Finch.

“Nick, can I talk to you?” William is asking. I just shrug. The show had been good, really the day had been good, despite all the driving we had done. I am tired now though, and I don’t want to I follow William. It’s dark, and it’s spring. It has been raining a lot and now there is a soft rain coming down.
“Yeah, William?” I sound bored. I’m alright with this. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Sometimes I really just want William to leave me alone.
“Does Eleanor know about Norah?”

“Nick! I haven’t seen you since mother left with you. All the way to Chicago,” Norah is saying.
“Norah, what do you want? Is it money this time?”
Norah only comes to me when she wants something. Or needs it.
“Little brother, don’t be so cruel. I do want to see you.”
“And what else do you want? It isn’t as if I have much for even myself these days.”
“Yet you have enough for your precious Birdie?”
Norah never liked Eleanor. I suppose it was because I love Ellie more than I love my own sister.
“Yes, I do.”
“And you can’t help me?”
“Not this time.”

“What about Norah? I haven’t seen her in two months.”
“Exactly, and what happened two months ago?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You know you have to tell her,” William is saying sternly. But how can I?
“She may not like Norah that much, but Eleanor respects her. I don’t want Ellie to hate my own sister. And she will hate her if I tell her.”
“Are you afraid she’ll be angry with you?”
I don’t like this question. In fact I hate it.
“Yes. Though it isn’t my fault, yes. She’ll hate me for letting my sister do that.”
“It wasn’t in your control. In fact, you did everything you could to prevent it.”
“Yes. But that’s no excuse.”
“Are you willing to blame yourself for everything bad that has or ever will happen in Eleanor’s life? That’s no way to live.”
“It is a way to live if you love someone,” I whisper. William is shaking his head. He is frustrated.
“Don’t I know what it’s like to love someone!?” he shouts. I feel sorry, I do. But nothing can be done. I don’t want to think about Ben, or anyone else. But especially not Ben.
“You don’t love me. I’m ugly and insensitive. I’ve been stuck on the same girl for fourteen years, and I’m twenty-eight years old. I guess I don’t know how to move on. I leave people, because I only care about myself and one other person. You want all that? No, you can’t William.”
I try to say it all so that he would believe it. But what he retorts with was unbearable.
“You aren’t ugly. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Your insensitivity has made me stronger. The fact that you can’t let go shows how determined you can be. How much blind faith you can put into one little girl. You leave people, because you are honest. Why would I not want that?”
I want to cry, but I was never a crier. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I’d cried.
“Could you just shut your fucking mouth? You don’t know what you’re saying,” I say. You see, now all I can think to do is be brutal with him.
“Make me,” he is telling me, and he is stepping towards me. The rain is making me cold. I back away.
“It’s time to go to sleep William.”
“Then come with me.”
I shake my head and walk away.