cool air rushing over my bare body, I searched the room briefly, slipping into a pair of boxers. Yawning briefly, I walked over to the door, unlocking it and peeking through a small crack I opened. I met the smiling morning face of my grandmother looking back at me. "Good morning," she greeted, the smile on her face widening even as she took in my haggard appearance.

"Morning," I grunted back. "What're you doing here right now? It's..." I trailed off looking back over at the clock to check the time, "7:46 in the morning." I groaned, running a hand through the haphazard strands of hair hanging over my forehead.

"Are you okay, Frank? You haven't left your room since you got home. Don't you want some breakfast, maybe some coffee?" I sighed, lowering my gaze before glancing back at the bed where Gerard mumbled in his sleep, shifting, the blankets slipping off his bare body. I quickly turned back to the door before my grandmother got the great idea to investigate what I was looking at.

"Maybe later, grandma; I'm not really hungry right now." She nodded, giving me a small smile before walking away, leaving me to close the door. Sighing, I walked over to the window, closing it securely and drawing the curtains over it, blocking out the rays of sunlight slipping in; I didn't want them to wake him. Cautiously, I walked over to the bed, perching myself at the edge, just to stare at the man comfortably sleeping in my bed. He grumbled something, gathering the sheets in his hands and clutching them close to him. They began to slide off further, the fabric revealing the smooth skin of his torso and buttocks, pale and glowing in the soft light.

Though there was no one to stumble in and see him in that state, I leaned over him, covering his exposed skin. I would have to inform my grandparents of Gerard's presence later on so that he wouldn't be left without any breakfast. It was strange, wanting to be such a good host to my guest. I usually never had anyone over in the first place; most visitors tended to be relatives I had to attend to. It was boring and I usually ended up forgetting to pay attention to their wants and needs. Shrugging to myself, I pressed a small kiss to his forehead before I stood, rummaging around on the floor for a set of clothes that were appropriate to the decaying eyesight of my grandparents.

Settling on a pair of shorts and faded shirt, I walked out of my room, closing the door quietly behind me. Immediately, I set a path to the kitchen, knowing that was where my grandparents would be gathered. I flashed the both of them a quick smile as they greeted me, seating myself at the table on the seat opposite my grandfather. "Morning," I greeted with a slight grunt, looking down at the table as I did so. I had never been very fond of mornings; they simply didn't do it for me.

They both responded brightly, my grandfather from behind his morning newspaper and my grandmother from in front of the coffeepot where she was preparing coffee. "What would you like for breakfast, Frankie?" she asked kindly, turning her attention from the machine to me.

"I don't know, maybe some pancakes. Hey, make sure to make enough coffee for four," I warned, walking over to the refrigerator to check what we had that could be considered breakfast food.

"For four?" she asked curiously, placing her hands on her hips and cocking her head slightly to the side.

"Yeah; a friend of mine stayed over last night."

"You never told us about a friend."

"Well..." I trailed off, shrugging as I tried to think of some excuse I could offer them. Unable to think of anything, I remained silent, closing the refrigerator door before commencing to walk out of the kitchen. I walked back to my room, ignoring my grandfather's call as I strolled down the hallway. Once I entered, I noticed that Gerard had awoken and was blearily searching the room for me. Smiling softly, I sauntered over to the bed, crawling in next to him and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. A content look crossed over his features as he greeted me, arm draping itself over my waist, bringing me closer to him. He placed his head on my hip, eyes fluttering closed as he mumbled something sleepily. "What?"

"Mm...What are we having for breakfast?" I laughed lightly, running my fingers lightly through his hair, brushing strands of black out of his face.

"Pancakes and coffee. What do you think?" He murmured his agreement contentedly, bringing his body closer to mine, tossing one leg over mine. I giggled softly, beginning to massage his scalp gently. The sheets were falling down his body again, exposing his lower back once again. "You just can't keep the sheets on, can you?" I asked teasingly, the hand that had been massaging his head trailing down his back. He squirmed somewhat, lifting his upper body off the bed, peering into my face. A smile curved his lips as he leaned forward, eyes fluttering closed as he pressed a kiss to my own lips, shifting so that he was straddling my waist, hands cupping my cheeks.

I pushed him away lightly, watching as the sheets just deserted his body as he crossed his arms over his chest, a pout extending his bottom lip. "Get dressed," I ordered, crawling out from under him, tossing him his boxers from the floor. "It's time for breakfast."