Bluebell
Just the one.
They say that cats go away to die, they can just sense when its time. They go away because they love their families, they can feel the sadness, and that's the only thing they stay for, to keep the happiness.
My cat has been really ill, she can't breathe properly and she hasn't been eating. Last night, I was so desperate for her to eat something that I raided the kitchen for anything she might like. I know she loves cheese, and salmon paste. I gave her warm full-fat milk. I even cooked her some bacon, and cut off the fat. She barely touched it.
I truly love her more than anyone or anything I've ever loved before. At times, she is the reason I choose to stay alive.
She listens when there's no one there to talk to. She can tell when I'm sad, and her purring just makes me smile. I can't help but hug her.
Most people go and choose their cats from a pet store or a breeder. But we came home from holiday 12 years ago to find a young cat meowing at our door. My mum wouldn't let her come it, and she stayed at the door all night. When I woke up I put a bowl of milk out for her and she gave me a look, that I still can't understand, but at the time I was only young and thought it meant thank-you. So I said 'you're welcome'.
Eventually I convinced my mum and step-dad to let us keep her. Its not like she would have gone away, she chose us, there was no way we could send her away.
We found out that a few streets away the family had up and left to another country, and left the cat behind. We also found out that she was beaten and abused by them, the reason she was so shy and skittish.
It took a long time for me to fully gain her trust. To teach her that it was okay to purr, and that I would never hurt her.
Its such a reward knowing that an animal that has been through so much abuse can trust people again. To know that its only you they trust, its a love that it impossible to describe, and you can only find out for yourself.
I named her Bluebell. After my favourite flower, and the fact that she had blue fur.
To this day, I still think she's the most beautiful cat in the world. And she knows it. We gave her the nickname 'Shiba', as in the Queen of Shiba, thinking that she owns everything. But I don't mind, she can have anything.
For twelve years I loved her, she will always be my best friend. I don't consider her a pet, more of a family member.
When my step-dad died, she knew something was wrong. She gave me that look again. This time I thought it was just to comfort me. She seemed quiet, and she stepped carefully wherever she went. Every morning she checked the rooms to see if he was still there.
I had no doubt that Bluebell would ever leave me, like my past boyfriends have done. I promised her that I'll be with her forever, in life or death.
I've never been on a long school trip, I was scared that Bluebell would think that I'm not coming back. Most people won't understand the bond that you form between your pet. But if and when you do, they will be all the happiness you'll ever need. I promise.
A few weeks ago, she became really ill. We took her to the vets for the first time in her life, and I was the one panicking. She'd never really had her teeth touched, or her paws checked. And I was scared of her loosing my trust.
She just got worse and worse. Some nights I'd wake up to hear her heavy breathing, she was in so much pain.
Tonight, making some chips in the pan, Bluebell looked at me as if to say, 'I need the toilet, can you open the door?' So I did. You learn to understand what they want, and they teach you.
Usually, I'll leave the door open so she can decide if its too cold to go out, and she'll come straight back in. But this time she went out the door, and came half-way back in. She gave me the look again, then went out.
I think it was a look to say that she wasn't coming back, or to say sorry. But thinking about all the times she's looked at me like that, I truly believe she's saying 'its going to be okay'.
If she doesn't come back, I'll just loose the will to live. Im scared, and I don't want to loose someone I love so much. Its cruel to keep her alive when she's in so much pain, just to avoid all the pain it will cause me.
But I love her, and she's helped me through most of my life. For that I'll be grateful forever. I just wish there's still time for me to say thank you.
My cat has been really ill, she can't breathe properly and she hasn't been eating. Last night, I was so desperate for her to eat something that I raided the kitchen for anything she might like. I know she loves cheese, and salmon paste. I gave her warm full-fat milk. I even cooked her some bacon, and cut off the fat. She barely touched it.
I truly love her more than anyone or anything I've ever loved before. At times, she is the reason I choose to stay alive.
She listens when there's no one there to talk to. She can tell when I'm sad, and her purring just makes me smile. I can't help but hug her.
Most people go and choose their cats from a pet store or a breeder. But we came home from holiday 12 years ago to find a young cat meowing at our door. My mum wouldn't let her come it, and she stayed at the door all night. When I woke up I put a bowl of milk out for her and she gave me a look, that I still can't understand, but at the time I was only young and thought it meant thank-you. So I said 'you're welcome'.
Eventually I convinced my mum and step-dad to let us keep her. Its not like she would have gone away, she chose us, there was no way we could send her away.
We found out that a few streets away the family had up and left to another country, and left the cat behind. We also found out that she was beaten and abused by them, the reason she was so shy and skittish.
It took a long time for me to fully gain her trust. To teach her that it was okay to purr, and that I would never hurt her.
Its such a reward knowing that an animal that has been through so much abuse can trust people again. To know that its only you they trust, its a love that it impossible to describe, and you can only find out for yourself.
I named her Bluebell. After my favourite flower, and the fact that she had blue fur.
To this day, I still think she's the most beautiful cat in the world. And she knows it. We gave her the nickname 'Shiba', as in the Queen of Shiba, thinking that she owns everything. But I don't mind, she can have anything.
For twelve years I loved her, she will always be my best friend. I don't consider her a pet, more of a family member.
When my step-dad died, she knew something was wrong. She gave me that look again. This time I thought it was just to comfort me. She seemed quiet, and she stepped carefully wherever she went. Every morning she checked the rooms to see if he was still there.
I had no doubt that Bluebell would ever leave me, like my past boyfriends have done. I promised her that I'll be with her forever, in life or death.
I've never been on a long school trip, I was scared that Bluebell would think that I'm not coming back. Most people won't understand the bond that you form between your pet. But if and when you do, they will be all the happiness you'll ever need. I promise.
A few weeks ago, she became really ill. We took her to the vets for the first time in her life, and I was the one panicking. She'd never really had her teeth touched, or her paws checked. And I was scared of her loosing my trust.
She just got worse and worse. Some nights I'd wake up to hear her heavy breathing, she was in so much pain.
Tonight, making some chips in the pan, Bluebell looked at me as if to say, 'I need the toilet, can you open the door?' So I did. You learn to understand what they want, and they teach you.
Usually, I'll leave the door open so she can decide if its too cold to go out, and she'll come straight back in. But this time she went out the door, and came half-way back in. She gave me the look again, then went out.
I think it was a look to say that she wasn't coming back, or to say sorry. But thinking about all the times she's looked at me like that, I truly believe she's saying 'its going to be okay'.
If she doesn't come back, I'll just loose the will to live. Im scared, and I don't want to loose someone I love so much. Its cruel to keep her alive when she's in so much pain, just to avoid all the pain it will cause me.
But I love her, and she's helped me through most of my life. For that I'll be grateful forever. I just wish there's still time for me to say thank you.