Tame This Animal

Adam hurried into the building taking short, quick breaths as he made his way to the familiar room. He entered The Mingling Room with a shot of panic in him but it quickly subsided as he found the black haired girl bent over at their usual table again. He took a deep inhale and then exhaled slowly as he strode over to her calmly.

“Late again, Mr. Gontier?” Her soft voice purred and his breath caught as she raised her head and her eyes to him. She was dressed a little more up today. Her eyes were rimmed were black eyeliner and her eye shadow was a sparkly light blue. It made her eyes stand out even more and her lips were glistening with some kind of gloss that made them oh so inviting.

“Uh, y-yeah.” He sounded ridiculously like a fool, stumbling over his words the way he was, but he couldn’t help it. Between the dazzling smile she was giving him and the dangerously low cut of her shirt, he was lucky to even still be standing. “Neil’s not exactly the most punctual person in the world.” He huffed as he sat down in front of her.

“Well at least this time he was only fifteen minutes late and not thirty.” She smirked as she closed her binder up quickly and placed her pen on top. “It’s an improvement.”

“Only cause Ember emptied a freezing cold bottle of water on his face.” Adam chuckled as he replayed the morning in his head. It’d been a long time since he’d heard his best friend scream like a girl and then bitch like one too. He’d even go as far as to say that he’d missed it.

“That’s not very nice.” Riley frowned and her eyebrows puckered. Adam was taken aback again by just how stunning she was. It seemed like she was getting prettier every time he saw her.

“That’s how Ember is.” He shrugged and averted his eyes to the table. “She’s malicious and mischievous, but we all love her for it.”

“So she’s the trouble maker, eh?” Riley giggled and then placed her chin in her palm. She liked his friends, as much as she didn’t want to admit it. They were kind to her, even though they hardly knew her, and they were fun. She bit her bottom lip to keep those words from spilling out. It was bad enough that she was admitting to herself that she liked him and his friends. This is all so against the rules, she thought.

“Nah, Daisy’s the trouble maker. Ember just has her moments.” He shook his head. Those two girls could drive anyone crazy in his opinion. “When they’re together it is complete chaos. Meeka balances them out, thankfully.”

“They were all nice.” Riley concluded, trying to switch the subject to calm waters before someone overheard that she’d actually seen him outside of the program. “How was the rest of your week?”Casual small talk with that underlying ‘are you really okay’ question. He smiled bitterly.

“Uneventful. I did some laundry, watched Neil attempt to cook, put a fire out before the alarm went off. How was yours?” She didn’t like the callous twinge to his eyes. It was like an ice cube sliding down her spine slowly. She wanted his smile to shine again.

“Ben got the job at the tattoo parlor. It’s pretty crappy right now, but they say he can work up to an artist position. We’re going out to celebrate tonight.” She glanced down at her semi formal attire and winced.

“That’s great for Ben, but uh, how was your week?” Adam noticed the grimace on her pretty features when she looked down at her clothes. It was evident that she wasn’t at her most comfortable. He also picked up on how she didn’t really talk about herself. Maybe it was pride, or her being humble, but she always somehow switched the conversation to someone else.

Riley sighed. “I got my car back.” She half smiled as exhaustion took over her expression, “and it only cost a little over a thousand dollars to fix it.”

“A thousand?” Both of his eyebrows rose in mild concern. He knew she wasn’t exactly oozing money, but she had said that she already got the car back.

“Yeah, my parents paid for it.” She admitted and dropped her eyes to her hands. “It’s a little embarrassing when your 24 and your parents are still paying all your bills.” She forced a light laugh out.

“I thought you had cut ties with the folks.” He cleared his throat. Her timid behavior gave him confidence, almost like he wanted to protect her in some strange way.

“Nobody has cut any ties.” She spoke sternly. Riley firmly believed that family was supposed to stick together, through thick and thin. “My brother doesn’t exactly get along with my parents or their money. I, on the other hand, am a psych student without a steady job. Therefore, my parents pay my bills until I graduate.”

“So it’s kind of like a bribe?” He smirked as her blue eyes finally rose to meet his. “Everything you need is provided as long as you stick to their curriculum?”

“It’s not a bribe.” She defended quickly and frowned. “I go to school because I want to, not because they want me to.”

“Right.” He didn’t quite believe it, but decided it would be best to let it go. “The car should work ten times better now.”

“Why?” She looked at him oddly and he laughed.

“It was a joke. You put a thousand into the damn thing and it works just the same. It’s a little ironic, don’t you think?”He laughed more at her befuddled expression.

“I’m not sure you understand the definition of irony.” There were wrinkles on her forehead as she searched her brain for anyway irony played into this. She couldn’t find one clearly.

“Well then, please, enlighten me.” She giggled as she watched the playfulness return to his demeanor and his smirk turn impish. She liked him like this, carefree and witty.

“Irony, noun, definition: a method of humorous or sarcastic expression in which the intended meaning of the words used is the direct opposite of their usual sense.” This was her excuse to chuckle at his open astonishment. His mouth fell open as he just stared. How could he not? “So you were close, but no cigar.”

It was quiet while he just stared and she roamed the room with her eyes. “Can you do that with other words?”

“Some,” she shrugged and kept glancing around. “I like dictionaries.”

“You read dictionaries in your free time?” This girl was turning out to be more intriguing than he’d summed her up to be in the beginning. She was a little weirder too.

“I don’t read dictionaries.” Riley rolled her eyes in an annoyed way. “I like looking up words when I don’t know what they mean. The definition just kind of sticks in my head after so many times of looking it up or reciting it to Ben.”

“Huh,” Adam mused. She was different, completely different from the kind of girls he usually went for, but he couldn’t shake of the attraction. He liked her. He liked this girl. That, in its own, was wrong on so many levels but again, he didn’t care.

“Small talk now aside,” Riley put a big smile on. “I have a few questions I really need you to answer honestly.” He raised both of his eyebrows as she bit her bottom lip. Her blue eyes were begging him and he couldn’t even put up a fight against the curve of his mouth.

“Ask away.” He sighed and let his gaze drift to the window. Why was he suddenly so powerless against this girl? She was nothing special. That’s a lie, he scoffed and almost rolled his eyes. She was beyond special. She was unique and beautiful. He couldn’t ignore either trait anymore.

“Alright,” she exhaled the word as she quickly opened her binder to the clean paper and picked up her pen. “What started your downfall?” He stared at her incredulously while she kept her eyes on the light blue margins.

“Is downfall a technical term or,” He shut his mouth as she lifted her head up and glared her pretty blue eyes at him.

“Honesty without sarcasm would make this flow gentler.” She was hoping he’d take the advice to heart. All she truly wanted was to help him, save him. Whatever she could do to make things better for him was what she wanted. His witty responses were starting to wear on her patience.

“How do I know when my downfall started?” He dropped his hands to his lap and stared down at them. He hated therapy. He hated having to talk to Riley about these things. He hated that he’d let things get this out of control. He was even starting to hate himself.

“Touché, I guess.” She sighed and tapped the end of her pen on the paper. “Why don’t you tell me about the first time someone expressed concern about what you were doing?” Adam grinded his teeth as the memory instantly came to mind. He did not want to think about it, let alone talk about it. “Let’s start with who expressed the concern.” She prompted him again and chewed on her bottom lip while she waited for him to take the bait.

Minutes ticked by. Adam managed to push the anger away but the resentment was still clear in his voice when he finally spoke. “It was my mom.” Riley was partially expecting this. He’d mentioned his parents concern before. Her eyes turned soft as she watched his body tense and his lips form a tight line. She had the overwhelming compulsion to comfort him again.

“What did your mom say?” She spoke soothingly. He sighed as a last sign of defiance.

“She called one day. I was on tour at the time and I ignored her call at first. But then she called again and again until I finally answered.” He paused, letting his eyes go back to staring out the barred up window. “She was hysterical. I only caught a few words here and there. I figured she was just missing me. Then her sobs started to subside and I caught more words. She was talking about me being in trouble and how she could help. How she wanted to help.” Pain took over his features as he remembered clearly the terror in his mother’s sweet voice. “She said things would only get worse until I got help. Told me I was going to end up in a coffin before I turned thirty. Then she started sobbing again.” He stopped.

“What was your response?”She didn’t want to ask but she forced herself to. Being a therapist was all about asking the hard questions and taking the time to listen to the answers.

Adam barked a bitter laugh. “I told her I was a big boy. I could handle my own. And then I hung up.”

Riley frowned deeply. “Did you call her back?”

“No.”

She sighed. “Have you called her at all since then?”

“Nope, she calls. From time to time. Leaves a message on the answering machine.” Adam shrugged. “Tells me how proud she and my dad are of my career, wishes me the best of luck, and says she hopes I come home this year.”

“Why don’t you go home?”Her hands moved toward him on the table. Her eyes widened as she realized what her body was doing and her mind screamed at it to stop. She wasn’t supposed to comfort him. Well, she was but she wasn’t supposed to comfort him like that. Therapists had boundaries, very wide, strong boundaries.

“Because it’s not home to me, okay? Can we talk about something else?” He swung his blue eyes over to hers and pleaded with them. “Anything else, please?”

“Alright,” she agreed, figuring she’d gotten the most she was going to get out of him. “What would you like to talk about?” She thought it was best to let him control the conversation from here. This way they could end the session with smiles.

Adam smirked. “I’d like to know what you’re doing tomorrow night.” She snorted and then started to put her binder back in her bag.

“Are we really back to you hitting on me?” She arched one eyebrow as his smirk slightly faltered. “I thought we were past this whole slight crush thing.”

“I didn’t realize I had a slight crush.”

“Right, so you didn’t realize that you invited me to a couple’s lunch either, did you?” She tilted her head and he was dazed. He’d been caught without his knowing apparently. His smirk was completely gone now and a shy smile took its place.

“It wasn’t technically a couple’s thing.” He tried.

“Oh, but it was. Daisy asked if we were ‘shagging’ when I helped the girls carry the dishes back to the kitchen.” Adam groaned and placed his head down on the table. He knew it was a bad idea to leave her alone with them. “I didn’t know people still said shagging instead of just simply saying have sex.”

“Only Daisy says things like shagging, I promise you.” He ran his hands over his face as he raised it. “Her brain isn’t completely developed, you have to understand.”

Riley giggled. “I think her brain is developed plenty.” He loved that sound. It made him smile. Not too many things made him smile anymore, but her laughter did. “It’s yours that I’m worried about.”

“Ouch. Riley Jenkins has stabbed me in the heart, ladies and gentlemen.” He cried overdramatically and she giggled harder. A few people looked over at the two laughing hysterically, but they didn’t mind. He was too enthralled with her and she was too carefree to notice.

“Well, maybe I wouldn’t have to if Adam Gontier wasn’t such a big jerk.” She teased and then gave a small smile. “I should probably get going.” He immediately frowned.

“So soon?”

“I told you, Ben and I are going out to celebrate.” She stood up and hefted her bag up onto her shoulder. “I’m supposed to meet him at the restaurant in ten minutes.”

“Let me walk you to the car then.” Adam took the bag from her shoulder and easily swung it over his own. “Damn girl, what the hell you got in this thing?”

“Text books and notebooks.” She smiled as he gestured for her to walk from the room first. “I do have classes in the morning, you know, and for classes I need my books.”

“This bag has got to weigh more than you. How do you carry it?” He teased a little more as she rolled her eyes.

“I do it just fine, and I can do it now if you don’t stop whining.” She was mildly annoyed with the digs about her school bag. She got enough of the jokes and taunts about her schooling from Ben.

“I’ve got it.” He sighed. It was quiet as they continued to walk through the bland, white hallways. He was trying to think of something to say that make her laugh again. She was simply trying to sort out the things she had to do after dinner with Ben.

By the time they reached her car, he was giving up and she was determined there was something she was forgetting. He felt hopeless with being able to engage her in conversation. He wanted to ask her out, he just wasn’t sure how to do it, or better yet, how to get her to say yes.

“I’ll see you next week, Adam.” Her sweet voice pulled him from his thoughts. She was standing before him, hand outstretched for her bag and a slight smile playing on her lips. “There’s only two more sessions left.”

“Yeah.” The end of the program was far from his mind and yet on his mind at the same time. He didn’t really care about getting it finished anymore. He was worried about not being able to see Riley anymore, not talking to her tomorrow.

“Adam?” He shook his head to pull him from his thoughts yet again. He focused on her and found her on the verge of giggles again. “My bag?”

“Oh,” he chuckled and handed over the messenger bag. “Right, um.” Just fucking do it, pansy! he scolded himself as he watched her gently place her bag in the passenger seat. “I think we should go out.” Real smooth idiot, he mentally sighed as she turned to him with pretty confused blue eyes.

“Adam, we can’t do that.” The atmosphere went suddenly serious. She had a tiny voice inside her that was begging for her to forget all the silly rules and just fall for the boy. She was stronger than that. She couldn’t let that happen, no matter how much she wanted to.

“Why not?” He questioned sternly. It was one thing if she didn’t like him, he could handle that, but it infuriated him that she was holding back because of rules. Rules that didn’t even make complete sense, after all, she wasn’t really his therapist. She was his partner in a stupid program.

“Because we can’t.” She ran a hand through her hair, exasperated.

“That’s not an answer.” His hands went his pockets as he saw how tired she looked, like she was battling something big on the inside.

“Well I don’t have a better one right now.” Her eyes blazed for three seconds and then calmed. “Why don’t you tell me why you’re here?” The question took him off guard. He opened his mouth and then closed it. “You need to focus on you right now, Adam. We don’t need to mix things up this way.” With that she slipped into the car and hastily slammed the door closed.

She didn’t want to fight with him anymore and she didn’t want to deal with it anymore. She pulled her phone from the side pocket of her bag as she started the car. As the ringing echoed in her ear, she watched Adam’s back as he walked away.

“Riles, it’s a good thing you called. I’m stuck up here at the shop for an extra thirty minutes so can we move dinner about twenty minutes later?” Ben’s voice immediately calmed down Riley’s anxiety. She took a deep breath in and started nodding.

“That’s fine, Ben. It gives me time to stop by the house and drop off my books. Maybe I’ll even get some reading done.” It was easy to pretend like nothing was wrong with Ben. He made her feel like nothing really mattered. It was all a part of his so laid back personality.

“Oh, I love you, Riles. You are a fucking saint.” She giggled as she strapped her seatbelt. “Okay, I’ll see you around eight at the restaurant then.”

“I will be there with the camera to capture the effects of your first day.” Riley’s phone vibrated against her cheek. “I’ve got somebody on the other line. I’ll talk to you tonight, Ben, and I want all the details on how things are going.”

“Because hearing me say I swept the floors is so exciting.” His sarcasm and chuckle played through the phone and Riley found herself giggling along.

“I want to every detail, Mr. Jenkins. That includes all the boring parts where you blew your nose and fell asleep in a chair.”

“You’re secretly a nerd, aren’t you?”

“There’s nothing secret about it, my dear brother. You should know that best.”

“Sadly, I do. Eight o’clock?”

“Eight o’clock.” She confirmed before exchanging a goodbye. She looked down at her phone screen and furrowed her eyebrows at the unknown number. It was a new text message. She bit her bottom lip before opening it and then frowned deeper.

It’s Adam. Sorry for pushing you. Just call sometime when maybe you want to hang out. As friends.

She read it and then snapped her head up, searching the lot for his car. It was already gone. She smiled a little as she threw her phone into the passenger seat and then put the car in reverse. Adam Gontier wasn’t a bad guy. He was just off limits.