Lawn Boy

“Where do you wanna go?” Asher asked once we got into his car.
“I don’t care as long as we get out of here.”
“My-my dad’s at work tonight. We can, um, we can go there if you want.”
I didn’t really care where we went, but I really did have the feeling that he was implying that he wanted to be alone with me, therefore implying that he wanted to take our relationship to the next level.
“Is that really what you want?” I asked.
There was a conversation going on behind the conversation we were actually having and I was getting a natural high from it.
“Yeah,” he said taking my hand.
“Okay, then…Let’s go.”
The car ride was silent, but not awkward. In the silence, our excitement built until it was about to break the roof of the car.
When we finally reached his house, he took me up to his room. That’s where laid onto the bed. We just sat and cuddled. I played with his hair. It’s really light and fluffy.
“You never talk about your mom,” I said. “What happened to her?”
Asher tensed up and sat up from the position we were in and faced me. “When I was eleven,” he started. “My we went on vacation to Europe—Berlin. We went to a festival there. I don’t quite remember what it was for. We got separated and…she was kidnapped. We stayed in Berlin for months while the police were looking for her.”
“Did they ever find her?”
“Yes,” he started to cry. “She’d been raped and murdered.”
I wiped his falling tears with my thumbs. “I’m so sorry, Ash.”
I kissed his cheek where it still glistened from his wet tears. We moved back into our old position, but this time, instead of just cuddling Asher started to kiss my neck. It felt really, really good. But then he stopped.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “If you’re not ready…”
“No…it’s just…”
“What?”
“I’ve never done this before…with a guy.”
“Did you have sex with Brenda?”
“No…it was Lacy Wilcox.”
“Oh…”
“I’m just nervous that I won’t be any good.”
“Being with you is always good Asher. You don’t have anything to worry about.”
“I—I…”
“What?” I asked curiously.
“I love you.”
I smiled, put his face in my hand and brought him to me for a big smooch. “I love you, too.”
My kiss moved from his cheek to his neck. As I kissed he felt up and down my hips. He lifted my shirt and brought it over my head and I pulled his shirt over his. From there, we proceeded to have a relatively conservative night compared to what I’ve seen in porn. We sort of just jerked each other off. But it was probably one of the best nights of my life, because I was having this experience with Asher. Asher; the boy I love.

“I’m gonna tell my dad,” he said after we cleaned ourselves off in the bathroom. We’d downstairs to watch TV.
“Ash, you don’t have to if you’re not ready.”
“I am ready. I want him to know how special you are to me.”
“What made you change your mind?”
“I think…I think it was what happened with your dad earlier. When he grabbed you, I was just so afraid and angry at the same time. I knew that I loved you and that I couldn’t avoid it anymore.”
There was a ring at the doorbell just as the sun was going down. Asher got up to go get it. I heard Jamie’s name so I got up to go see.
“What’re you doing here?” I asked when I saw Jamie outside the door.
“I’m here for my payment. Asher’s dad said he would pay me today.”
“My dad’s at work,” said Asher. “So, you can leave now.”
“Why so hostile, Asher? Are you afraid that I’m gonna try and steal your man?”
“No, I trust Max. I know he’d never cheat on me. It’s you I don’t like. So just leave.”
“Can’t I come in and hang out with you? Max is my friend after all.”
“Jamie, just leave,” I said. “Asher obviously doesn’t want you here.”
“What about you?”
“What I want doesn’t matter. This is Asher’s place.”
Jamie has confused me from the moment I met him. Or rather, the way I’ve felt about him has always confused me. I really hate him for trying to ruin things for me and Ash, but at the same time, every time I see him, I can’t help but that same stirring feeling in my crotch.
After Jamie left, Asher told me that his dad would be home soon, so he took me back home. When I got there, dad was gone. I was relieved. But my mom seemed to be gone too, which worried me. About two minutes after I got there, Ashley walked through the door. I told her what happened with dad and she was totally shocked.
We changed and both went out for a swim, even though the weather was getting a little colder. It was still warm enough to go for a swim.
“Ashley, can I tell you something?” I asked as we lay out on the deck chairs.
“Yeah, sure…”
“You can’t tell anyone—especially not Rebecca or Asher.”
“What’s going on? It sounds serious.”
“So, you know how Rebecca has been going out with Jamie?”
“Yeah…”
“Well, before they started to get sort of serious, Jamie came onto me and we kissed.”
“What?”
“Jamie’s bi,” I answered.
“Shit, does Rebecca know that?”
“I don’t know.”
“So, what’s the problem, nothing ever came of it right?”
“No, but he won’t leave me alone. The problem is, I can’t really get him out of my head.”
“But aren’t you with Asher?”
“Yes, and I love him, but I still can’t stop thinking about Jamie and our kiss. I’ve been distracted lately, but now that things have calmed down a little, I can’t avoid it anymore.”
“Dang, Max, this is really messed up.”
“I know. I just don’t know what to do.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t get so serious with Asher until you know how you feel about Jamie.”
“That’s just it, I know that I love Asher, but this thing with Jamie is just…”
“Lust”
“Yeah, not that I’m not turned on by Asher, because I am.”
“Okay, too much information.”
“Sorry, I’m just confused.”
“It seems like you have a right to be.”