An Open Book

Sometimes I wonder if it was something I did or said. Maybe I scarred you off. Maybe you felt sorry for me. Whatever the reason, you said you liked me. And in all those songs, it said you loved me and that you didn't want to let me go.

Member the song Today by Jeremy Larson? Yeah, I listen to it every time I get the chance. I go on your myspace profile every time I'm on it and hear your songs, I look at your picture, and I get angry. I get angry because I hate you. And at night I can't sleep because I love you. And every time I close my eyes, it's you I see. I dream of you, every night. I no longer cry on the outside. I'm stressed out and I hurt, bad.

I miss you. I want you. I was so close to being yours! So close it's all fucked up. I hate your brother sometimes. I hate you sometimes. I wanna get over you. I need to. It's not healthy for me to think about you 24/7. But I do. And no matter what, I fear that I won't find anyone better than you for the rest of my life. Isn't that just pathetic?

I wanna get married but every guy is just... Well, not you. I'm young, and I know that. But when I grow up some guy won't deserve a girl like me, because I'll be wishing for you. And you know what's worse? Everyday I waste my time and energy missing you and wishing, while you've moved on and are happy. But that's what I want more than anything else in the world, I want you to be happy.