Catastrophic Accidents

On the last day of tour I finally gave up.

I gave up making myself suffer for something I didn’t do.

Sure, I’d have to live the rest of my life without my best friend, but I’d still have the memories.

And that’s what matters. She’ll always have a piece of my heart.

And for the first time in awhile a real smile graced my lips.

That night at the show I played like it was my last show ever.

I arrived home knowing that tomorrow I wouldn’t be seeing Jade or even talking to her but I knew that she was there with me. I know it sounded so cliché but I also knew it was right.

That night I finally got a good nights sleep. I actually started noticing and appreciating the things around me.

One sunny day exactly five days after the crash I visited Jade’s grave.

With a dozen of scarlet carnations in hand I read my letter to her.

Dear Jade Taegahn Alexander,

Long time no see. I miss you more than words could explain but that’s not what I’m hear to talk about. I’m tired of thinking about all the bad stuff that came with your death. I’ve decided that I need to remember you for who you were. You brought joy into my life. You were the crazy, psycho, hilarious, crazy, hyper girl that I came to adopt as my best friend. You always made me smile despite the situation and helped me laugh at the stupidest things. You made my life an amazing experience and I thank you for that. I know you wouldn’t off want me to be miserable for months but I couldn’t help myself. Life just wasn’t the same without you. When you spend everyday with someone and all of a sudden they get stolen from you, you can’t help but feel vulnerable. The band’s going good. We dedicated our last show to you. I spent most of tour with a dark cloud hovering over my head. Yes it was because of you, but I don’t blame you for a single thing. It was a learning experience for me. One day we’ll meet each other again. That day may be tomorrow or maybe in eighty years. Whenever it is you’ll be the first one I want to see so save me a seat. I love you Jade Alexander, always will.

Love,
Max.

I folded the letter and placed it beside the flowers and with a meager smile playing off my lips I walked away.

As the minutes pass, and the days roll by the pain will fade. I probably will never have forgiveness over myself but I’ll learn to live with it.

I rode to Craig’s house through the city passing places that I’ll never forget the memories that held within this deranged them, and the mental friends I had them with.

Upon arriving at Craig’s I could feel the beat echoing over the town as I walked closer to the house. The beat of music pulsed through me. A rush of excitement over-took me as I smiled at the party.

People were dancing, having fun and I joined right in with them. I’m ready to live my life to the fullest with no regrets and cherish the moments I’ll never forget.

The bright neon strobe lights radiated into the small crowd of people dancing. A wide grin was attendant on my face as I laughed and danced with my friends, though not drinking one sip from a red cup.

I’d make sure for the rest of my life no one else would be stolen away just like Jade.

Thanks for the days Jade.