Tame This Animal

Riley had showered and changed into something more comfortable. She’d said goodbye to Ben and sent him off to work with a fresh batch of peanut butter cookies. She hadn’t told him about her dinner plans. She wasn’t quite sure what she was doing as she got in her car and followed Adam’s directions to his house.

She sat in her car and breathed deeply. Stay calm. Don’t flirt. She scolded herself. Those would be her two rules to get through the night. Stay calm. Don’t flirt. She chewed on her bottom lip as she walked up to the front door. She rang the doorbell and picked at her cuticles as she waited. She sighed as she thought about what she looked like to other people. A nervous fucking wreck.

The door swung open and there he stood. Riley bit her bottom lip hard at the thoughts that crossed her mind. He had a simple, thin t-shirt on and old, worn out jeans. No shoes. He looked rumpled and ragged, but in a homey way. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair and mold her body against his. It was a strong and wild impulse that drove her crazy. She shouldn’t feel that way about him. She couldn’t feel that way about him.

“Hey Riley.” His smile was easy and laid back, sending off rockets in her gut.

“Hi Adam.” She shoved and kicked the feelings away, squishing them into a tight container and closing the lid for the night, or so she hoped.

He took a step back and opened the door wider. “Come in,” he gestured to the hall. His eyes followed her as she nodded and stepped into the warm house. He watched her while she slipped her shoes off and placed her keys in them, like it was routine.

“You have a lovely home.” Her eyes scanned the dark walls and then returned to his blue eyes. She swallowed hard. “Do you own or rent?”

“Own.”The sight of her loosened his chest. It felt like nothing else in the world mattered, nothing but her. He distracted himself by looking around the small entry way. “My dad convinced me to buy it a few years back and my mom helped decorate it before, you know.” He shrugged and led the way to the kitchen. His grin was uncontrollable as he realized how easier it was to elude to his problem now. He didn’t get defensive or angry. He just shrugged. All because of her.

He glanced over his shoulder. “It’s bigger than it looks.” She stated as they went through a sitting room and then another hallway that finally led to the kitchen.

“Yeah, I think they both hoped all the space would mean more grandchildren.” He chuckled as her eyes widened and snapped to him. “They never imagined that this would be the beginning of my ‘downfall’.” He put air quotes around her old term and she rolled her eyes.

“Buying a house started your downfall?” She asked skeptically as she hopped onto a bar stool and leaned her elbows on the counter. He smirked at her and then turned his back as he forced his attention to the stove.

“Eh, I was already experimenting, I guess you could say, before I bought the place but once I did move it I had nothing holding me back.” He shrugged and stirred the contents of the pot in front of him. “There was no one constantly looking over my shoulder so I was able to get deeper into things.”

“Hmm,” she hummed and placed her chin in her hands, staring at his back.

“Now, as I remember, you are a vegetarian.” He spun around and raised his eyebrows, making the statement a question. She giggled and nodded. “Great.” He turned back around and moved over, reaching up to grab plates from the cupboard.

She quietly watched him as he ladled something onto the plates and then slid on the tile floor to grab forks. When he turned around toward her again, he had the two plates in hand and placed one in front of her on the counter.

“I went the safe route and made pasta.” He beamed and waited for her response.

“Pasta’s my favorite.” She smiled shyly and looked at him through her eyelashes. “This is really sweet of you, Adam.”

“Wait till you try it.” He smirked and gazed at her as she picked a forkful of the noodles up to her mouth. His expectant expression made her giggle and she raised her hand to her mouth as she chewed.

“It’s splendid.” She finally told him and he let out a low yes that made her giggle again. “So, where’s Neil tonight?” She asked to start casual conversation as he took a bite of his own food. The remark quickly back fired.

“Nope.” He shook his head and she scrunched her eyebrows together. “You always ask the questions, but tonight it’s my turn.” He smirked as her cheeks turned pink.

“What’s on your mind then, Adam?” She let her gaze fall back down to her pasta as she tried to brush away the anxiety.

He laughed. “That’s a question too.” He noted and she blushed harder. “Let’s start easy.” He tried to consul her with the phrase but she still seemed unsettled. “What’s your middle name?” Her sparkling blue eyes lifted to meet his.

“Gin.”

“Gin?” He repeated in disbelief as she grinned and nodded.

“My dad thought it sounded pretty and neat.” She shrugged. “What’s yours?” He gave her a look and she bit her bottom lip.

“It’s Wade.” He gave it to her because the face she gave him nearly killed him. The innocence in her eyes and those pink lips made him want to jump over the counter. “Riley Gin Jenkins.” He tried the name out to distract himself.

“And Benjamin James Jenkins. My mom called us Gin and James for the first six months of our lives.” She wasn’t sure why the words rambled from her, but she wasn’t able to stop them either.

“But now it’s just Riley and Ben?”

“Now it’s just Riley.” She corrected sadly and pushed around a few noodles. Her mood turned blue. “My parents don’t really like to talk to Ben and he can’t stand to talk to them. They’re disappointed and he’s a rebel.”

Adam felt the need to walk around the island and embrace her frail body. She looked as if tears were about to pour from her eyes and sobs break through her lips. “What makes you the happiest?” The question seemed to be so random. She lifted her chin and pouted her lips out as she stared at him. “The one thing that makes you smile no matter what.” He clarified, hoping to set her thoughts on a brighter path.

“Well.” She thought and then smiled. “Cupcakes.”

“Cupcakes?” She giggled and nodded. “Cupcakes make you happy?”

“Yes, they do.”

He laughed and shook his head. “I should have expected something totally off the wall.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Her tone went up a notch and turned playful defensive.

“It means you’re weird.” He was glad she was smiley again. “You read dictionaries, for Christ’s sake.”

“I do not read dictionaries.” She rolled her eyes and took a large bite of the pasta.

“So you say,” he muttered and smirked as she shot him a glare. “Alright, here’s a tougher question along the same lines.” He cleared his throat and readjusted so that most of his weight was supported by the counter. “Name ten things you love about the world.”

“And you call me weird,” she scoffed but smiled. “At least I ask questions that make sense.” She mumbled before setting her fork down and closing her eyes. “Ten things about the world,” she repeated to herself and then breathed deep.

He watched her in amazement. She looked gorgeous. He wanted to cup her tender, soft cheeks in his hands and then push his lips against hers, but of course he couldn’t. He had to stand and just look at her as the corners of her mouth crept upward slowly.

“I love the smell of rain. I love the feel of a pencil in my hand. I love the sound of kids at a park. I love the snow. I love books and the air in libraries. I love the feeling of someone’s hand in mine. I love the ocean and beach sand. And I love the wind in my hair.”

Her striking blue eyes opened and connected immediately with his. She smiled a little and looked bashful. “I think that was ten.”

“Yeah.” He was speechless otherwise. Of course all the things she said were simple little things in life. They weren’t material things, like most girls would have recited. They were small things.

“Well come on, Gontier. I know that’s not the end of your zillion questions so ask away.” She didn’t know where the sudden confidence came from, but she figured it had something to do with her previous answer. Closing her eyes and thinking of the things she loved most in the world pushed everything else away.

“What’s your favorite movie?” He was at a loss for something deeper, but it didn’t matter. He wanted to know everything about her, including the minuscule things like her favorite movie.

“It’s a tie between St. Elmo’s Fire and The Breakfast Club.” She giggled. “I’m a sucker for a good old eighties film.”

“The eighties, huh?”

“Yep,” she nodded and grinned big as she stared down at her plate. “When I was seventeen, I decided that I was supposed to be born in the sixties so that I could have fully enjoyed the eighties. Destiny made a small mistake.” It was embarrassing to admit, but she didn’t mind telling Adam.

“You believe in destiny?” He eyed her curiously. She didn’t seem the type.

“Not exactly.” She shrugged, quickly becoming uncomfortable.

“I don’t either.” He hated how scared she looked. He wanted to protect her, make her smile again. “I like to think we can change our lives however we want. Nothing’s pre-determined.”

“I used to have faith.” She whispered and she could feel the tears starting to pool in her eyes.

He bit his tongue. He wanted to ask what happened, but something told him to keep his mouth shut. She was too fragile, too easily broken. He pushed his mind to hurriedly come up with a new question on a different topic. “What kind of music do you listen to?”

She smiled a little at his attempt to change the subject. “80’s rock.”

He chuckled lowly and the smooth sound send shivers down her spine. “I guess I should have seen that one.”

“I also listen to some of the funky bands Ben always has playing. He likes acoustic punk stuff.” She brought her eyes up to his and widened her smile. “You’re in a band.” It was part question, part statement.

“Yes.”

“Am I at liberty to ask what your band sounds like?” She asked politely and he laughed.

“Sure, you finish that,” he gestured to her plate, “and I’ll take you to the music room.”

She hopped off her stool and held her plate up. “I am all done.”

“You eat like a bird.” He commented as he took her plate and set it on the counter with his. She stuck her tongue out at him and he rolled his eyes. “Come on,” he held his hand out and half expected her to just stare at it. She didn’t even hesitate to place her own in his.

“So, what is it you do in the band, again?” Her fingers laced with his as he pulled her down the hallway. They passed a massive living room and a closed door, before they came to another closed door but at this one he stopped.

“I sing and play guitar.” He grinned, waiting for her reaction. All she did was nod and push past him to enter the room. Her eyes scanned the small white room. There was a drum set in the corner, several guitars, two microphone stands, lots of wires, some chairs, and a few amps. “We mess around in here. Try to write something for the new album.”

“It’s nice.” Riley shuffled her feet over to one of the chairs and sat down. “Are you going to play me something?” Her head tilted as she smiled sweetly.

“What would you like to hear?” He sat down beside her and grabbed his acoustic guitar, resting it on his thigh.

She pursed her lips and stared at his fingers on the neck of the guitar. “Something you wrote.” She finally decided and smiled as she brought her eyes back up to his. He smirked and settled his fingers in place.

“Okay, but uh, this isn’t finished.” He glanced at her before focusing his attention on the guitar. The notes came out softly and then he started to sing with it. “Now things are coming clear and I don’t need you here and in this world around me, I’m glad you disappeared. So I’ll stay out all night, get drunk and fuck and fight until the morning comes. I’ll forget about our life. I feel so much better, now that you’re gone forever. Tell myself that I don’t miss you at all. I’m not lying, denying that I feel so much better now that you’re gone forever.”

It was quiet as the guitar sound echoed in her ears. She bit her bottom lip as he slowly lifted his eyes to hers. “You’re voice is quite impressive.” She giggled a little and a grin broke out on his face. “Those are some harsh words though. What inspired you to write those?” She arched her eyebrows worriedly.

Adam shrugged as he replaced the guitar to its previous position. “The words just kind of came to me the other night. I’m still working on some verses for it. The guys liked it, so if it’s done in time, it’ll probably go on the new record.”

“That’s amazing.” Riley shook her head and sighed. “It must be something special to touch so many hearts with your own words.”

“Yeah, it’s something.” He agreed, enjoying watching the twinkle in her eyes as she scanned over the room again.

“Ben wanted to pursue music for about a month.” She giggled at the memories. “He even shaved his head in a Mohawk during our freshman year in college. But then his desire ran out about the same time he got sick of school.” She rolled her eyes. “Typical Ben.”

“What about you?” She looked up and raised her eyebrows.

“Me and music?” He nodded and she snorted unintentionally. “For starters, I’m not even into this decade’s music so I wouldn’t last long making it and second, I can’t play an instrument to save my life.” She glanced at the guitars with a bit of longing. Just because she couldn’t play, didn’t necessarily mean she didn’t want to. “I much prefer my books and papers.”

“You’re such a nerd.” He chuckled and leaned over to ruffle her hair. She glared at him and swatted his hands away. “It’s cute though, don’t worry.” She blushed as she stood up.

“Well, I should probably get on back home.” Riley ran a hand through her hair nervously and bit her bottom lip.

“So soon?” He frowned and stood up as well.

“School in the morning.” She reminded him and laughed uneasily. She felt like smacking herself in the forehead.

“Let me walk you out then.” He tried to hide his disappointment as he led her back through the halls and to the front door. She slipped her shoes back on and he stepped out onto the porch with her. The silence thickened between them as he leaned against one wall and she the other. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him. He shoved his hands in his pockets and stared back at her until he finally couldn’t take it. Adam sighed heavily. “Why are we doing this, Rye?”

Riley furrowed her eyebrows together. “Why are we doing what?” She asked carefully and slowly. Her heart raced increased and her palms started to sweat.

“This fucking tension between us is driving me crazy. It’s gotta be getting to you too.” He looked at her exasperatedly. If she said no, he was doomed.

Riley breathed in deep and when she spoke her voice was gentle and low. “What are we supposed to do about the tension?”

He was surprised by her reaction. He’d expected anger, yells, scoffs, and a part of him even expected her to stomp away from him without a second glance. That was all too dramatic for her and she couldn’t deny the tension anymore than he could. He was at a loss for words.

“There’s nothing we can do.” She answered her own question glumly and looked over to her car. It’d be so easy to just get in it and drive away, but that wouldn’t get rid of the problem. There was no more avoiding this. “There are feelings of attraction between us, and I will take full blame. I shouldn’t have succumbed to the meetings outside of the program, or whatever else it was that stumbled this along. But it ends here.” She spoke sternly and nodded as she thought about it. “No more boundary pushing.”

“Why? Why does it have to be that way?” He was slightly frustrated. She was always pushing him away, but now she’d admitted to feelings and that was good enough for him to keep trying.

“Because . . .” She couldn’t come up the millions of reasons that she’d thought about several times before. There was just nothing.

“We’re not technically under any rules, and even if we were, there’s only one session left. After that, we’re just people who happen to know each other and like each other. What is honestly so wrong about that?” He pleaded.

“What do you want me to say, Adam?” She was inching closer to hysteria as she threw her hands up. “Yes, I like you. Yes, I liked it when you kissed me. Yes, I would love to kiss you again, but there is nothing I can do about that. I can’t,” she stopped.

After I like you came out, Adam was smiling. During the rest of her small rant, he stepped forward and grabbed her by the waist, pushing his lips against hers. She was caught off guard, but easily melted into the kiss. Her hands rested on his chest as he pulled back and rested his forehead on hers.

“You can, Rye. We can.” He whispered and grinned.

“Adam,” she started again with that tone that made him close his eyes.

“Please,” he begged and then opened his eyes to lock them with hers. “Please give this a chance, Rye.” Riley chewed on her bottom lip. So many thoughts were running through her mind. Adam groaned, feeling the let down speech building in her head. “Don’t think. Feel it, Riley.”

Riley sighed heavily. “This is going to be more trouble than it’s worth.” She grumbled and pouted. Her heart fluttered and her insides squirmed. “But I guess we can try.”

“Really?” He grinned and squeezed her sides. She looked at him through her eyelashes and nodded. “This is great.” He kissed her again. He loved being able to kiss her. He loved that she was kissing back. He loved that he could hold her so close. He loved every moment that she lingered on the porch with him.

After a few more breathless kisses, she pulled away. “I really do have to go.”She whispered and tilted her head to look at him. A smile slowly crawled its way across her lips. “I’ll see you soon?”

“Very soon,” he agreed and bent down to press one last smooth kiss to her perfect lips.

The kiss left her speechless as she stumbled away from him and toward her car. Her mind was buzzing and her heartbeat thudded in her ears. He stood on the porch with his hands in his pockets and a crooked grin glued to his face. He watched her tip toe down the sidewalk, eyeing her every curve. She gave him a final wave before ducking into the car.

Her fingers trembled with the keys as she wondered what she’d truly gotten herself into. He chuckled and walked back into his house to call Neil and tell him the coast was clear to come back.